crisis line help with crack..

Discussion in 'Stoners Lounge' started by deleted, Feb 4, 2009.

  1. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    ring ring..

    CC..crisis center..
    PC.. Person calling..

    CC, Hello crisis center can I help you..
    PC, yes, Im having a really hard time with this crack..

    CC, when did this start sir..
    PC, started a while ago, and its getting worse, Ive spent alot of money on this crack. Nothing is helping.

    CC, I see sir, what do you need help with sir, the crack?
    PC, yes, this crack is driving me crazy, my wife is going to leave me if I dont fix this crack problem soon. Alot of her things got ruined by this crack and its all my fault.

    CC, what got ruined?
    PC, Her clothes and some other things.

    CC, Did you sell her things for crack?..
    PC, Sell them? no, they wernt worth much no more cause the crack., I just gave the tv away to the trashman cause of the crack..

    CC, Is that what they call them today, trashman?
    PC, yeah.. What a waste, This crack is killing me!!, I keep pouring all my money into this crack and nothing is helping.

    CC, Maybe you should try and get into rehab.
    PC, I cant afford to remodel. I spent enough money on this crack as it is..

    CC, What can I do to help you sir?
    PC, Oh I dont know, I just cant calm down cause of this crack..

    CC, yeah crack will make your heart race, raise your anxiety.
    PC, you aint kidding.. All I think about is this crack..

    PC, what do you think I could put in this crack to make it better?
    CC, Why would you want to make the crack better?

    PC, Ahh armt you listening to me? This crack is getting worse!!
    CC, Sir I think you should stop using the crack?

    PC, using the crack? this crack is using me! taking all my hard earn money and its only getting bigger..
    CC, yes sir the crack problem will get bigger if you dont address the problem..

    PC, Im trying to, thats why I called you, but you dont seem to know a fucking thing about crack!!
    CC, Im here to help you the best I can, Maybe you can take a walk and forget about the crack?

    PC, when I come back the crack is still going to be in the house!!
    CC, do you live in a crack house?

    PC, GEzxxxze fucking christ yes! I live in a crack house. Thats the problem!
    and the landlord will not do nothing to fix the problem..
    CC, Have you tried calling the police and see if they can get the crack out of your house?

    PC, the cops cant do nothing about the crack, they even drive by looking at the crack all the time and dont do nothing about it..
    CC, Thats a shame sir..

    PC, This putty dont work at all!
    CC, Putty?

    PC, yeah I tried to use it to fill the crack spot..
    CC, Putty, is that something like crack?

    PC, putty is all cracked too...
    CC, dont understand caller? Where do you get putty?

    PC, from the store, you make it yourself, mix the powder and it hardens,
    But them it cracks too., Im so mad!!

    CC, Sir are you trying to fix a crack in the Wall?
    PC, umm, of course Im trying to fix a crack in the wall, WTF kind of crisis line is this?

    CC, I thought you were talking about crack cocaine?
    PC, Cocaine is that something I can put in the crack?

    CC, That is crack sir.
    PC, what is crack?

    CC, Cocaine.
    PC, huh?

    PC, you sure dont know what your talking about?
    CC, the crack that your having a problem with, is that crack cocaine?

    PC, no its just a crack, it got worse when I wrecked the car on it too..
    CC, the crack got worse cause of the car?

    PC, yes, smashed it up pretty bad.
    CC, the car?

    PC, yes..
    CC, Caller your confusing me. Do you have a drug problem.

    PC, whats that have to do with the crack? Cause I smoke a little bit of weed now its my fault with this crack...
    CC, marijuana can lead to other things?

    PC, fuck this crack!! Im going to go smoke a joint..
    CC, Well sir, I cant advocate for thet but at least its not crack..

    PC, Ill get high and Ill still be thinking about that crack..
    CC, That might take a while to fix..

    PC, *errrrr* cough.. fuck it. Ill worry about the crack tomorrow..
    CC, One day at a time sir.. Are you going to be ok..

    PC, yes.
    CC, well I have to take other callers now.. feel free to call back if you need more help with the crack..
    PC, ok Im sure I will..

    CC, good nighht caller.
    PC, Good night...

    A Orison original.. :D
  2. pushit

    pushit One jive Motha Fucka

    I realized what it was about as soon as I got a couple lines down... But its great stuff.
  3. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    is it ok? Idk, if its good or not... Im so high right now..
  4. pushit

    pushit One jive Motha Fucka

    Fo sheezy its killa. Plus I ended up making a drug joke with my last response.
  5. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    :rolleyes:... over my head.. Good one, :cheers2:
  6. pushit

    pushit One jive Motha Fucka

    Its the only line I've said in a long time that I can actually laugh at with truth to it, I'm not a funny guy but that just makes we giggle and spit.
  7. porkstock41

    porkstock41 stay positive and love your life ~311

    i thought it was funny
  8. Smokinjuana

    Smokinjuana Member

    Yeah it was pretty good
  9. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    ^ thanks all...

    yes, it can make you sit up all night and think about crack jokes...
  10. skullkidnate

    skullkidnate ナサニエル

    Hahaha, that was good man!
  11. marksup123

    marksup123 I'm a girl!

    i thought he was talking about his butt crack.

  12. st. stephen

    st. stephen Senior Member

    lol i applaud it, partially for the comedy in it, partially for taking the time to write that

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