constellations

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by fulmah, May 28, 2004.

  1. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

    constellations: part 1

    I´ve never seen eyes eclipse their color
    neural paths experience an electrical storm
    an avalanche of elegance in a turn around
    but then she turned around and I mean
    poets sometimes talk to angels
    and afterwards try to write about
    but the encounter is ephemeral
    too much for primitive human minds
    the details dissolve; that was no angel
    just a girl that operates hurricanes
    who doesn´t know the power of winds
    doesn´t know that she got to me
    with one simple little spin

    and I´m not descended from ezekial
    am no witness to unearthly chariots
    gathering mists on mountain tops
    revealing secret political events
    but still,

    I can evaluate a posture
    and she´s not given to exercise
    probably works well into the night
    wishing for a mother who would notice
    that she doesn´t watch much television
    and that big screen bought for a birthday
    only narrowed their relationship, it´s sad


    and she wants to know how I arrange
    the mechanisms that thread her patterns
    so I tell her she´s got a nice tattoo
    a tauros on back of her neck
    and she looks to be twenty-two
    so when jupiter´s lined with pluto
    and mars sits long in the sky
    they´re just dots up there in heaven
    but with ways to connect the lines


    I guess it sounds supernatural
    a vague map into psychology
    this synapse is part of orion
    that tug-of-war is lunar gravity
    but look at this scenario
    a picture worthy of a museums wall:
    the hunter with his bow and arrow
    the bull on the sidewalk
    lost and confused
    a lucky day
     
  2. Fierce_Flawless

    Fierce_Flawless Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    that was actually very interesting. captivating in fact. i'm surprised i'm the first to reply.
     
  3. Funny how as I read it It felt as if it were spiraling down to a point, like the stars wheeling in the sky, or a galaxy spinning in the universe.

    Did anyone else feel that?
     
  4. ArtLoveMusic

    ArtLoveMusic Senior Member

    wow i love it.
    I ma bit fan of the skies and your language here is beautiful :)
     
  5. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

    thanks for the replies, guys and/or gals :D

    that poem was actually one of three that I did, unfortunately I'm having a rather difficult time locating alot of my work right now :(

    take care
     
  6. VanAstral

    VanAstral Member

    well i hope you find them, this one's great
     
  7. littleskinny

    littleskinny Member

    wow wow wow.


    A girl who operates hurricanes
    I love this. It's incredible. :D
     
  8. gesone

    gesone Member

    That was awsome!
     
  9. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

    *grins* I agree with Skinny the whole "girl who operates hurricanes" bit is amazing. And the last stanza is very well written and perfect for the poem.
     
  10. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

    Chaos has a child, a new breed of eve
    and she doesn’t sleep so well at night
    and meditates, relaxes, breaths
    to a rhythm, she knows
    everything’s a rhythm.

    a bathroom mirrors dirty reflection.
    a drivers license photograph.
    an artist rendered her immortal
    painted her a silhoette,
    polarized the cream in her skin
    that dried as darkness described

    a room with too much personality
    filled with projects on the walls
    a chaos collage of her life’s lessons
    that would make her mother proud.
    The detail / attention attached to them
    creates energy, thickens the air
    invades her lungs, manufactures
    late night insomnia imaginings
    in a bed too big to sleep in
    for one little girl
    lost

    And there will come a cavalcade
    with a thunder-clap to sound the start,
    the march of feet a resonance
    to bring about a cannonade.
    They’ll catch her in their cameras
    and they’ll immortalize her name;
    the daughter of the black & white,
    who holds a rod of forest fires,
    a phoenix flare to torch
    the thought behind a stare.

    And they’ll talk about her vision
    study optometry, divide her cornea
    to pull prophesy from the retina
    to predict the fall of empires.
    But look closer, at the color;
    those eyes hold the night,
    hold the depths of a black hole:
    the expanse of incomprehensibility.

    She’s getting tired of answers
    and people that don’t say anything
    only asking questions, unaware
    Of the inherent irrelevancy.
    And as the panic attacks,
    she tries to breath,
    tries to find
    a rhythm
    to meditate to.
     
  11. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

    You had my heart racing with this one!!
    I applaud you especially on these lines
    "And there will come a cavalcade
    with a thunder-clap to sound the start,
    the march of feet a resonance
    to bring about a cannonade."

