Could you be in a plural relationship or marriage?

Blues....do you guys go for another woman or another man? or does it make no difference?

 

As far as having a close relationship, it doesn't matter. Hency polyamory not polysexuality. The focus is on love. We are open to loving someone else, potentially on all levels, depending on how the energy flows. As far as sexual preference, he's pretty much entirely hetero (we're too open and undefined to say absolutely no to something) and I'm mostly hetero and open to being with a woman. The relationship we had before was with a woman and we were both involved with her, although she and I were sexual only during threesomes. Not that we had a rule about that or anything, it's just how it turned out.

We're not really into rules, but instead want to honor the energy and create an opening for it to flow in whatever way feels right. As ong as we all loved each other then it wouldn't matter if all the partners weren't equally sexually involved.

Of course what I just described is for live-in situations. When it's not live-in we're more lax about the nature of the connection and can enjoy something that's not all-inclusive. I hope that makes sense.

 

We've talked about it before but what seems more natural is the jealousy and insecurity than the desire...for me. and apparently for him too. he has gotten jealous at things he saw me write on here before....thats why I toned it down so much. Which sucks sometimes because I have a raw sense of humor.

I'm not judging but just curious as hell. how did things end in your situation?

 

I think jealousy and insecurity only seems natural because that's how most people feel and behave. But most people are driven by fear. That's all that jealousy and insecurity is... fear. Fear isn't really a "natural" state, although it is a common one.

In facing my own jealousy and fear I've had the opportunity to really go deep and shine the light on the truth of it, to discover what the fear really is, what thoughts are driving it, etc. I don't think I'm necessarily 100% free of fear (jealousy, insecurity, etc.), but it's not the predominant emotion that I feel anymore and I can definitely deal with what comes up without venting it on others.

There have been many instances when he's become involved with someone where I felt absolutely no fear or jealousy at all. In fact just recently I went out with a woman that he had begun seeing one night (just the two of us, as friends) just so I could let her know that she had no reason to be uncomfortable with me and that there was no weirdness there on my part. This was a bit new to her and she couldn't quite wrap her mind about the fact that I wasn't pissed off. LOLOL!

It's wonderful to be absolutely free like that. I don't have to tone down anything, and neither does he. He and I absolutely adore each other and it shows to everyone we meet.

The way it ended up with the woman we were involved with before is that we went our separate ways and ended communication. Basically she left, and we stayed together. It became too dysfunctional to continue. Back then we also weren't nearly as peaceful and "wise" as we are now. Like I said, we've learned alot and have grown alot too since then.

 

Oh believe me...we've talked about going through fear before, you and I. It's always so funny discussing something with someone because you respond and I think, "I see it a bit differently now." And so then it looks like I am changing a portion of what I am saying.

So here is one of those moments. I think I have more to move through within my own being before feeling comfortable with a situation like that. And so does he. Though again, we have discussed it. To him, life is sexual and so it would be a matter of being apart of everything. Perhaps one day. Then we will come out there are ravish you guys

 

Haha! :cheers2: