Damn I'm Constipated!

Three days of leftover pizza at work and my usual lasagna at night...I'm as bloated as Trump's ego. Success this weekend, I hope.

 

Have some prune juice

 

Laxating vibes send your way, my friend!

 

This works well

 

I was thinking of something like that. I actually had success about an hour ago; still feeling some distension however.

 

That's normal if its an accumulation of several days. I would simply advice coffee and a smoke, probably tomorrow morning (my experience is it doesn't happen again today, hope im wrong in your case) and you're your former self again!
Man, I sometimes feel supreme after this. Like, never better :-D I estimate i lose 2 kg at once sometimes after such an uhm production. Heaven I say!

 

Glad you’re feeling a little better- Metamucil will help with that distension.

 

I'm wondering now though: doesn't more fibers actually increase constipation? Fibers are what's keeping your poop from being thin.

 

It was a megaturd, dude. Had to flush twice.

 

Best way to start a weekend

Only twice? That's nothing bro!

 

Yeah, but I have an American commode that uses 4 or 5 gallons per flush.

 

i was constipated at one point and i'm positive that my research told me to eat fiber to relieve constipation. i don't remember why it was supposed to work, just that it was the recommendation.

i also don't remember it working. i think a good hangover was what finally did me in.

 

Wait a minute now, American toilets are limited to 6 liters by law. I know this because I drove to Canada when I was living in New York to smuggle a Canadian toilet back for our house in Georgia. I'm thinking it was 12.5 liters, but I don't recall and it doesn't say anything on it (which is why I bought that particular model). I had a disconnected toilet in our kitchen for months before we moved back.

Dice, drink a lot of water.

 

I know of the warm water trick, but sometimes different things work for different people. I know I drink enough water and still can become constipated occassionally. Fibers aren't everything in this regard (after all, sometimes constipation is not due to the stool being too solid), but watching one's intake can matter just as much!

 

Fiber swells up and turns your large intestine into a scat cannon.

 

Salmonella will clean you out really well...

 

Here I sit broken hearted

Paid a penny

And only farted