Craziest place you've masturbated?

We had this temporary vice principle who was really hot when I was in great 9. She always wore a short skirt and really thin stockings. She hated me, she was really mean to me and went out of her way to pick on me sometimes. One time in her office I was in a lot of trouble for something and she said she was going to make photocopy of something, and she said "Stay here , I'll be about five minutes." So, my dick already being hard, and no windows in this office, I decided that within 25 to 30 seconds, I could probably blow it. So, I did...in the coffee pot on her desk. Had about 2 or 3 minutes to spare.

 

I was in my hot tube with my wife who at that time was not interested in sex of any kind. I started stroking and wife was reading a book never looked up so I just kept going to a finish.

 

I would of helped

 

This is both horrible and great! Lol
I was about 14 and one of my older sisters friends was over for the weekend. This one was real bitch, extremely unpleasant, but crazy good looking, she was 3-4 years older than me. For whatever reason I was home alone for a little bit that weekend, I took her toothbrush from her bag and scrubbed my junk with it.
Awful, I know, but no regrets. Lol

 

Myself
at a private beach in the water. Wanted to know how it feels to orgasm with the head swishing against the water. But I wasn’t able to cum.

at an ocean beach, neck deep so people don’t see the activity below. Interrupted too many times, didn’t cum.

While driving on a secondary road. First of two full body orgasms next one was from a bj with a prostitute, more intense.

behind a dumpster on a small street

in a trench while doing guard duty, during a training exercise. Didn’t cum, I was interrupted
But I went deep in the woods once I was relieved from the duty. I came but it was so so

the other times were while being masturbated

 

For me age 13 my Dad took me deer hunting and I was new to masturbation my dad said by this tree and don’t leave it. Once he was gone even though it was 27 degrees I got it out to play.

 

You should have left her a small sample on it...

 

I used to enjoy masturbating in the university library toilets in Manchester. I was a student there and it would ease the stress of studying. Sometimes i would just get the urge. They weren't like regular toilets with multiple cubicals and separate sinks. Just 4 cubicals per floor, which had there own sink. So once in there you could beat away in front of the mirror and watch yourself unload into the sink. I used to take in a lads mag for inspiration. Felt great to feel that relief, sometimes I would do multiple rounds and drain my ball's. I loved the idea that it was semi close to public masturbation, and the naughty feeling walking back through the library. I always cleaned up after myself so no one would have known. I never took lube tho, kind of wich I had, so I could have a long edging session.

 

Great story’s thanks for sharing

 

When I was16 at high school I witnessed a lad rubbing one out in the toilet cubicle. I waited to see who it was and when the door opened it was a 13yr old. As he washed his hands I smiled and said to him. "Just a heads up....I could see what you were doing by your shadow on the floor, you need to be more careful " He went beetroot walked out without saying anything. Looking back he was lucky it was me as lots of lads would have have taken pleasure in telling others about it.

 

My girlfriend gave me a handjob in a car with her younger sister sleeping (or pretending to) in the front. She was 19, sister about 17. She sat to my right in the centre rear seat and took my cock out, and jerked me off behind her sister's seat so that the cum ran down all over her hand and my trousers. The sister must have been able to smell it or at least hear some of the regular noises. I was wearing black trousers too so had to be careful getting out later...!

 

A tanning bed and dressing rooms at Kohl’s and JC Penney’s

 

A cemetery.

 

At a hot spring in the open.

 

We were camping in the Florida panhandle in a place right on the beach. It was a beautiful night, clear and full of stars. My wife was already sleeping so I went out to look at the stars. I walked out into the water and was enjoying the evening, I was alone no one around to I dropped my shorts and let the cool ocean air hit my balls, felt so nice and I got instantly hard. So I jerked off into the ocean, hoping maybe someone was watching.

 

Under a sun bed (indoor one), decided to try it naked and this led to me feeling horny so masturbated whilst lying there. Bit messy as there was cum everywhere. I wouldn’t recommend it or do it there again as I burnt my ass and my cock was a bit delicate after.

 

Behind the garages near where I live. There's lots of rubbish there and old tyres but I can take my knickers all the way off there and do it.

 

In the owner’s garage when at a younger age, previous poster reminded me of this forgotten one.
In a trench in my army days
A jacuzzi using the jet
Behind a dumpster in an alley
In water at a private beach
While driving

Getting masturbated all years ago; at a provincial park, a church parking lot, a community club parking lot, a landfill, a carpool (bj included), beside a water treatment plant, twice in an industrial park, beside an airport, while driving, an empty lot in a subdivision in development (including bj), a school yard in the evening (including bj), there could be more.

 

A new one today, on the side of the highway this afternoon. I detoured to bring gas in a can for a stranded woman in an old rusty Chevy.
I didn’t work and had time, and as usual I help people when I can.
She didn’t have CAA, the road assistance in Canada, and didn’t want it (no credit card to afford it).

So after emptying the can in her gas tank I thought about one woman I helped years ago and I took my time without being obvious about it. She offered to reward me like I was hoping, I knew she didn’t mean money but I still mentioned she didn’t have to pay me.

She blurted out she didn’t have money and wasn’t talking about it, I started getting excited and swell in time when she looked below the belt. I said I would be happy to let her thank me and she was quick to say she would not fuck right here. I asked for either a blowjob or a handjob, she said a blowjob was too not a good idea so I was still happy to get a handjob.

We got in the backseat of my car since it has tinted windows and I grabbed a few tissues in advance. She said I have a nice looking one and from my smile she said I must have been told already before. I said I did.

I reached for her breasts but she looked awkward with it so I took my hand away and apologized, but seconds later she asked if I would cum quicker if she let me do. I said it would, she reached inside her top from top and took them out of their bra cups but would not lift her top or show them, in case.
I did some fondling but it didn’t last very long because I started cumming and placed the tissues to catch the ejaculation.
I have to say I was already excited and turned on in advance when she offered.

While I wiped my cock she put her breasts back in the bra properly as she watched me staring at them. She said to go ahead and feel them for a little longer so I did as she said I didn’t take long. I reminder her that she was right it would not take long if I got to play with her breasts.
She looked at my shrunken flaccid cock and gave it a little grab, commented on the difference in size and that she was glad I liked the reward, and she thanked me before getting out and back to her car.

I got back in the driver seat and clipped the seatbelt and as she drove past I looked at her to wave but she didn’t look. But she wiggled her fingers to wave goodbye.

 

As an adult - In a dry sauna at the gym with about 6 other guys. I was nude sitting up against the wall on my towel and the guy across from me was starting to get a semi, and a few others as well (it's always like a chain reaction) I just played it off like I was relaxing but I was slowly stroking my cock while people would casually glance over. I had my knees up and bent a bit to be kind of discreet. I played a little game with myself to see how long I could hold my cum in. I ended up finally letting go and twitching a bit... I could tell a few guys looked over. Spurts went well beyond my legs and made a splashing noise hitting the towel on the bench.