Dear Senator

Discussion in 'Humor' started by USA in decline, Apr 22, 2007.

  1. USA in decline

    USA in decline Member

    Likes Received:
    Dear Senator Harkin:

    As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
    Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
    Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for
    becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from US Citizen to
    illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
    and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
    accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
    years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
    income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I
    see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone
    figures it out.

    Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
    every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
    taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
    apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
    for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
    room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
    premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost
    $10,000 a year.

    Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
    receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as
    well as "instate" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United
    States for my son.

    Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
    renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
    premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
    children driving my car.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
    (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
    most appreciative.
    Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,
    Donald Ruppert
    Burlington, IA
  2. The Lex

    The Lex Member

    Likes Received:
    It was funny when I started then it just made me mad and sad because it's true.
  3. la_la_di_da_da

    la_la_di_da_da Member

    Likes Received:
    This is a sad post. Those people need help.
  4. Just curious

    Just curious Member

    Likes Received:
    sad, but ever so true.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice