Counselor screwed me

in those petitions? oh positions? sry.
yes, that is exactly what you should have learned. not to trust all professionals because they are a professional, medical or not. lols like i said more...

 

My very first sex partner was 31. I was 17. He was a clinical psychologist. And I was a high school drop out. The dude totally played me like a violin. He claimed he wanted to help me build up my self-esteem, then dumped me after our third sexual encounter. I was a total basket case. I really believed he gave a damn about me.

5 years after, he was caught molesting a 14 year old male youth in an alley. It was a huge story, and he paid a very high price: He lost his practice, and only avoided doing jail time, because his wealthy daddy hired a very good lawyer. Moral of the story? Watch out when an older dude claims he wants to help you through a difficult time in your life.

I really do feel for you. There's lots of sharks out there. And some are working in the psychology profession. I'm sorry this happened to you, but perhaps your experience might prevent somebody else from becoming prey. At least that's what I tell myself. Hang in there, dude. Don't let this destroy you. It was not your fault. I wish you all good things.

QP

P.S. Not all older dudes are bad. But an ounce of caution is worth a pound of pain. Also, there are wonderful social workers and such. Mine just happened to be a woman.

 

i'm sorry, but am i the only one who thinks you're completely overreacting? so the guy was a bit of a jerk? so what? plenty of jerks out there to be so thrown off about it. report him, if you think that's the right thing to do, and move on with your life. this was probably nothing personal, that's just the way some guys are. doesn't mean every gay guy is like that. there's nothing confusing about this thing.

 

I told some people. Not sure exactly what happened, but he's going to be out of the position starting immediately.

 

Interesting isnt it, if this was a tale of an 18 yr old annorexic female getting felt up by her counsellor in his bedroom, you wouldnt have replied like that

In fact it probably would have ended up on the local news, guaranteed though that cos this was a gay guy its going to get all hushed.


The annorexia thing is pretty trippy, starts off they get to an age were every single person starts to look at them differently, all guys pull the angry face, all girls pull the bitchy face to try and hide their true feelings. Annorexic girls get it in their heads that that means such a pretty girl shouldnt be so fat, annorexic guys get it in their heads that that means such an effeminate looking guy shouldnt be so fat. They drop the weight get down to looking like they've just come from a concentration camp, then all those looks from ...every...single ...person change to looks of pity and warmth. Thus they get rewarded for it. And even though they've got a whole bunch of people telling them they should eat something, doesnt matter, its the way that people look at them that matters.

Parents have an effeminate gay son, a little pissed off with that, a little distant, angry faces all the time, a couple years later he looks like a stick, and they are giving him much more attention, crying and telling them how worried about him all the time, want him to eat stuff. But he knows full well if he puts on weight again, they are just going to go back to be being pissed off haing a gay son, rather than all the compassion they are showing for an annorexic one

I'll say again, I dont think this is about the incident itself, more the maths of it, if everywhere he goes, every guy gets angry with him or tries to make him do stuff, almost every girl gets bitchy at him. Gets the same thing from the GLBT counsellor. Then it becomes "Oh, for fucks sake, is there one friggin guy in this world thats not going to get stupid or try and hit on me?"

As for the counsellor, may seem a bit harsh, may seem like not that big a deal. But the main reason they have GLBT specific ones, their main job is to be the last defense against suicide. And if he's going to from time to time have the most extreme cases coming at him, then his place, his bedroom, should not have friggin entered the equation

 

Although I disagree with most of your posts, you're absolutely right with this one. He probably would have thought it was a big deal if it had been a female in the same situation as the OP. There usually seems to be a bit of amusement or bewilderment in cases of sexual abuse were the victim is male. The exception is if the male is a child. But once a guy reaches the age of about 15/16, the attitude suddenly changes. One would find it difficult to imagine that an 18 year old male could be sexually assaulted by one man. Whereas if it was an 18 year old female, the reaction would all of a sudden be one of horror.

I also think even if this were to make the news, a link would be made between the councelor's homosexuality, and the assault. When a guy sexually assaults a woman, you dont hear the reporter going "so and so, who was a straight male", but if the attacker is homosexual, that is always referenced as if it has anything to do with the crime itself. When a straight person commits a crime, its just they've commited a crime. If it was a gay person instead, a correlation would be made between the crime and the person's homosexuality.

 

Please Allow Me To Quote Part Of Your Post *no6* In The Gay > Bi > "Am I Attracted

To Guys Or Not" Thread....



[ Quote:- "Take chances, make mistakes"! And don't think about it too much.

Go with what you feel, not what you think. Life is weird. Enjoy the

frivolousness. :-Un-quote]



Perhap If You Were To Take On Board The Advice You Give To Others,

The Whole Ugly Incident With The University Counsellor Would Not Have Occured....

Just A Passing Thought....



Cheers Glen.

 

totally agree with that!!!

yup.. you can't really trust anyone unless they earn it... (and having a professional label, doesn't necessarily mean that trust should be automatic) that's not to say we can't go around not feeling trust, just don't act on it unless one feels safe...

it's such a shame we have to be so vigilant, but yes, i agree with orison and you raz and yarapario.... it's just a reality that we have to take into account if we are to keep ourselves safe...

