Confused straight wants to bottom

so I am 28 been straight all my life I never had struggled with women all my life but the last few years I’ve been incredibly turned on by certainly ain men mainly older I fantasize about being a bottom but to the right man & sucking dick not just anyone I kinda feel like I would need/want a emotional connection to do it I’m kinda confused/scared. I like wearing women panties under my regular clothes(haven’t come out) it turns me on so much tho. I’ve never had a gay experience to closest thing was some guy was rubbing my ass in an elevator one time and it was so hot but I didn’t know what to do or how to react but that’s it. I love the idea of beings someone’s slut behind closed doors hanging around naked or in lingerie. Thoughts? Ideas? Tips?
5’10 185 built real good shape have abs

 

I would tell you to explore that interest of yours. Of course if you are not in a relationship with anyone. Chat up with gay men you are interested into.

My tips if you want to bottom is get ready before. Train your ass to take something up your hole. You might consider buying a set of anal trainer buttplug.

Take your time establishing a trust connection with someone. It is highly likely you will be in a vulnerable position.

I personnaly share your fantasm of being a slut and be used by a male I have a connection with.

With the questioning of being straight or not, don't ask yourself questions. Live the moment and get a retrospective of what happened. It'smy way of reflection. An exemple about me is when I affirmed my homosexuality, I was 15yo and never I asked myself if I should be(or not) looking at gay porn, if my behavior was normal, cared about others opinion.

Take it easy and have safe fun

 

It’s always been easy for me , if I wanted to try something, I make it happen. For me the easiest place to experiment early on was adult bookstores w arcades. Now days the internet makes hooking up quite easy , many guys are turned on by the curious.

 

It's just getting them to pull the trigger so to speak. Lots of guys are curious but get scared when it comes down to just a meet and greet. I've been stood up more times than I can count but you just move on and keep looking. It's just part of the game.

 

If I was ever to be with a guy again (there's hope) I think I would want to be the submissive one, and vulnerable. Something different than being the Alpha male with my wife. Someone to show me the ropes so to speak. I'm a willing learner.

 

Is this where we post or this is for replying only?

 

I HAVE A SEXUAL INTREST THAT I THINK IT IS ABNORMAL AND DANGEROUS.

I once met a girl who love phone sex, she always asked me to do phone sex on whatapp. I hate it, but I used to do it for her sake. One day we met and did sex for real but we were interrupted. Before we met she told me she would like anal sex but she is afraid of it and sked me to bring a candle for anal sex since it is smaller than a penis (it was her first anal).

After the meeting and doing, on the phone she said to me I was too soft then she asked that next time we meet she does it on me to show me how it is done. I kinda felt like she is working me because my voice is womanic so I said no but I really would love it if she did that on me, I actually crave for it.

Then next time we do phone sex she said something that really shock me. She said put water on an enema and douche me (douche is an anal thing where I come from). I admit this was the first girl I ever slept with but I don't think that any girl would want to be given a douche. But I liked that so much, What a co-incident I really love doing that I fatasize about it. One of the

But what is so shocking about it is that I don't know if the girl was developing my spirit or what first she want do me with a candle and now she wants me to douche her, my language exactly. I love douching so much and I think it is my abnormal sexual addiction. But I think it is a dangerous game, in terms of health. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE there are some very strong tradditional douche mixtures some of these mixtures can cause different types of sensation in your blood, and using those strong mixtures is what I crave for, highly dangerous though! I think of it as a problem.

There real reason why I wrote about it is 1. I want to know if there is any other person who is sexually arouse by a douche I would like to find out how porpuler is this?
2. I just want to know what comes in your mind about all this and especially about douching with the strong mixtures?.

 

Sounds like you're at least bi-curious. You have very specific interests in wearing panties (I also enjoy wearing panties) and wanting to bottom for another man, along with wanting to have an emotional/intimate connection with another guy. That's pretty specific.
Most bisexual guys are only interested in the cock itself, but your thoughts are very specific.
There's a very good chance you're bisexual, and just haven't had the opportunity to explore that side of yourself yet.
Be careful what you wish for though, because as any other gay/bisexual guy would tell you, cock is addictive