Condom etiquette

I’ve only used them a couple of times but one thing that I feel is never really covered is what is the etiquette when cleaning yourself off? Is it acceptable to finish and then immediately excuse yourself to the bathroom to dispose of it and clean up? I know it kind of kills the mood but as a neat freak I really hate the idea of just throwing it on the floor and cuddling in a clean bed with a damp cock haha

 

Don't break the mood. Get into the afterglow with your partner and enjoy it. There's always time later for cleanup. Once your penis becomes flaccid you or your partner can slip the condom off and drop it in the nearest waste basket or just set it aside. Residual semen that is still on your penis won't do anything and dries pretty quickly. Hold your partner in your arms as you drift into the remission stage letting her know how much she pleases you. Sex is supposed to be messy. She gets all wet naturally and from added lubrication. There's the exchange of saliva from the deep french kissing. You both sweat as you get further along. Then you ejaculate semen from your penis. If there was no condom it would probably run out of her vagina making the proverbial wet spot on the sheets if that hasn't already happened. In the end the beds a mess or it should be. There's nothing better than holding your partner afterwards in the bed that's all askew, sweaty, and messy from the sex. Give it 20 or 30 minutes, maybe all night, before cleaning up the memories from such a magical moment.

 

I think that it is better to go to the bathroom than to just peel it off and fling it somewhere and leave not clean you self off
There are ways to not kill the mood and get things up again that are way fun too

 

just remember if you do fling it somewhere try to hit a wall and get it to stick so that you can find it later on your way out

 

Hmm...

I see what you mean. I think that yeah it should be ok to politely excuse yourself so the dumb thing doesn't drip semen out the back end all over your legs and whatever blankets or towels are out.

 

Tissues and wet wipes. Never liked using condoms but when necessary I would wait until I softened (some women have told me they lied feeling my cock soften inside them) then carefully withdraw, wrap the condom in tissue then clean myself with a wet wipe. Sometimes I would clean her with a wet wipe but most often licked her clean. Of course, that often resulted in needing another condom.

 

I get out of bed and go to the bathroom, gently removing the condom along the way.
Get a roll of paper towels or soft napkins next to the bed. You can then take off in bed and wrap them there. And it doesn’t lie in front of your eyes and you don’t have to go anywhere - everything is beautiful

 

i would hope so. ripping it off violently sounds like a bad idea.

 

empty i in their shoe ! Why do you not know that ?

 

I recommend staying with her, sliding it off your cock, tying a knot in the end (like an uninflatled balloon) to contain any spill and setting it aside for disposal later.

This breaks the mood less than putting it on did.

 

I totally get it. When I wear condoms I usually remove it and wipe any residue off my dick before cuddling. I don't get out of bed to do it; usually I have tissues by the bed.
Sex is messy but at this point the sex is done. Wiping my wet dick on a girl's back while cuddling seems more like a failure to tidy up than a romantic gesture.

 

One thing I know for sure about condoms is that if you borrow a friends car and when your girlfriend takes it off of you, it is best not to leave it on the dash for friend's wife to find. Just sayin'

 

Back in the days when we had 20,000 of them delivered every month by courier, our daughter (who was about 5 at the time) discovered that with a marble in the teat they made great yo-yo's and when she propelled them above her head, she could play helicopters.

How I avoided a divorce is another story.

 

Play sponkers......
It’s kinda like conkers but.....
Take it and tie a knot in it....
Take turns slapping each other’s face.

If it bursts on your face you fucking lose.
SPONKERS!

 

A leather army boot is the best defense!

 

You could just say no......

 

edit:

hate them but unless you want a kid or std

 

Another condom etiquette tip for the guys:

one partner I slept with, literally forced me to put the condom on him and I wasn't comfortable doing that because number one, I don't have a penis and I've never put a condom on myself and I didn't want to look like an idiot in front of him. So word of advice guys, if a woman is not comfortable do not try to force her to put a condom on you just because you think it's hot. Kind of a mood killer if it upsets her....

 

Fling it on to the floor, lay back with your hands behind your head , and tell your woman to go fix you a sandwich while you lay there in bed with just your socks on

 

Agreed that forcing isn't cool. I get a kick out of a partner who hides the condom in her mouth and then as she goes down over my shaft with her lips the condom magically slides on. When she comes back up there it is. My cock covered up in a nice pink Skyns wrapper. Maybe you could practice with a dildo or phallus and a box of condoms. Learn how to do that. I'm sure your partner would love it like I do.