Cure My Conservative Brainwashing, Regarding Birth Control.

Growing up in a Texas public school has had some effects on me due to the inherent conservative beliefs, which populate the area around me. In school, whenever sex was discussed, I was not taught about birth control in a any useful way, but instead simply told that it all fails and if I ever have sex before I'm married the girl will get pregnant and I will get AIDs.

Now, I am in college, and thanks to the internet I have been able to inform myself more appropriately about birth control methods. This has come in handy as my girlfriend, of two years, and I do like to have sex. She recently tried the pill, for about two months, but the side effects were hard on her so she stopped at the end of her last period (three weeks ago).

Ultimately, condoms are the form of birth control we use, and I am very thorough about using them correctly. However, because of the things I was taught in my early life I am often left worrying later that something could have gone wrong, as even with perfect use condoms fail at a rate of 2%.

Yes, that tiny number is in fact worrying me, and until I the time comes and I know she is not pregnant it affects me seriously. A pregnancy at our age, 19, would be terrible. We are in a very serious relationship, and we are attending college together right now. I can say confidently that kids are something we will both be interested in later in life, but I know having one know would put us and the child in a very bad place.

From these thoughts I can come to the conclusion that it might just be wise to not have sex until the time comes that we can handle all the possible outcomes of it, and that does sound like the most mature decision. However, a part of me just says it's not fair that almost everyone can go on using condoms, successfully, not worrying, because they know if used properly there is no reason to mistrust them.

Can anyone give some advice or just wise words?

Sorry, it's long, but I wanted to make my situation clear. Thank you for your answers.

 

Maybe you and your gal could think about using the cap method in conjunction with condoms. That would give you added peace of mind.

Just a suggestion, and I'm no expert on these matters, just saying what I have seen from experience. And my experience says tat there's no way you and her are going to not have sex for years to come.

 

Wow, you are 19 and didn't have access to the internet until you got to college? Yes I'm being sarcastic because you're first two sentence's were way over-dramatized. Were you in an orphanage, foster care or adopted, I ask because you were pretty quick to blame the society you live in before discussing the parental influence in your life before leaving home! Now I certainly don't doubt the possibility that you indeed were told Sex of any kind before marriage would get her pregnant and you some sort of STD. I've come across those same people and they believe only what they were taught, so sure in their way of understanding because that is the way it worked for them and those who came before them. There is no way I would want to grow up in these last two generations. Parental/Peer pressures have always been around and for the earlier generations that's what we had to contend with. These last two generations have been blasted with pressures coming from all different directions besides Parental/Peer pressures which I would guess still remain the largest but for the first time in history kids now are under pressure from a second group of peers, their Global Peers. This group includes all the relatives we used to see only once a year but now we have access at the touch of a button. I only mentioned all of this to make it known that I can only imagine how difficult it is to make adult decisions for the first part of your adult life. Unless you have sat down and actually discussed living a "No Sexual Intercourse" life until you are married and able to support a child or at least able to support a child, then I suggest sitting her down and discussing not only your fears but also the risks you two are willing to accept to keep the intimacy. As I'm sure you know there are other ways to satisfy each others sexual desires but you two appear to be in love with a future and intimacy doesn't get any deeper than through intercourse. Just be sure when you explain your fears with the use of condoms being the only pregnancy defense, that you don't say anything that would lead her to believe that you are only concerned about your fear and not about how she feels about the intimacy you two enjoy, ask her if she has any fears and if not how does she feel about your fear with the condoms. Asking for advice on protection from pregnancy most likely wont gift you with the all encompassing answer you seek because you mention a fear of the condom fail rate @ 2%, which in reality it's a good bit higher, but you didn't mention any fear about the failure rate of BCP's, because it indeed has a failure rate. And with that alone, could it be that you just don't want to be the cause of any accident or did you just not know that BCP's have a failure rate. Short of sterilization with failure rates of 1% or abstaining from intercourse all together (failure rate of Zero), everything else has a failure rate. Lastly, don't complain so much about conservative values when you actually believe in them (i.e. worried about pregnancy before its welcome and supportable)!

 

been using condoms on dem durty hoes since i was 15 with no problems bro. ask your friends, i doubt you will find anyone that got pregnant while using a condom.

 

It is very simple: if you never have the intention of getting married it technically isn't sex before marriage :clown:

 

So I guess I was wrong. ISIS has already invaded the heartland.

Ok seriously: the only method of birth control that is 100% reliable is not to have sex. Other than that you might want to seek professional help.

 

think about this, your only 19, hopefully thats not the only person your going to have sex with, so you might as well get used to wearing condoms. they are the gold standard for birth control.

 

You make it sound like you have sex once in a blue moon. Like every third period or something.

Remember that probabilities generally multiply - birth control or whatever else with a condom is 2% of 2%, or whatever the numbers are.

That's a fraction of a percent.

Get yourself snipped?