Cuckolding, The Intellectual Fetish

Not sure if this has been posted before but I found this great article on cuckolding, thoughts?

I personally don't see the appeal in this lifestyle but i'm not very smart and have a low IQ . Do a lot of high IQ people enjoy cuckolding?

here's the article

continued here:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2010/07/29/cuckolding-the-sex-fetish-for-intellectuals.html

 

The idea seems odd to me

 

I think the article analyses it too much. I really do want to watch my wife fuck another man but NOT for any mental anguish. Im just turned on at the thought of watching her enjoying another man.To call it "mental S&M" or whatever is over the top in my opinion.
But each to their own I suppose.

 

What he said!

 

As stated, the cuckold lifestyle isn't for me/us. I don't want to feel humiliated and belittled. I do/did enjoy watching my wife being pleasures by another man. HOT. I enjoyed sharing her in MFM sceneries and tried to convince her to dabble in the "hot wife" lifestyle where she could sleep with other men on her own.

But cuckolding? Not so much!

 

I guess the difference between a cuckold marriage and a hotwife marriage is that the cuckold wife likes to degrade and humiliate her husband while the hotwife just likes to fuck other men for the thrill of it.

For me, the hotwife thing would be okay but the cuckold thing would not.

 

I wrote this for a column a while back.

When a wife chooses to be with another man or other men, the other men are considered lovers. What does a lover do? A lover loves somebody unconditionally. A lover nurtures and makes the wife feel safe, loved, desired, heard and wanted. He essentially adds to the marriage what the husband already does or doesn't yet do.

A lover is a third party that is essential to the couple's marital happiness. A lover is like a mechanic, in a way. Your husband may kind of know how to fix your car, but it's better to take your car to someone who knows what they are doing. If you have a plumbing problem, what do you do? You call a professional plumber who may end up laying some pipe for you and your wife. Maybe you need an electrician, a man that can put the spark in your marriage that you both have been longing for.

A lover is a man that will please your wife, and you in the process. A lover is a man, or men, who bring out and experience the best of your wife.

You, as a husband, are to be there for your wife through the good and the bad, her best and worst of times. Whereas a lover sees your wife only at her best, when she is open and wanting and willing to do anything sensual and sexual. And this is important. A lover should never see your wife at her worst. He should only see her at her best, because that is what he is there to enhance. 

A lover's goal is to bring out that which is most beautiful in another man's wife. Her lover wants to make her feel like she is the most beautiful woman alive, because she is.

Bills, mortgages, family problems, and stress should be put aside when a wife's lover is around. His responsibility is to make your wife feel as though nothing else matters but her. You wife needs her lover to be able to focus on her, not what else is going on in your life. And your wife needs to be able to focus on her lover, as well.

Your responsibility as a husband is to love you wife and make her feel loved. Her lover's responsibility is to make you wife feel desired, wanted and needed. As a wife, it is your responsibility to make you husband feel valued. And if what your husband wants is for you to have sex with other men, then doing so will make your husband feel valued.

A large number of men feel inadequate, even before a lover is involved. And this shows in their confidence and attitude toward sex. A lover is someone that can instill confidence in a husband by showing him that his wife is a very sexual being, and that she loves her husband, or she wouldn't have taken on a lover or lovers.

A lover is also able to relieve a husband from the stress of having to perform. The lover is the performer so that the husband doesn't have to be.

In an open marriage where the wife takes on lovers, the husband is more like a general practitioner, whereas the lover(s) is a specialist. The husband is the generalist. He knows a little bit about most things. The lover is a specialist and is an expert in one area, sex.

Although many men are not experts, sexually, they can help in improving a married couple's sex life and marital intimacy. Many couples tend to look for one specialist, but are also willing to see several generalists, as well.

When searching for that "one" lover, a couple will have to try out a lot of men. This is a task that involves the husband doing some foot work first. The wife must also do something. The husband will either go online or talk to men he knows to find men interested in sex with his wife. And the wife must invest time in making herself more attractive and sexually available.

In time, most women will mature and begin to appreciate the men who are still attractive to them, but perhaps not as attractive as the males they dated when younger. These males are those who have a higher chance of being a good partner and father to potential children. Women accept the compromise of a good husband and less than ideal lover because it’s what we are told to accept in terms of a wife/husband marriage. 

In a cuckold type marriage, the need for compromise doesn’t exist. A wife can enjoy the benefits, intimacy and support of a loving, supportive husband while inviting a lover into the marriage who matches her sexual needs much better. In this way, the couple becomes complete by more matching the biology that still runs our bodies despite what we’re taught to accept as our reality.

With a husband that truly would want his wife to be intimate with other men, he is most often expressing his desire to see her experience new feelings and pleasure, that is hopefully a turn-on for all, and an enhancement to their relationship. Knowing or watching his wife enjoy the company of another man is just a great feeling of fulfillment for many men. And, the fact that they want to share this desire openly with their wives is something special in and of itself.

Many men love, respect and trust their wives so much, that they just can't help wanting other men to experience that in some way. It is a great compliment at the very least, when a husband sees his wife with other men that desire her.