    LOVED the poem, the message, the chaos, the character, the papparazzi.

    BUT...last stanza is much weaker in relation to your language in previous stanzas. That was a bit of a let down!
    Maybe look into this part..
    "And as the panic attacks,
    she tries to breath,
    tries to find
    a rhythm in the chaos
    cos everything has a rhythm
    to meditate to"

    Feels like you're rushing to finish off the poem!
     
  12. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

    Probably because I've got two completely different versions of this one, both accomplishing the same goals, but the better of the two didn't have an ending and so I kinda whimped out and stuck with the weaker ones ending... I'll rectify some time soon... it's gotta come full circle, somehow, tho!
     
  13. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

    she radiates an orbit,
    vibrates to a rising Jupiter
    highlighting the horizon,
    blotting out better judgement,
    igniting curiosity.

    and it could be
    a chemical reaction,
    the earth’s magnetic current
    or divine intervention that
    contaminates our eye contact
    and takes time off track;
    but clocks hardly matter
    here in freeze frame elation.

    we could hold the moment
    and await angelic guidance
    in form of the miraculous,
    but isn’t it a miracle
    we both were here
    & our eyes even met?
    I mean, I’m sorry,
    I just can’t be convinced
    it’s mundane coincidence

    that here, now, I glide up
    the curve of her shoulder,
    intoxicated on the perfume
    hidden behind her ear.
    I’m on my back, reeling
    in the languid lagoon
    of her cool blue eyes.
    surely, paradise is recaptured
    in mythical romantic accord.
    to remain here, static,
    heavenward, we soar.
     
  14. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

    That would be nifty to see. :)
     
  15. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

    Boy! You're on a roll!!
    I have this uber cheesy grin after reading constellations iii: ascension. Thanks a lot! :H But I gotta say this thread rocks the socks. Very very inspiring and freshly baked with new images even if they carry a similar theme. Most excellent indeed.
     
  16. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

    "Chaos has a child, a new breed of eve
    and she doesn’t sleep so well at night
    and meditates, relaxes, breaths
    to a rhythm, she knows
    everything’s a rhythm.

    a room with too much personality
    filled with projects on the walls
    a chaos collage of her life’s lessons
    that would make her mother proud.
    The detail / attention attached to them
    creates energy, thickens the air
    invades her lungs, manufactures
    late night insomnia imaginings"

    Awesome, loved reading the whole work. These two passages were
    very intimate and I applaud you for them. Thank you.
     
  17. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

    Very potent and lucid

    "I´ve never seen eyes eclipse their color
    neural paths experience an electrical storm
    an avalanche of elegance in a turn around"

    Man, what an opening line.
     
  18. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

    great conclusion, graceful and erotic. thank you for your luminous words... what a magical vibe.
     
  19. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

    thanks for reading, everyone... unfortunately, I messed up and "ascension" is actually part 4 of the uh, trilogy... :) and puts a conclusion to the story. I forgot to post part 3, but...
     
  20. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

    take a deep breath (in and out).
    don’t worry about your vocabulary
    or how many planets were aligned;
    don’t need a star-chart to coordinate
    cause / effect on the fate-line.
    you’ve been dragging around that boy
    who stirred dust storms, left you coughing
    and retreating outside, into torrential rain,
    where you caught cold, then fever.
    guess it goes to show, aquarians
    can’t stand excessive water,
    so that was it: told him
    to get the hell out.

    now you want closure, so here you are,
    sitting on my sofa, drinking jamaican blue
    and frowning cos you forgot the sugar,
    kinda like that tori song
    with the tea-cup and the hammer.
    well, i can’t play piano or pull those tiny strings
    that concentrates connection, but babe,
    you need a shotgun with a shell-kiss
    for all the fuckers out here
    roaming the calendar.

    they’ll say you aren’t old enough
    to go out after dark;
    that pandora stalks the shadows,
    divining the passageways of your heart.
    they’ll tip their tongue with psychological talk,
    cauterize your memoirs into road maps
    full of s-turns and caution signs
    then counsel with a shoulder,
    a tissue paper, a satisfied ear.

    so deal the tarot as a meditation
    and the stories will begin a dance
    of emotional mechanics
    contesting control of circumstance
    and if that high priestess
    doesn’t reveal her measurements
    the sun rises in mourning
    for those with intelligence.

     

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