Coming to maturity as bisexual......

When you were first discovering that you had sexual thoughts and feelings towards men, as well as women, did you find the attraction to BOTH sexes about equal, or, did you find yourself leaning more towards one gender than the other?

Were you able to act upon these urges towards other males, or, simply, kept that side of you "under cover"?

As you came into manhood, and grew older, did you find your sexual attraction(s) to either gender either waning or waxing, remaining about the same, or leaning more heavily towards one gender?

 

When you were first discovering that you had sexual thoughts and feelings towards men, as well as women, did you find the attraction to BOTH sexes about equal, or, did you find yourself leaning more towards one gender than the other?
Two-dimentional images in Playboy were intriguing, but highly theoretical. However, male sex partners were readily available and very attractive to me. From the very beginning, I thoroughly enjoyed male sexuality, and never considered it a substitute for something else.

Were you able to act upon these urges towards other males, or, simply, kept that side of you "under cover"?
I grew up in boy's boarding schools, so until well into high school, all of my sexual activity was exclusively with other males. I "acted upon these urges" with great enthusiasm, and without even a twinge of guilt or shame.

As you came into manhood, and grew older, did you find your sexual attraction(s) to either gender either waning or waxing, remaining about the same, or leaning more heavily towards one gender?
Yes; over time my gender preferences have changed, waxing and waning, and not simply based upon availability of partners. However, I've never been exclusively heterosexual; there's always been that same-sex attraction.

 

Because I had the good fortune to admit early in life that I had both masculine and feminine traits, I am simply attracted to considerate and sensual people without regard to gender.

As a mature bisexual man, that remains the same. I am attracted to people of any gender orientation who are affectionate, considerate, and willing to share their inner life in one way or another.

 

Fellows:

Greatly appreciate your comments and views; you indeed learn much of great value here.

Outside of the usual "show me yours, and I'll show you mine"-type games when I was in grade school (with two boys my age), I have never had any encounters with any males through my life, up to, and including, the present.

I knew from an early age that I was only attracted to other males, never females.

This never made me relinquish my masculinity, nor exhibit "stereotypical" behavior.

I simply liked males and that was it.

Being bashed by a co-worker/"friend" in 1986, simply for admitting I was gay, still haunts me today.

In the mid-1990's, I DID try to find a life partner via the weekly classifieds in a respectable area daily, but, no dice.

Though my life indeed gets QUITE lonely and FRUSTRATING at times, at the very least, I know I am my OWN man, and do not have to contend with the narrow-mindnesess and bigoted attitudes of less-than-enlightned heterosexuals.

I have tremendous respect for bi men (especially married men) who are open and honest about their sexuality.

It is truly sad, that, even well into the 21st century, there is still so much bigotry and ignorance to contend with, on so many levels.

Being gay in a largely straight society is, indeed, a formidable challenge; I cannot imagine what it is like for a bi married male, what with a wife and family involved.

It obviously requires much courage and honesty.......

 

thepapasmurph:

Greatly appreciate your, as always, honest, open, and candid opinions and comments.

With yours truly, long, long before I even heard of the term "gay" or "queer" (God, I hate degrading labels) I knew I only was attracted to males, both boys and men.

As i grew older, my attentions were (of course) focused on only adult males.

Though there were many men my age I was strongly attracted to, it was the older gentlemen (50 and over) that really piqued my interest (this is still true today)

I, too, had too many "crushes" on male TV and movie stars to count, back in the day.

And, even though I had no interest in women sexually, I DID have "schoolboy crushes" on girls/females (think of the "crushes" that the Our Gang kids had on the lovely and vivacious "Miss Crabtree"!)

But that was it; nothing more, just innocent "puppy love" stuff.

Anyway, if I bi married male IS able to "indulge his gay side" with no feelings of shame, guilt, or retribution, he, indeed, is far, far more fortunate than he realizes.......

 

I have often heard bisexuality as being able to "experience the best of both worlds".

I am sure there is much truth to this; however, from I have learned from bisexual married men here, experiencing "the best of both worlds" is not always smooth sailing, nor is it always a "walk in the park", by any stretch of the imagination........

 

I think I'm a rarity. 50/50.

 

Oh, you prolly want some thoughts....

Next post

 

Next post....

I think there's too much anxiety concerning sex. Too many hang ups and fears.

"What's normal?" What's natural? Is it OK? What will the neighbors think?

First off, fck your neighbors. They've got their own, and I don't care, let alone think about it.

Does anyone here remember PE? Physical Education it was. At this time of year, with winter closing in, we went indoors. Besides basketball we had ropes. Ropes, about a wrist thick. Some of us climbed the he'll out of those ropes. Army Rangers did we climb those ropes, smiling all the way.

We knew what we were doing for ourselves, but could we share it? Too stupid and stuck in old ways of thinking.

 

I remember seeing my best friend's dick. I didn't think anything of it at the time. Memory provides a perspective.

I'm so closeted. We were so closeted.

 

Anyway, I was far more interested in the fat bottomed girls we had at the party

 

Leaning more and more towards guys only now

 

I've never had a crush on a guy. My attraction is to the sex. I don't look at a man and find him attractive as in a partner. I do find some men attractive as in I'd love to have sex with him. My marriage is basically sexless at this point, so I'm certain that plays into it.

 

As gay and bisexual males, coming to grips with our sexualities as we mature, we all find that it is not all "cut and dry"; we ALL "come to terms": at different ages, and in different ways.

I think the most difficult part of accepting your sexuality is asking yourself:

WHY do I like women AND men?

WHY do I like only MEN?

Again, there are no "cut and dry", clear-cut answers to help guide uis through the rough times (and there are many)

I think it is only when we FINALLY accept WHO were are, that we start to see things as they are, with a little more clarity......