I hope you will help me without judging me. I am 55, and married and deeply attached to my spouse, I have also harbored feelings for men, though I have had sex with a man only once. To get a historical perspective, I developed ED after several years of being a diabetic and the usual gang of three - Viagra, Cialis and Tadalafil have stopped working, I don't know if this has anything about my feeling like a bottom, but I have a deep desire to find a man who will be a top and have sex with me. I have no plans to be out - for it would ruin my marriage. What I am confused about is: every time I find someone that will have sex with me, I chicken out at the last moment (guilt?), but it doesn't stop there because the urge to have sex with a guy, with me as the bottom returns soon. I am so confused. Is there anyone who has had similar issues? Or are there a bunch of people who can throw some worldly advice? Anything would help!!
Good luck but I wouldn't advise seeking this out without your spouse. I'm bisexual but I just see that as an attraction to either side. I wouldn't have sex with anyone, male or female, without her consent. Being bisexual does expand your view of beauty but it doesn't give you the right to cheat on anyone.
I've yet to chicken out. And I have a deep urge to want to be a bottom. If a man were behind me with a hard cock there's no way I could back out. Back up, maybe. But never back out..........
My first time, the whole car ride to his place I kept saying to myself I can't do this. Kept thinking I can turn around. Finally I thought I'll go there and make a final decision. Waited on my car for 10 min debating. Finally said go for it. It was awkward at first but when we started I was totally into it. By the time I was on all 4s and felt him behind me I couldn't help thinking I can't believe it's happening but by then it was nervous excitement. When I felt him start to slide in I was kind of giddy thinking I'm not a virgin anymore. There are a lot of feelings going on with something like that and I've come to realize that there should be.
I've just recently got divorced , we had been married for twenty years , but living like roommates for the last five. I had been into anal stimulation for a long time , but she wouldn't go there . Brought my first dildo years ago and now have a great collection . Until a couple of years ago the thought of another having sex with another man did not enter my mind . Then one day it happened , quiet a few months ago I had the opportunity to give a blow job to a friend I thought why not , so I went ahead ....mmmmmm. Couldn't stop thinking about it , given a few more since then . About three weeks ago I met a guy on the beach ( nude) we got talking , nice bloke we met again the next day. I was in a bit of pain from my back so he suggested he give me a massage back at his place , so of we went . I was a bit nervous but after twenty minutes of a very good massage things got a bit steamy I could feel his cock against me I opened up and let him enter me , wow what a feeling . I've been seeing him ever since because it feels soooo good.
