Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Samhain, Jun 2, 2004.
i'm feeling a bit off
anyone know a good joke???
Did you here about the cross-eyed teacher?
She couldn't keep control of her pupils
Cheer the hell up!!!!!
don't get that one is it one of those sereal ones??
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.
"Hey, nice tie!" comes out of nowhere. He looks up at the bartender to see if he had said anything, but since he was on the other side of the bar the man just ignores it.
"Hey! Nice shirt!" The man looks up but, again, the bartender is engaged elsewhere.
"Hey! Nice suit!" The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he keeps talking to him.
"It's not me, it's the complimentary peanuts."
Nope. Just telling you to cheer the hell up.
when a man died and went to heaven he asked god why there where all these people sitting in a big house on their own.
and god said 'don't worry about them my son, they're christians and think they're the only ones here'
I think its nice we've reached the point of empathy
It was only a matter of time.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
A sperm swims up to an egg and says, "Hello egg. I am a sperm." and the egg says, "You idiot, I'm not an egg...I'm a tonsel."
I know i feel fairly moved, i have a lump in my throat, so you busy later?
I'm free and have a lump of my own.
I already have a lunp in my throat is that a problem???
one lump, or two?
Q: What does Popcorn and an officer with a busted condum have in comon?
A: Almosts every Kernel is pop.
No booing allowed.
4 Doctors were talking shop one day...
An Israeli doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."
A German doctor said "That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks."
A Russian doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another and have them both looking for work in two weeks."
The American doctor, not to be outdone, said "Hah!
We took an asshole out of Texas, put him in the White House and half the country was looking for work the next day!"
*Official Memo from the Office of HappyHahaGirl* Attn: Samhain06.02.2004Re: Could Someone Cheer Me Up?
I have thought long and hard in consideration of your request, and have come to the conclusion that I will give you aid for your Cheering Up campaign.
I and the People of HappyHahaLand are delighted and honored to fulfill your request.
P.S. Attachment enclosed
A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says, "Ok, old fellow, time to retire."
The old rooster says, "You can't handle all these chickens . . look at what it did to me!"
The young rooster replies, "Now, don't give me a hassle about this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike."
The old rooster says, "Aw, c'mon . . .just let me have the two old hens over in the corner. I won't bother you."
The young rooster says, "Scram! Beat it! You're washed up! I'm taking over!"
The old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, "I'll tell you what, young fellow, I'll have a race around the farmhouse with you. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop."
The young rooster says, "You know I'm going to beat you, old man,so just to be fair, I'm even going to give you a head start."
They line up in back of the farm house, get a chicken to cluck "Go!" and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farm house and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what's going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM!......he blows the young rooster to bits.
He sadly shakes his head and says, "Damnit, third gay rooster I bought this week!"
Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?
it was dead
Separate names with a comma.