Correcting other people's Children

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Deemed as Normal, Aug 8, 2021.

  1. Deemed as Normal

    Deemed as Normal Members

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    So my niece is three and she's quite the little brat. The other day at a family event she was out on the lawn and she was trying to throw grass at my sister's boyfriend... who was sitting near by. He was chatting with some other adults and just ignored it as he kept chatting with some other adults. He was really too far away to be hit. My sister seemed a bit puzzled as to why he wasn't reacting and starting telling the child to "get him, get him". The child started throwing grass more intensely, with bits of it now landing on his head. He must have been quite into the conversation or something because he still didn't react.

    Anyway, eventually when it was clearly getting out of hand he turned his head to see what was going on. I felt I had to intervene. I shouted in a deep voice "stop that now Andrea or you'll get spanked... you know what that means"! She stopped, but her mother (my other sister) is very offended by this. I can understand why she was taken aback by this because neither her not her husband have ever seen me act in this way. But both of them were near by and were aware of the grass throwing. That sister is now not talking to me or something.

    When do you think it is appropriate to correct other people's kids? Whatever about me giving out to the child, if I was in the place of the boyfriend I definitely wouldn't like I could chastise the child. This fella should have been able to rely on my sister to give stop the child.
     
  2. Toecutter

    Toecutter Senior Member

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    In this situation with the child’s mother encouraging the child’s behavior with her boyfriend, (bonding perhaps)
    He needed to tell the child to stop, or your sister should have when it started getting out of hand.

    Unless it’s directly affecting me I observe .

    Discipline of someone else’s children can be a slippery slope
    “Don’t tell me how to raise my child” …Is a difficult conversation that has put a wedge between family members for years.
     
    HT from CA likes this.
  3. ~Zen~

    ~Zen~ California Tripper Administrator

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    You are correct, the child is spoilt.

    But offering to spank someone else's child is way out of line...

    However, you were correct to say SOMETHING... but perhaps less harshly.

    My response would have been to talk to the kid and say 'hey, would you want someone to bother you by throwing grass at you?' Forcing them to think might be a better long term solution.

    Spanking is not the answer in most situations.
     
    HT from CA likes this.
  4. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood Senior Moment Lifetime Supporter

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    Yeah... I'd be telling all those people to get off my lawn.
     
  5. Spectacles

    Spectacles My life is a tapestry Lifetime Supporter

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    I would ask the child why she was hurting the grass. She might stop and think about it. The only time I might touch someone else's child would be to remove them from a dangerous situation.
     
  6. Vladimir Illich

    Vladimir Illich Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    I would not have that reservation, if a 'spoilt brat' misbehaved anywhere near me, they'd either get a sore bum or a sore ear !!!
     
  7. HT from CA

    HT from CA Members

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    If the mother was encouraging it, then I probably would have just ignored it. However, with my close family and circle of friends, we're very comfortable disciplining each other's children when they are acting up (never spanking, though). It really depends on how close you are and how tactfully you go about it. As another poster said, it is indeed a slippery slope, and some parents will reflexively get offended.
     
  8. themnax

    themnax Senior Member

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    sometimes you need to correct their parents first, because often, not always, but often, that's where their getting it from.
     
  9. themnax

    themnax Senior Member

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    someone could write a whole book about this, maybe even an encyclopedia.
     
  10. Vladimir Illich

    Vladimir Illich Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    I have an arthritic spine anjd therefore suffer chronic pain.On a short flight (90 minutes) last year an annoying little brat was sat in the seat immediately behind me and continued to kick the back of my seat. I remonstrated with him and he continued to do so, so in a loud voice I told him if he didn't stop kicking my seat, I's smack his bum so hard, he wouldn't sit down for a week. His mother finally removed him. !!!
     

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