Think. Okay? What are you concerned about? You just said you grew up in a broken home so you have a good understanding. Now, didn't that make you a better person? So you agree you hafta go through hell to come out right. Right? What were you saying again?
I know what it's like and it's HELL ON EARTH! I don't think it made me a better person, for a long time it made me feel like I couldn't trust men and I also let people in my life that shouldn't have been there and treated me like shit, because I didn't know any better. It took a long time for me to trust people...and it caused a lot of unhealthy relationships Obviously I'm talking to a woman beater, so I don't expect you to understand. Just know that if you have daughters they will most likely go into abusive relationships (like her parents) and if you have sons, they will be woman beaters too...Look at statistics... Grow up and get a life and stop ruining your wife's.
I'm a woman beater. Nice to know. What would complete my life is for my daughter to grow up to whoop your fucking stupid ass.
Yeah, I'm stupid...Uh huh...I'm the one that broke a chair and yelled at my wife. Have you tried TALKING to her, instead of yelling??? It's pretty obvious you have a temper...I'm just someone typing on the internet, and you're getting this angry...I can't imagine what you're like in real life. Your sig pretty much says what you are. I mean, come on, be real.
10 years exclusive and no, i've never tried talking...ever. You truly are dense. I'm probably the coolest person you could ever meet but you wouldn't be able to tell because you are a feminist and think every guy beats on girls.
LOL, dense? No, you just never answered the question before. communication is the key to any relationship, if you can't communicate effectively, then the relationship can't possibly be healthy. I don't know you and I don't care if you think you're "cool" or not. By the way you present yourself on here, it gives me negative vibes. And no, I don't think every guy beats women. I am in a very happy relationship with a man that doesn't yell, call me names, degrade me or hit me or break things because he's so angry. Do you have an anger problem? I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just wondering if maybe taking anger management might help *shrugs*
And, the fact that you screamed in the face of a PREGNANT woman is another huge red flag. She is carrying your child. Any stress that she carries will harm that baby. You shouldn't treat someone that you "love" like that. Period.
I am not a feminist and I do not think it is okay to yell and break things when angry. If my bf treated me like that, we would not be together. If I treated my bf like that, we still would not be together. If you love her, why would you treat her like that? peace and love
I think you should really concentrate on trying to change the ways in which you vent your anger. This is coming from someone who has a hot temper themself. I know the frustration you are feeling. My ex drove me up the wall like no other. No one has ever had the ability to drive me so nuts with the constant complaints, nevermind continous threats of infedility. After a year of living with a relationship like this, I snapped in the end in a way that I am not proud of and swear to never do again as it doesn't solve anything. Sure expressing rage through yelling etc, might temporarily get someone to leave you alone, but it doesn't solve the problem long term. In the case of my ex, we were clearly incompatibable, should have never dated as we were/are far too different and have different desires and needs in life. I wish I had ended things after the first three weeks because I would've saved her and myself a lot of pain. I didn't do that and the only silver lining in it all is that I learned a lot about myself and what I need to change in me to be a better person as well as learning about being far more selective in getting to know someone before dating them to make sure that they are right for me. I'm kind of like most women in the sense that once I sleep with someone, I become deeply attached and this connection with them puts the blinders on me so that I think I can make something work that really never will. Back on topic, you should really think about your actions. Should your wife be more grateful for the good things you probably do and focus less on the negative? Probably Should you ever raise your voice and act in rage like you did today ever again? definitely not Think about your actions and your relationship. You have children together, so it gets complicated because of that, but if you two are not good together, if she pushes your buttons the way she does and you haven't learned to control the way you act when your buttons are pushed, you both are creating a negative environment for a family. best of luck
I was in a relationship with a button pusher as well. I knew why she was pushing my buttons though, and explained to her on a "good day" that when she pushed those buttons, the conversation was basically over. For example, she'd say she's depressed and want me to make everything better. When I couldn't (which was usually the case), everything would be turned around against me, it was suddenly my fault and no matter how calm I tried to stay, she would just escalate, and before long I'd actually get mad. So I'd simply leave, calm down and come back and hope that she'd calmed down some as well so we could talk about what happened and how to make it better next time. Every time this happened, it was never about something that I'd done, it was her projecting her own problems onto me. That little tidbit of insight didn't help matters any at all, though, and it spiraled down from there. Long story short, she'd given me every possible red flag imaginable, and what did it say about me that I stayed in that relationship? That turned out to be the million dollar question... I was the nice guy she needed to fill her black hole of a soul, and nobody can be completely responsible for another person's happiness. So when I failed to do it, it was my fault, you see, and she was doing all she could to make me believe that bullshit logic. She couldn't make herself happy. She needed me to do it for her, and that's codependency in a nutshell. Quality, you can do everything in the world to help her, but she's the only one who can help herself. That's reality, and how you respond to it... well, that's all you.
That is very insightful, dhs and fulmah. Perhaps you should rethink your relationship with your significant other, quality, if this describes her. Bottom line: If your s.o. "pushes your buttons" on purpuse to get a reaction out of you, instead of acting in anger, you could separate yourself from the situation and let her and yourself cool off. Really consider if this is the relationship that you want to have... My bf's ex was psycho and did stupid shit like that and he stayed with her for 2 years until he realized the problem wasn't him, it was her. Luckily, they didn't have any children. Do what's best for you and your family, even if it might mean separating. Good luck. Peace and love
Next time, try not to break items. But I have nothing against shouting at her, if she wont leave you alone. A lot of the girls here come along with their "omg!! to talk to her like that crap" while in reality, if you were a push over, you wont have a girl to begin with.
im sorry that things suck like that. it not anyones fault, most likely.. just people and there is a solution. its nicer then you think. smiles, love n hugs
IF that happens , you know you are being dramatic about it. that you know. i also know i never to shut up as....my mouth is where it truly shouldnt be.
If neither of you can find a way to sit down and rationally (and peacefully!) talk about the problems you have then maybe you need some outside help. Have you thought about relationship/marriage guidance? It might help open up the lines of communication which seem to be blocked at the moment. I agree with previous posters though, when there are children involved and your wife is pregnant then there is NO excuse to shout and act violently (I know it was not towards her but you did act violently). If it was her who was acting that way against you I wouldn't condone it either.
you're lucky she didn't walk out the door and leave your ass. I've only had three instances like that. Once when I told my ex fiance I loved somone else he shoved me against a wall bust cried and it was abusive but for sure understandble. The other two times were in my last relationship over stupid arguments like music or god who remembers what lol and they were both very physically and verbally abusive but he was emotionally and verbally abusive with me before that so my fault for not takign th hint. All I can tell you is marriage counseling but yelling in a girls face is going to get them to leave you (if they're smart like me) or be want you want because they're afraid of you...do you really want either? Respect who she is and she will have endless respect for you. I am horrible in complaining to my bf now the day before my period and he is soooooo nice and understanding and I apologize like no other afterwards because he is so sweet. If he wasn't nice about it I would be a bitch. I'm the sweetest girl in the world when i get the attention I need. perhaps she's not getting enough attention? I know I need a lot. The gy I was engaged to called me several times a day as does the guy I'm with now and it's really the only way things work for me and make me happy so I can make him happy in return. so yeah respecting each other and counseling is what I would reccomend...Good Luck!!!
