Concerns and Fears *getting really close*

((((((((((((((HippyFreek))))))))))))))

Love and hope that everything works out.

 

I was telling my HB MW today about your situation and she said that your MW needs to own up to her own feelings. If she's not comfortable delivering you at home, that's her right, but it's complete BS to blame it on your size. She asked if you're in Oregon. She said there's a HB MW there that is known to not care for the fluffy gals.

Are you getting your money back?

 

Well, the state was paying for the care in the first place. Plus, she did give me GREAT support and care up until that final appointment. So I'm not losing anything.

If this new midwife feels that we are okay for a homebirth, I will be emailing her and possibly MAWS about the situation. I don't believe it was quite fair to me to get THIS far and then back out. And if the doppler really was a problem, she should have been trying to find a solution instead of just blaming my size.

 

Wow, I just want to wish you the best of luck. I hope it turns out close to your expectations! I also have to agree with hiring a doula or be surrounded by women, the extra support will definitely help you during labor!

Good luck again!

 

Oh good. I'm glad you're not out any money (((hugs)))

 

Oh, you wouldn't have to worry about that! We just moved, I'm not working, and we have a baby on the way. If I were out any money, you can bet there'd be one hell of a storm brewing.

 

Lol

 

OT (trying to lighten the mood)

Doctor:"This is the machine that goes PING. It's the most expensive machine in the hospital."
Laboring Mother: "Doctor. What shall I do?"
Doctor: "Nothing. You're not qualified."

(My dh did this Monty Python sketch every time I was in the hospital attached to a machine.....funny, ain't he?)

On the serious side, Brighid is right. Despite the dramatic increase in C sections in the last 30 years, neither maternal nor infant mortality rates have decreased much. Probably because so many were just based on readings from machines, not on looking at the mother and the baby. (My first two C sections had nothing to do with machine readings, seeing that there was no baby coming out and the way I actually physically looked (terrible, according to my doc, and how I felt, after 57 hours of labor) was the basis for mine.)

 

I knew you'd get the joke!

 

hi sweetie
first of all, i'd like to say that the term "fluffy" for a BBW is really cute, lol.

anyway, for my daughter's birth, i went to a birthing center and had midwives. she was SUPPOSED to be born there. but, she was backwards, and after some 9 hours of (hard) labor i said i give up and they took me to the hospital. i had even said i would take the medication (which was a major concession for me and says how very tired i was), and the anestheiologist was on his way...whereupon, she promptly turned around and popped out. stubborn thing,she is that way to this day.

it wasn't what i expected and wasn't what i hoped. it was disappointing and depressing to me, at the time. so i kinda know how you feel. i understand that for everyone it isn't this way, but after the first couple of weeks with her i was fine. she was healthy, and i was grateful for that.

good luck on finding another midwife, but understand that birth is not something you can count on coming out as you've planned.

 

Oh I most definitely know that this won't happen just as a want, and even if I do get a homebirth, I could still end up birthing in a hospital.

I just want the chance to try it, you know? I don't want someone to give up on me just because of their own insecurities. I KNOW that I can do this, that baby can do this. And I'd like the chance to at least give it a go, not be given up on before we even get to that point!

 

Okay, so cruising around some fat acceptance sites, I found a website focused on the seattle area, called SeaFATtle.org. On there was a recommendation for a midwife out of Kirkland who believes in fat acceptance. So tomorrow, before my UW midwife/hospital appointment, I also have a consultation with this midwife about my situation. And then, I still have that appointment on Thursday with another midwife about my situation.

And like I said, I'm not just going to give up on the UW midwives. I'm going tomorrow with a laundry list of worries and concerns I have about mine and the baby's treatment in the hospital. I'll want to tour the facilities that I would be birthing in, as well as speaking with as many of the staff as possible. I will also ask for the c-section rate for the facility, as well as a guestimate of how many larger women are given c-sections. I will also fill out the paperwork/registration so that if in fact, even during a homebirth, I must be transferred, there is nothing I have to sign or deal with. I will also talk to them about a birthing plan that we can fill out together, so that they have it on-hand and already approved.

So, I'll let you all know tomorrow how things turn out....whatever news I receive tomorrow, I'll be happy with, just to know I wasn't gypped out of something very special to me...

