Dating someone with disabilities

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by wilt88ta, Mar 17, 2019.

  1. wilt88ta

    wilt88ta Member

    I had found another thread on this topic,[Would A Physical Disability Make A Difference To You?] but a long time has passed since its creation, so I thought it was better to create a new one.
    I had never thought about this until, at the end of last year, I met this woman.
    It happened by chance and, within a week, we started dating.
    This would perhaps be enough to answer the question, but I must admit that it's not all that simple. For both, for whom of the two has a disability and for whom has not.

    We met at the home of a female friend of mine.
    I was invited to dinner by my friend at her home. Due to the delay of my train I arrived at her house when they were already seated at the table.
    When I entered her house she made me sit next to one of her female colleagues and she introduced me to her.
    The first thing I noticed was her smile and an incredibly beautiful face. She has a very sweet face with big eyes and a lovely small mouth.
    When we started talking, I immediately felt at ease with her. I had the impression that she is a pleasant and intelligent person with whom it is very nice to talk about any topic.
    During dinner I had seen that her hands were pudgy but very small with short tapered fingers, moreover she was sitting on the chair next to me on top of several pillows.
    Despite her diversity she takes care of her appearance and cultivates her beauty. That evening she had a light make-up and a little lipstick on her lips.She'd taken good care of her hands, she had recently painted her nails.
    If I have to be honest,another thing that I noticed, and whose memory I thought for a long time when I got home, it was that her breasts, although hidden by the blouse, stood out on her very petite figure. I tried to look away but I could not help but noticed this.
    I felt attracted to her physically. although I had noticed her diversity, especially the proportions of her body.
    There are many prejudices about people who look different from the others because of some of their physical particularities.
    I do not know if it's my thing or others share this thought, but I think that often the attraction is something that has a lot to do with the personality of who we like.
    Physical appearance is very important, but sometimes it is not the most important aspect. Furthermore, each one of us has different tastes and what most people may see as a defect maybe is not for someone other or at least it's not as important as everything else that makes the person we like so special for us.

    I can't hide that, while the private part of the relationship may be the easiest to manage, once a complicity has been established between the two people involved, the public part may be the most difficult because it can involve our family and our friendships network. This was at the beginning, at least for me.
    When I met her again I felt a little uncomfortable for her because I was afraid to offend her or hurt her feelings saying something wrong, not to behave myself especially in a public context.
    But it lasted only few minutes. Fortunately, she broke the ice. She told me, smiling, that she understood how I felt and that it might seem silly, but if someone hasn't been out in public with her before, the attention she draw and the reactions of other people, can be a huge shock. Her words reassured me.
    Since she had gone on the subject, she began to talk to me about her disability and she did not hide her difficulties in carrying out everyday activities that most people do without problems.
    She described to me how the furniture in her house have been modified according to her special needs,and how her car was adapted with the controls arranged on the steering wheel so she can drive using only her hands because she can't reach the pedals.She talked to me about these things without complaining and even with a certain self-irony.

    When we started talking about more personal issues, she told me that her mother was very protective of her, although she is 28 years old, because she wanted to prevent her from having disappointments. This fact complicated her interpersonal relationships and added difficulties to those she already had because of her particular phisical condition. She happened to meet some boy in the past but, if they had the opportunity to meet in person, they quickly lost interest also because of her mother's attitude, and often there were no other meetings or contacts after.
    I got the impression that dating for her have been uncomfortable enough, that interacting with others (and with me too) probably takes more energy from her than I'm putting forward.
    I was flattered and grateful that she thought I was worth it.
    Unfortunately we live in different cities and can only meet on weekends or on other rare occasions. We miss each other during the week. This only adds to the desire to see each other.

    From the point of view of intimacy I believe that, at least in the beginning, it was not easy for her to overcome her fears and doubts.
    Often even people very self-confident in certain situations feel insecure because they fear the judgment of someone they like, or maybe they are afraid of not being accepted for what they really are
    She made me many questions, she asked me what I felt for her. She was very interested in knowing if I liked her phisically.
    She was ashamed because she thought that I did not like her because she has a disability. She feared that I would lose interest in her after seeing her as she is.
    When she asked me these questions, she was looking into my eyes as if she wanted to make sure I was completely sincere.
    For my part, I had no reason to lie to her. she attracts me a lot, physically and, especially after we kissed the first time, I started thinking that she is a hot and passionate woman.
    I kept imagining how sex would be like with her and one day I confessed to her explicitly.
    Physically we are very different from each other. For those who see us we may seem incompatible. Instead, since the first time we did it, our differences do nothing but increase excitement.
    From the point of view of libido, it seems there is a lot of chemistry berween us.
    It's been a long time since I felt so completely satisfied and at peace with myself and the world after having had sex.

    Returning to the question of whether a physical disability makes the difference, I can say that, as far as I am concerned, it is something that cannot be ignored and that certainly affects the relationship. As in any relationship, it depends on the people involved.
     

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