How do YOU typically resolve conflict in your life and to what extent if any has this changed with age & experience? Do you, for example deal with conflict confidently and assertively, avoid, get passive aggressive or maybe eveb inappropriate!? What say you?
It really depends on the conflict that I am having, and who the conflict is with. Some folks are just unreasonable, and there isn't much benefit in trying to resolve certain conflicts with them. For the most part, however, if I am sure that my perspective is reasonable and that the person I am in disagreement with is also willing to listen, then going directly to the person and having the uncomfortable conversation is best. Most conflicts can be avoided if you just communicate well and openly from the beginning. Time turns small misunderstandings into psychotic burning resentments, and those are much harder to undo. When I was younger, I let disagreements go--I never really brought them up and I would just grind my teeth and allow the other person to get their way, for the most part. Or I would just ignore them and continue to do what I wanted to do. Now, I tend to take a more systematic approach to solving interpersonal issues.
It depends on who with. I have learned to avoid conflict by saying "ok" a lot. But if it's with my family, I would often rather discuss things.
I cannot stand having some sort of conflict weighing on me so I like to deal with things pretty immediately and head on. I can be pretty blunt, I'm not that great with sugar coating things which can make things worse sometimes....but I also get over things very quickly. Once I've expressed myself and the other person has expressed themselves, I'm over it and moving on But this^ only pertains to people with whom I'm comfortable. With people I don't know very well I tend to just avoid and sweep under the rug.
I tend to shut down. On a subconscious level I even get a little passive aggressive. I'm worried about being overly emotional, making things worse, or saying the wrong thing, so I'd rather just avoid the person I'm in conflict with. It annoys the people in my life because they wanna talk things out and I'm like "yeah, I just need to pretend you don't exist for a few days" It's just how I deal
For me I'd say as a kid aI used to be pretty aggressive (got into lots of fights as a kid), as an adult I tend to be passive or assertive depending on the situation & my mood.
I go and seek some advice from a psychologist if it is tough. If i can handle it, i will give my strong thoughts. If it is somewhere in between, I'm autistic, So i will probably have a tough time trying to process most of the info being spoken to me about. That being said, i'm somebody that can lose my shit easily. When i say easily, i have a short fuse. As i said though i'm autistic so i do have to be aware of how far i take these matters. I don't like to have any meltdowns but really if i can't understand something i do and can get frustrated easily. When my natural mother was alive (she sadly passed away in march this year), she used to belt the crap out of people. If a bloke come up to her and told her off about something she'd kick him in the nuts and get violent. Sort of the stuff i wouldn't want to do to anyone.