Oh yeah, my mother CHASTISED me for wanting a second opinion. She accused me of searching for someone, anyone, that would agree that I could in fact have a homebirth, no matter how quacky they happened to be. Needless to say, it upset me just a bit that she would even think that I wasn't considering the best options for myself and most importantly this baby! ARGH! *shakes fist!*

 

Read through this site




http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/

 

I love K-mom's stuff!

I read through that site when I first found out I was pregnant. It's part of what inspired me to try for a homebirth!

 

Okay, in preparation for the possibility of a hospital birth (be it by choice before the event, or by transfer), I created a one-page hospital birthing plan. I did like was mentioned in some other thread, it's only one page and not very fancy. Just some requests. Here's the summary:

Labour and Attendants:

As long as baby and I are fine and fluids have not ruptured, please allow us to labour without intervention or induction. Please, only intermittent fetal monitoring. I also request NOT to see an OB/GYN unless there is a problem or concern that cannot be addressed by a midwife. No IVs unless completely necessary and/or requested by me.

Transition and Birth: NO EPISIOTOMY! This birth is unmedicated, please. I would like any and all interventions discussed with Brian and/or myself prior to them being performed. Would like to deliver in whatever position is most comfortable for myself and the baby. Please allow for the possibility of Brian or myself catching baby and/or cutting the cord. Please allow the cord to STOP pulsating before it is cut. Place the child on my stomach immediately following birth, barring any emergencies. No tests/checks to be administered until one hour after birth. Choosing to breastfeed and co-sleep. Please, no formula or artificial nipples.

In Case of C-Section:
Please discuss concerns and decisions with me fully before acting, unless dire emergency! Spinals and epidurals to be performed by board certified anesthesiologist only. Students can observe. Brian to carry child to recovery after checks and tests.

Recovery and Checkout:

Request to leave within 30 hours after normal vaginal delivery. Please notify me before any pediatric visits. These should occur in my presence. I do not authorize any vaccinations or Vitamin K shots of any kind. If child's temperature is too low, I will kangaroo hold her. No incubators please. Unless jaundice is severe, no bili lights. Nursing and sunlight should suffice. Again, I am nursing and co-sleeping.

Thank you for your care and for observing these requests!

 

that sounds like an awsome birth plan. i really do hope all goes well for you

 

I'd run that by your attendent before you go to the hospital. In some states Vit K is basically a law. I allowed it for my kids, as I knew there weren't problems with it.

The most important thing: Your doctor or midwife HAVE TO sign off on the birth plan. Their signature makes it "legal" in the hospital, otherwise it is just so much paper. Also, it has to be AT the hospital (preferably several copies, one for each departmnet you or the baby may be in) weeks before your due date.

You may also want to rephrase some of it. Maybe instead of NO EPIS....you can say "We request that the decision to make an episiotomy be made on circumstance alone." ect Also, this is something that your doctor or midwife should know LONG in advance of your going to the hospital. The Birth Plan is mostly for the nursing staff, and as they don't do the epis, it doesn't do much good to have it on the plan, unless your doctor or midwife and you have discussed it. In fact, the entire Plan needs to be discussed with your HCP. As well as signed by them.

You might also want to have EACH part of the plan in it's own paragraph. Sadly, hospital personall are busy, and making the plan as easy to read as possible is best and easier to follow.

Did you see my Plan? I can post it again.

 

Well, thankfully, my plan is not needed. Ladies, thanks to your support, I've found a midwife that was more than willing to take over my care.

Not only did she find the baby's heartbeat AND feel specific parts of her, she had absolutely no trouble at all.

She called my earlier midwife after I left to discuss her reasoning for dropping my care, as well as to request my records. Tomorrow, she will call and we'll schedule my first appointment.

I also did go to the hospital midwives. I registered with the Birthing Center, and looked around, asked questions. I met one of the midwives and several of their assistants. And while the midwife was AMAZING, the assisting were very standoffish, no smiles at all. And the HOSPITAL midwife agreed with the midwife from earlier in the morning, that there was absolutely no concern surrounding my decision for a midwife and she encouraged me to take the opportunity to try a homebirth.

SO YAY! I DID IT! THANK YOU ALL!

 

YAY!!!! SO happy for ya! My puters been futzy for the last few days, sorry. I'm so happy you stuck to your guns (my U works!!) and got to try again! I think after you have your baby, I'll feel better about having mine. I'm sort of holding my breath here for you! *turning purple*

 

Two thumbs up, girlfriend!