Dating More People At The Same Time?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by ohno, Aug 19, 2017.

  1. ohno

    ohno Members

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    I'm quite new to polyamory and I'm in a open relationship where we see other people but never just because of sex. Only if we fall in love with them and make some sort of relationship.
    I've never been in this situation so I need some advice. Right now I'm having two boyfriends. They don't call me girlfriend but we do all the things couples do. It's more than friends with benefits.
    First of all, I have trouble finding time for two relationships.
    Second of all, I know it's silly, but I live in a small conservative town and my neighbours are shocked when they see me with new guys all the time. I don't care what they think obviously, but I don't know how to deal with them staring or asking questions.
    Any advices on this please?
     
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  2. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

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    Wow, don't you love small towns?

    First, if they ask is a genuine way, just say you are dating both men.
    Plenty of people do this prior to a commitment.
    If they are asking in an intrusive way, a calm, non-snotty (as hard as it will be) "my dating life is not your concern" should suffice, or shock them into silence.
     
  3. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    yeah, i sometimes wonder how people find time for one relationship, let alone two.
     
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  4. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    What you do is your business and no one else's, unless you wish to share it with them. Don't feel that you owe anybody any explanation, just live your life and be happy.
     
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  5. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

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    As someone who has cultivated multiple relationships at once, I agree.
     
  6. Amethyst87F

    Amethyst87F JesF35

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    I'm only gonna comment on the title of your thread.

    I think dating multiple people at the same time can be a good thing as long as all of them are okay with it and in a state when they are able to make the decisions.
     
  7. Just for fun

    Just for fun Live your best life

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    Remove the word dating and replace it with experiencing. When I was younger I was experiencing twelve girls at the same time. None of them said they wanted anything more than the sex. Just be open to them all. Let them know you are experiencing several others at the same time.
     
  8. olderndirt

    olderndirt Senior Member

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    My wife managed to pull off multiple relationships in college. Her primary, committed relationship was with me, but I only saw her once or twice a month. We agreed that she could date others when I wasn't available, which was most of the time. She would have a relationship with one guy for a while until he wanted more commitment. Then she would end that relationship and start another. That process went on for almost three years until we became engaged.
     
  9. Just for fun

    Just for fun Live your best life

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    You would be surprised at the responses of women when you tell them up front that you don't want kids nor to get married to them. Then they know it is fuck city. It worked very very well for me. I would tell them that and that all I want to do is hang out and have a fabulous time with you doing all the cool stuff friends do together.

    I went camping, hiking, fishing, rodeos, road trips, drives up the coast. in the red wood trees etc., you name it we did it. We meaning several different girls.
     
  10. jennifre

    jennifre Newbie

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    I have never had such an experience :D I think I could not handle it. I have recently started using some black dating websites though, and I met a couple of cool and hot girls there. I am not sure, but maybe I will try dating a couple of them at the same time, it would be really fun I guess :)
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2021
  11. Just for fun

    Just for fun Live your best life

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    What do you mean handle? Do you mean the emotional aspect?
     

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