Craziest thing used

What’s the craziest thing you’ve used to masturbate with?

 

Oh there have been many over the years...here are some that cum to mind....

1) A homemade vagina out of a pillow, sock, banana peel. It was slimey and messy but I came super fast...aka horny teenager days...#hat tip RBecca

2) college years: I had a roommate that was kind of messy. Tiny house and one bathroom. She would rush out of the house to get to work on time. I worked night shift so I was always a sleep when she left. Many times a week, I would wake up and she would have her night clothes in a pile on the toilet or right next to it, towel, makeup and other odds and ends strewn about. Usually shorts and a tee, but I could also find her panties too. I would smell her amazing pussy sent and masturbate. I would then clean up the bathroom and throw her clothes in the laundry. She thought it was the nicest thing in the world and had no idea was intimately familiar with the sent of her vagina and would cum nearly every day to it. Just writing this I am hard and can recall that amazing scent. Going to rub one out in remembrance after this post.

3) I love LOVE anal play, if it is the right shape I'll give it a try. Probably the craziest: 1) a makeup bottle glass, got sucked up and I was freaking out for about an hour trying to get it out so I did not have to ask parents to take me to the doctors. Success omg that would have been mortifying to explain!!!
2nd crazy thing a "theracane" this back massager thing with many fun insertable points. It's not what they designed it for but dam did it hit my prostate in many shuddering orgasms. It was weird and crazy. I preferred my dido, but this was discreet and easy to clean. It was kept in the bathroom as I liked to "work out the knots in a hot shower, it's very therapeutic" lol

 

When my roomates were gone I ended up humping the couch . Even had porn on .

 

When I was like 13, my dad had a vibrating finishing sander. It had a soft thick felt pad on it and man oh man, did that thing do the trick!! I remember getting up early before school, sneaking down in the basement and getting off to 'a buzz', as I called it. Finally, I figured it out how to jerk off - almost by accident - it was like an epiphany - shit ! I could have been doing it all the time instead of sneaking the buzz in when I could.

 

how did u use the sander?

 

Could of been painful if you snook down in the dark to get your "Buzz" and he'd used his sander and left the sandpaper on it

 

It was soft, and I used it like a vibrator, on the head of my cock. Wow. Then, it was realllly something. Then I wised up......

I'd guess, with all the older brothers I had, I probably wasn't the first. Would have been nice if they let me in on the secret of doing it properly, but that was a big taboo to talk about that...

What a horny kid I was...am.....will be.....

 

its ok I humped a couch one time

 

Pillow, couch, corner of the mattress (awesome position to grind with any pressure you want), jacuzzi jet, inside my pants

 

It was at a hotel when I was travelling for my work. Not long after I was done other people came in. I wrapped the towel around my waist in case the cum came through the speedo I was wearing

 

It was a tight fitting one. That was all we were in those days, especially also i had been in competitive swimming until three years before that.
In those days I would have been very self conscious about my erections AND if I had ejaculated.
Not today, I would be discreet with certain people around me but I would let you or someone like you look all you like, I would hope to get hard also

 

In my 30’s I switched to shorts style bathing suits

 

When I was 14 I was reading a book that recommended ice cubes (in a plastic bag) on the balls. I tried it. It worked.

 

...

 

Nothing besides my hand on my cock. But water bottles work great for anal play.

 

I can't say I've ever used anything other than toys or my hand...kinda want to now though! Any suggestions?

 

On the suggestion of @CandyCane1990 I used a banana skin tonight. Warmed it up first and squirted some hand moisturiser into it for good measure (didnt have lube handy). Felt kinda strange at first but then felt really good and finishing inside it felt amazing!

Definitely the strangest thing I've used

 

e-stim

 

First of all, the girl was really high, she was using feathers to tease me, I was tied up on her bed.
In an attempt to make her laugh I asked what happened to the bird, she laughed and said,
"It would be perverted if I used the bird."

 

Warmed Tomato

 

In my early 20s in Karate class, I had some Karate gloves. The material was fairly slick, spongy but firm. When moistened it actually felt quite similar to flesh.
I whacked off with those quite a few times.