Cuckolded?? What should I do?

Visit a tattoo shop, have WELCOME tattooed on your back and lay down on your "girlfriends"doorstep where you belong. And have your BBs removed. They are of no use to you.

 

Aren't cuckolding and cheating two different things?

 

Just got a glass of water, what if you had went out for a beer.

So they didn't mind your presents?

I've been in a few threesomes but. but all agreed to it.

 

Generally speaking, cuckolding in modern day terms refers to a relationship where there are multiple lovers involved-----because the term cuckold traditionally refers to a husband, it always refers to the wife having a lover, though there are many cases where the husband does too.

In the modern sense, the husband (or boyfriend) is typically a knowing participant, otherwise it is just a case of infidelity or adultery. I think that to do this the right way, it should be a mutual decision, and hopefully it would happen after the couple has become comfortable with each other, and I think that it should be after they have gained plenty of trust in each other, and are confident and grounded in their love for each other.

But sexual drives can be very compelling. There are women who deliberately take on a lover, maintain a relationship with a past lover, or sometimes it just happens, and then want their partner to participate---but at first they are not sure how to make that happen. I have heard stories similar to this, and the fact that she brought her lover home (assuming this is a true story and not a fantasy), and proceeded to make out and then make love in front of you suggests that this is certainly what she is doing.

However, the seemingly impersonal and disengaged response you had is yet another point that seems to make this story potentially fake. Then again it could be just the way you expressed it while still trying to deal with your own conflict over this strange new dimension to your relationship.

The sexual mores that have been passed down through the ages after the rise of the masculine and the fall of the goddess, teaches that such things are wrong. Never mind the fact that through out most of that post-goddess history, man had multiple wives, mistresses, and prostitutes. The Victorian era was a time when sex was not to be enjoyed by wives, and bearing a child was their cross to bear. Yet men frequented brothels. In the 1980’s and 90’s Japan, for example, still lived in a male chauvinistic culture that maintained such a philosophy (though things were changing). Wives were meant to be wholesome mothers who took care of the home and the children. Successful men had their mistresses, but almost all men frequented hostess clubs, which offered plenty of opportunities for illicit affairs, or at least a bit of casual sex.

Anthropologists will tell you that mankind has a natural tradition of multiple partners, including with women. Science confirms this, and states that genetically it is especially for women. There are still many cultures around the world where multiple sexual partners is a norm, and there are studies that show that there are fewer sexual hang ups in such societies.

In your case the relationship has trust issues that have to be worked out. As others have said, once that trust is broken it is hard to get it back. But she may have taken a chance that you would be a willing participant. But—if she joked about it with her friends she may need you to be playing a subservient sexual role, which you may not be happy with. For example, you get the love, but sexually you play second fiddle. I certainly wouldn’t want that kind of a relationship.

But even if you are her main lover, and the one she actually loves—you have to be ready for the implications of such a relationship. If you are jealous and angry when she is with someone else—the relationship may not be for you. If on the other hand, you get sexual satisfaction from her being with another man, and she is completely open with you (and it seems that she has no qualms about you watching, or possibly even participating in a ménage a trois) then you could have a wild and very sexual ride with her.

 

By the way, even though this type of relationship may be natural to mankind, it does not mean that it is for everyone. The traditional relationships of civilized culture are deeply ingrained into most people, which is to say that while it may be natural based on human nature, that does not make it as natural to an individual. Jealousy and possessiveness of a mate are very strong emotions in our culture. People who are satisfied with a monogamous relationship should stay that way.

But every relationship should have plenty of honesty and trust. Unfortunately in our culture, honesty is not held anywhere as important as we state it to be on the surface. I know way too many males who are very definite (with an elevated voice) about their wives sleeping around, and their insistence on a monogamous relationship. But then commit adultery on the side. Some of these people get angry over the thought of their wife committing adultery because of repressing this natural human nature, or some other feelings or thought, including issues of love into the shadow. Others do it out of jealousy or possessiveness or a strong sense of male chauvinism. (and male chauvinism itself is in part a repression of the males internal feminine nature (the anima)). I have also known women who are very possessive of their mate, and yet sleep around behind his back.

I think dishonesty in a relationship on the side of the male or female is far worse than anything that a person can do to their spouse. Some people may find it hard to believe but many people who have a cheating spouse feel that it is the lies that hurts them much more than the actual fact that they are having sex with someone else.

On the other hand, if the question of allowing a partner sleep with someone else comes up, and the partner is against it, then that should be respected. Maybe at a later time they will warm up to it. And then if it is tried out, it should not continue if the partner doesn't like it. In other words there should be rules and they should be honored.

When I spoke of other cultures where promiscuity is natural, I was not referring to cultures where the institution of marriage is established as for multiple wives, or those of multiple husbands. I do not know of any studies on these cultures where there is a stronger influence of the institutions of civilization. I am referring to studies that have been done on indigenous tribes that have very little influence of civilization.