I've been "curious" for quite a long time now (I'm 22, started thinking about guys sexually when I was about 15), and the thought of sucking someone off always turns me on, as well as kissing and other things, but especially sucking someone off. However I hardly ever find men attractive, in the sense that if I see a guy on the street I don't automatically have sexual thoughts and don't "check him out" like I might do with women sometimes. I've had sex with one guy, about a year ago now, and I found it fairly enjoyable despite being quite nervous, up to the point where we had anal sex, and I'm not sure whether this is because I just didn't like it or he wasn't very good (he wasn't, his dick kept slipping out every 10 seconds or so and he had to stop to slip it back in again). I haven't experimented again since then because I was just a bit put off by my first experience, as I'm genuinely unsure whether I will enjoy it or not. Does anyone have any advice for me? It would be greatly appreciated!
Well, you have many years ahead of you with this question. As your sexuality flows from more hetro, to more gay, and back, the question may change. Then, about 15 years from now, you'll stop worrying about it and just accept it for what it is, your sexuality. If your sexuality is ebbing towards gay, you will probably enjoy the gay sex more than while you are feeling more hetro. I'd like to help but many of us have been where you are and we all have to grow and learn at our own pace.
You may want to take a bit of more laid-back attitude towards sex. We all want to get laid, one way or the other, so we are hanging out here, there and everywhere. Till we score, and move on. Sex is great but it does not really change anything profoundly. If you want to suck a dick, go for it. Learn to shrug away your previous experience. It was OK? It did not quite work out to your fullest satisfaction? Fine! Move on. It was just one sexual encounter. And no one has promised you a top performance either Remember that not everyone is sexually compatible with you. Remember that a few people may have had a bad day. Remember that quite a few people are just very average in the Sexual Department. And last but not least, try to give some, and get some, too. Very few people out there are ever going to be focused on your pleasure. KD
Did your first experience with a girl go great or did it improve with experience? Same sex is no different, you learn what you like through experimenting.
I understand your feelings. In this world where the natural is condemned, we get anxious when we aren't beholding ourselves to fake values to keep face. Maybe go to a gay club of some kind or just socialise with people you like as friends who are part of the LGBT community. I have been in your mind frame and from experience, it is from our personal insecurities created by society. Try not to worry about it. As you become comfortable with who and what you are, you will naturally start to see people attractive regardless of gender.
