Confused girlie

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by RedLotus, Mar 19, 2008.

  1. RedLotus

    RedLotus Member

    Ok so here is my deal, i had been dating this guy for a short time, but it had gotten really intense and very serious extremely fast, neither of us had a problem with it. With out going into details of his personal life, things got very bad for him very quickly. Nothing to do with our relationship. But we decided that until he could get his shit in order, we would go back to casually dating each other. Here is where my problem beings. Totally in love with my man, and cant wait to be his wife one day. But then he tells me that while i'm waiting for things between us to be good again, i should go out and have sex with other men, not date them, just get what i need form them.

    This has confused the crap outta me hardcore. Do i go out and fuck around free love style till i can have my man back 100%? Or will doing this screw me over in the long run?
  2. Fuck the shit out of whoever you want. If this is the man you want to marry you'll never have this opportunity again, and you'll probably be locked in soon. My advice is have casual sex as much as possible with whomever you want, try all kinds of kinky shit and fetishes (especially those that involve multiple partners) because you might not be able to ever again if he's not into it. Just go buck wild and get it out of your system while you still can.
  3. sophieclair

    sophieclair Senior Member

    I suggest go buy a toy and wait for him. This might also be an excuse for him to go and fool around himself.
  4. Stevie2Wonder

    Stevie2Wonder Member

    If he said to go date other guys, then go date other guys, but try to find out if he is saying that so he can bang other chicks.....definitely get it out of your system while you are young
  5. Chainz

    Chainz Member

  6. TomDijon

    TomDijon Member

    fuck these other idiots, proffessor groove is right, listen to him.

    as long as you don't brag about your sexual adventures to your man, then who cares? play it by ear, maybe it would even be a turn on for him....
  7. byron1

    byron1 Member

    if he says go meet other guys, then dump him completely, he is not worth it and will eventually ruin your life
  8. jaigurudeva~

    jaigurudeva~ Member

    this message and others like it are true.....

    he's probs saying it to test you out (maybe)
    or so he can bang other chicks (more likely)

    but if you dig him THAT much, wait.

    If there's even a shadow of a doubt tho.... dump him with the reason that the comment of you w/ other guys just confused the fuck outta you.
  9. Dallas14

    Dallas14 Member

    you shouldn't be asking this to people on a forum, what would YOU be comfortable doing?
  10. sg girl

    sg girl Member

  11. Peter Popper

    Peter Popper Tripper

    personally i would never let that happen to a girl i cared about. i couldnt stand to think that another guy was fucking my girl. if it happened i could never be with her again.

    when it got all serious he was probably like "oh fuck" , and wants to sleep around some more. and is letting u too.

    but yeah i could never let a girl i cared about fuck some other dude. i would be soooo full of rage and would fuck her off and call her the biggest slut. but thats just me.
  12. he probably doesnt want you to actually go out and just fuck random guys, he's probably just saying that so he doesnt feel like he's keeping you from anything
  13. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    I'm thinking the same thing... Well, as a matter of fact, I've been in a similar situation in the past where I broke up with my then-partner when I found out I physically couldn't be with her for extended periods of time. It really is a long story so I choose not to get into the details, but I thought very hard about the situation and decided it would be best to end the relationship.

    I tend to do shit like that; if something bad happened to me and there was a potential of my partner's life's being altered in a negative way because of it, I tend to just back away in the hope that she would move on without having to deal with MY shit. I don't get into a relationship to have my girlfriend solve my problems. I'd rather she enjoyed her own life while I was dealing with my own shit.

    Of course, I'm not the OP's boyfriend so the same thing may not apply to her situation. Maybe the guy is just using this as an excuse to break it off with her, but then maybe not. The OP is confused, and she knows him firsthand. It REALLY is hard for any "outsider" to determine the true nature of the situation. We can only speculate.
  14. nakedman55

    nakedman55 Member

    Have you had a serious conversation with him and asked him to explain why he is asking you to fuck other guy,s? tell him you need to know how he really feels and why.. I am married to a wonderful woman whom I love dearly, and I would be thrilled if I could get her to fuck another man with some boundaries of course, but she does not want to, her choice, but it is a real turn on for a lot of men. I do believe you need to have a solid relationship and no jealousy issues for it to work out.
  15. Your getting a free pass to screw other people? What's so confusing about that...?

    Marriage = sex with one person

    You not taking this offer = fuckin' loco my friend.
  16. Ddoright

    Ddoright Senior Member

    I know I'm and old fart - but really - what this says is I don't care who dumps their semen in you - it's no big deal. I guarantee, it would be a huge deal for me. If you want to date around to be sure the relationship is really what you want - that's cool. But fucking - no way man. He doesn't care for you much at all. Dump his ass. Find someone who cares whether another guy has got his coc* inside you.

    Man - what an asshole he must be.
  17. Ddoright

    Ddoright Senior Member

    You're shitting us right - this is a joke isn't it?
  18. Imagine11

    Imagine11 Member

    This is all just my opinion, I hope it's helpful. I feel some of the people who advised you to screw around are behaving like morons.

    It will definitely hurt your relationship in the long run to have sex with other men now. If you like him that much, you should wait. You didn't say much about his problems, but if he is depressed, then what's going on is that he feels he's not worthy of you.

    That means he really likes you, but feels he isn't good enough for you right now. You should make it clear that you love him this much, and you expect him to exercise every day (this is not trivial; it really makes a difference), take care of himself. Also, you expect him to take care of your relationship, in other words, you shouldn't be the only one working at it.

    Then, if he cannot do these things or won't, and you choose to move on after giving it the best shot you can, you won't be sleeping with other men with his permission; you'll be moving on to find someone else who is worth the love you have to give.

    You really love this guy, so the only course of action is to give it everything you have, and know you really tried. If after all of that it doesn't work, you'll be able to move on without having to wonder if you should have done things differently. Good luck.
  19. revvdup

    revvdup Member

    *grabs the popcorn*
  20. Fastswitch

    Fastswitch Visitor

    Dallas is on to something - but there are guys who think that way and want what's best for her. Tell him that screwing around is not for you, your love and life! A good line would br, "screwing anybody else wouldn't be sex." Let's face it, in his own way he is trying to be kind. Between masturbation and hard work you can make it. He'll realize how much you love him and you'll feel a helluva lot better about yourself! (He's in jail isn't he?)

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