 

yup... sad but true...

 

you all think you know me so well.
actually, if it had been a female in the same position i would have answered exactly the same. why would there be any difference to it? and the reason i answered like that was, if the same thing had happened to me, i wouldn't have made such a big deal about it.
somebody equating all men to that level and wanting to start cutting themselves after such an incident---that is overreacting, whether it's a guy, a female, whoever.

 

Because as I said before, a lot of people find sexual abuse where the victim is an adult male to be a matter of amusement and bewilderment. It is generally not viewed in the same way as sexual assault on women. I dont think it's overreacting at all. Okay, he wasnt raped, which would have been far worse, but if you've already got issues with trust, then something like that can definitely make it worse. A lot of women find it hard to let a man get close to them after being assaulted, so why should this be any different?

 

There are a whole lot of differences between men and women, so many that nobody has any way of explaining it, but from what i have learned from talking to people i know have been raped, this is kinda how its "works". Brain functions are very different from man to woman, so in the same situation the will almost always think differently. But the nice thing is that no matter what you only need to think different to react different.

I strongly believe that cutting is some of the biggest bullshit i have ever heard"; bf brakes up with me, cut myself, parents are being.... parents, cut myself, i get stuck in traffic, cut myself. why? does it change anything? no, does it make you feel better? not really. Does it make me think your a sniveling bitch? YES (sorry about all this, i said strongly)

If you hate this man so much than ratting him and watching him go to prison would make you fell so much better than bleeding allover yourself. But since it just sounds like the man was coming on to you, well i think this is being made into way too big of a deal, and you ruined his life.

 

but why do you people attribute other people's opinions on me? just because some other people discriminate on the basis of whether it was a female abused or a man, does that mean everybody thinks so? what gives you the right to tell me what i think? you don't know me. you don't know what i think about different things.

this is fucking ridiculous people. i don't even think i wanna come back to this forum again. it's supposed to be a collection of free-thinking liberal minds, but you're starting to be no different from the other narrow-minded people out there. what's the point of me coming here, giving my opinion, when you tear it apart and tell me that i didn't mean what i meant but that i meant a completely different thing. some of you have difficulty deciphering individual subjective viewpoints so you attribute the mass media opinions on them. guess what?-- i don't think like the mass media that twists the facts and stories to make them as sensational as possible to accumulate more and more money. i have my own private opinions and you have no idea what they are until i reveal them to you. you can't start telling me what i think because that's the only way for you to make sense of things.

you're doing exactly what you complain other people doing to you---that they treat homosexuals differently from heterosexuals in the same situations. you do that right here by assuming that because other people have a tendency to have certain opinions then i must too.

Vanilla Gorilla did that on another thread here where he said a guy who said he didn't like certain guys meant that he in fact did like them and wanted to screw them. now he prescribes me what i think about abused women, without me ever being involved in such a discussion here on these forums to say what i think about that.

you don't need people to come on these forums to tell you what they think, you do the work for them telling what they think without knowing the person or their opinions on the matter. you are discriminating just like those people are discriminating who won't allow gays to marry, who won't allow gays to adopt, who discriminate gays on a daily basis.

 

If you want to cry about your feelings go make your own thread. And if you want to leave the forum, just go.

 

this isn't about my feelings getting hurt. this is about me being attributed opinions not my own. you try it once and see how it is.

 

Either the thread gets back on track in a productive manner or it gets closed. The differences of opinion are great and thats what this should be about...personal attacks don't work.

 

counsellors are not supposed to "come on to" their clients, because of their position... i don't get how you can say LG may ruin the pricks life, when the come on was not appropriate... surely the prick ruined his own life?...

 

i agree with this. we don't even know in what context did the coming on took place. did he just pat his leg? did he try to take his clothes off? did he grab his dick? did he try to force him or hold him down for sex? what? and why did LurdGanaro go to his place in the first place (unless the counselor had a bed in his office)? he didn't find that a little bit odd at all? again we don't know anything about the counselor either. maybe he liked him and tried to express his feelings to him. maybe he did just want sex. maybe he made a mistake. we all make mistakes. it might've been one innocent little mistake and now it's gonna cost him his job.

 

he said it was unwanted touching... people who have been sexually abused as children are vulnerable individuals, so often don't react immediately to "odd situations"... any professional will know that to touch the OP in any way is a no-no professionally... what is more, it is not appropriate for a professional to express his feelings towards the OP...

yes, we all make mistakes and it is up to us to pay for them, not dump them on someone else... he loses his job? well, good!

 

Exactly correct. If it had just been a guy the OP had met in a bar or somewhere who had came onto him, then that would be completely different. If a counsellor is trying to hit on you when they are supposed to be giving you support in a professional capacity, then that is unacceptable and wrong. It was not appropriate for the counsellor to do what he did, end of story. So if he did lose his job, it would be his own fault.

@Tiny: Of course there are differences between men and women. Only a complete idiot would think any different. But rape is rape, and sexual assault is sexual assault. No matter the gender of the victim.

@Meridianwest: I wouldnt take to heart Vanilla Gorilla putting words into your mouth, he does it to everyone.