Dating Someone After Two And A Half Years Single

And I really like him.

My post history will show as much, but at the end of 2013, my engagement crashed and burned when I realized I was not ready to make a lifelong commitment to my husband-to-be. I unceremoniously dumped him, canceled the wedding and ran away with my guitar instructor a month later.

I then commenced staying in what turned out to be an abusive relationship with said guitar instructor for 8 months. I had my reasons, and while they seem stupid now, they mattered to me then. A few months after I finally got the courage to dump him, I got myself into therapy. A year later, I started taking medication for the anxiety and depression I've always had and the new problem of complex ptsd that he left me with. At one point before the medication, my flashbacks were so bad that I would argue with them out loud. It scared my cat and she would cry at me as I angrily argued with no one. I would spend weeks in bed crying or feeling nothing at all. Food was my only comfort. I gained so much weight. I cried myself to sleep every night and woke up crying every morning.

Taking the meds was like flicking a switch in my brain that canceled out all if that shit. It was miraculous. I was so relieved and so angry but that it took me almost 30 years to do this for myself. I wasn't living. I wasn't present. I was just existing.

Shortly after that, I started dating casually. I had a fun summer meeting new people, and for the first time ever in my life, I wasn't crippled by fear. I could function. I was happy, I was a good hostess, I was good enough to get a call back from every one of them and saw them each several times.

But then it got old, and I longed for something more substantial. I started to feel genuinely lonely for the first time in a couple years- not the agonizing neediness that I had felt for my abusive ex, but just a small but persistent ache for a companion to share my life with.

And then he messaged me online. We realized we lived five minutes away from each other, just across the bridge, so after chatting for a couple weeks, we met up for a burger and drove to the beach. We had our first kiss that night, and I felt real sparks for the first time in 3 years. I couldn't wait to see him again. We've been texting every day and have seen each other several times since that first meetup a little over two weeks ago. I know I'm not in love yet, but I could really fall for him. It feels so different and so comfortable but somehow still exciting. I feel like I'm making a new best friend as well as a lover. I'm trying to keep my guard up, but I know that it would already suck to lose him even if he walked away right now. Dare I hope? I think I do. Wish me luck...

I hope you're not reading this, but if you do, I'm sorry if this is a lot of pressure. Even if things don't work out, thank you for being a gentleman and sharing your life with me, even briefly. I'm so happy just to have known you. I feel like you've given something back to me that was stolen by someone else. I never thought I'd get it back, but here we are. Thank you.

 

Well let me be the first to say "good luck!".

You have a complicated history, but haven't we all, one way or another? At the start of a new relationship, no one knows how things will turn out. It doesn't always do to analyse these things, just try to let things happen naturally and enjoy the feelings of uncertainty. I'm a fine one to talk though, because when I was dating years ago I was always paranoid at the start of relationships and tended to keep them at arms length. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!!

Hope things do work out and keep us informed.

 

He does sound like a nice guy though.

 

Wishing you luck...

 

Yeh - hope it works out for you both and let us know whether it does!!

Here's keeping fingers and toes crossed for you...

 

Did he teach you correct finger style?, what a pickup is?, how to vibrato, did he show you his whammy bar?........and any other dumb innuendos I cant think of at the moment



The rest of the post was too long, and I'm too shallow to pretend to care

 

Fair enough, lol. And no, lessons stopped shortly after he moved in with me and we became codependent crazy people. But I am teaching myself ukulele now! I don't know if we can make that into an innuendo about masturbation or something...

 

You're damn right it's a lot of pressure! It's over between us!

 

God damn it, I knew I shouldn't have used the same screen name as I did on that dating site...

 

Wait ... by "you" did you mean the guy you are actually dating? In any case ... it's still over between us!