Some women get married without having ever been intimate with another man, others have... as they say, "played the field"... In either case, Hotwifing could be a good fit. Wouldn't it be fun to feel the thrill of dating again?

Not all cuckolds want to be humiliated, and fewer wives want to humiliate or see their husband humiliated. This is something a select few men want. And if it works for them, then good. If not, it never will work.

Cuckolding might be advertised as The Intellectual Fetish but, to be honest, it is a lifestyle for those that are mature, open, honest and in secure relationships.

 

Can I add a wife's perspective? When Phil & I swung, we occasionally had threesomes with another guy, then on a few of occasions Phil organised for me to have a threesome with 2 guys while he watched/took photos. At no time did he feel bad or anxious or "cuckholded", he just enjoyed watching me being pleasured by another man or other men, I am an exhibitionist & got pleasure knowing that what i was doing was turning him on, probably just as much as me. In his own words " seeing another man's penis sliding into me is an unbelievably erotic sight", just as I really enjoyed watching him get a blowjob from the wife of the other couple we swung with. She had no qualms about swallowing (I am not that keen on semen in my mouth!) so I saw it as letting Phil have a treat he rarely got at home!
There was never any jealousy or envy or guilt, just pleasure. It certainly wasn't intellectual!! (Though I do have a degree.)

 

this only works if your gf /wife absolutely loves you and is doing it more for you than herself- this way if the guy wants it to stop she will easily stop also. if your girl is not %100 in love with you -cuckolding wont work

 

I'm not into being cuckolded, but I would be into my wife having a night out with her single girlfriends where she is a single woman for the night. Anything goes - doing other gals, other guys, other couples. When she comes home she is still horny so I give her what she wants, starting with extended oral servicing.

 

that is cuckolding dude ! doesnt have to just be at your house. her banging other guys/girls with your permission means your a cuck no matter where it is

 

There's a big difference between having an "open marriage" (or experimenting) and cuckolding. Just saying.

 

Not convinced by that article. Seems like a rationalization. I’d rather see data and a predictive model that has passed some valid scrutiny.
It doesn’t appeal to us. But if it’s your thing, fill yer boots.

 

This, I understand. We definitely take joy in seeing each other taking pleasure from another. I just don’t accept the unverified, unsubstantiated article that was linked to above. It seemed like little more than a paid-per-word, narrative-shaping rationalization.

 

Cuckholding is only one of SEVERAL sub-categories of wife sharing and it is a common misconception to think that ALL forms of it ‘must’f fall into the cuckholding category..

Other types of wife sharing include:

1 Compersion – like what naturegirl1 and others above describe.

2 Wife does it with full knowledge, consent, encouragement, and WITH involvement of hus

3 Wife does it with full knowledge, consent, encouragement, BUT WITHOUT involvement of husband. This is sometimes called “hotwife”.

4Wife’ cheats’ WITH husband knowing, but without his ‘conscent’, aka husband chooses to look the other way and allow it to

5 Cuckholding generally requires some type of HUMILIATION or intent by spouse to FORCE him to accept the life style

In addition, relationships can change over time among the various categories. Some think that they ‘ALL EVENTUALLY END UP IN “ the cuckholding category, which simply is not the case.

 

For us it was all about sexual freedom, never humiliation.

 

Everything you say above is comprehendible and easy enough to agree with even if I don’t have the taste for it.
I just think the article was just more narrative-shaping BS to nudge people into believing that this is becoming the norm or should become the norm because now all the cool kids, or at least “our betters” are doing it.

 

I’m not sure what I you’d class our relationship. We dated when we were 17 for a couple of years before she broke my heart and went to Uni, I’d have married her then! I got fairly jealous back then. But 20 years later we got back together. I’m a lot more confident in myself now. We’ve had a threesome with her ex which was good, however I’d like to do it again without any drink involved!
There has been someone who works at the same company as her, who they’ve both fancied each other for ages but nothing had ever happend. I allowed her to invite him over when I was out, to have sex. She and him occasionally text and I was badgering her to sort out something else.
Months later, they met after work and she gave him a blowjob. When they occasionally bump into each other at work, they have a little hug and grope. They’re now planning on meeting up sometime soon and staying overnight at a hotel for some fun.
To me, it’s a massive turn on seeing her with someone else or her telling me what has happened. As long as she tells me everything and doesn’t hide anything, I’m completely fine with it. I would like to sort a threesome again with her and this bloke.
When they meet on their night together, she’s said she’ll take pics of them in action and send to me, if he’s ok with it. I’ve told her it would also be a huge turn on if she did something that would shock me!
I’m not sure cuckholding is the description as I wouldn’t want to be humiliated or degraded in any way.

 

You make it what you want it to be. Just have fun, and be sure to tell us how it goes.

 

Intellectual sado masochist is a good phrase. We don't do any humiliation and the point is to enhance our sex life, not to replace me with him but jealousy is part of the thrill, especially before hand and at key moments if I am there, the few seconds just before and during his first pentration and when he cums. However it is overcome by the desire to see him fuck her and give her the most pleasure she can experience. It is the balance between them which is the thrill.