Comin Out To Myself Still Unsure

Ok haha so I've had boyfriends in the past 2 to be exact and I was so attracted to them and in love. But over the years I've had dreams about women and attraction and crushes when I was younger I had this friend and we use to make out and like hump each other and it turned me on uhh duh she was female but someone found out and I felt like I had done something wrong I felt bad so I had to hide it. I'm not sure if I'm a lesbian cause I like guys and I can love them and be with them but I think I like girls too am I bi?

 

I’ve only had one bf but cheated on him with women

 

That’s ok you are who you are and there’s nothing wrong with that.

 

You are you, and life is complicated. Don't worry too much about labels that define, limit, and separate us. What's important isn't who you love, it's that you love.
Male or female, your choice. Whoever you choose, may you love fiercely.

 

There is a consensus today that the heteroerotic and homoerotic dimensions are independent of each other and thus have to be assessed separately.

Brad Bowins writes:“Separate side-by-side homoerotic and heteroerotic dimensions appear to make more sense, with asexuals at the very low end of both, homosexuals having higher same-sex motivation regardless of the precise levels, heterosexuals higher other-sex motivation regardless of the precise levels, and bisexuals with variable but substantial motivation for both sexes. Separate homoerotic and heteroerotic dimensions mean that humans have the capacity for both, with motivations ranging from potentially zero to very high.”

1) Assessment of the Heteroerotic and Homoerotic Motivations

a) Heteroerotic Motivation

Obviously strong heteroerotic motivation.

b) Homoerotic Motivation

Check! But how strong?

2) Activation/Deactivation of the Heteroerotic and Homoerotic Motivations

Deactivation of the homoerotic motivation due to your negative experience. But you have recovered from this, and the Activation of your homoerotic motivation can begin again.

3) Social Construction of Sexual Orientation

Contemporary society mainly supports heterosexuality and sometimes tolerates homosexuality. But bisexuality is mostly ignored. This is why many people with a combination of heteroerotic and homoerotic fantasies and/or experiences feel homeless and discouraged from exploring their homoerotic side. Your case is a good confirmation of this.

4) Fantasies

Bowins continues: “Given that the homoerotic and heteroerotic dimensions are separate from one another, action or fantasy relevant to one does not influence the other dimension. In a psychotherapy setting the strength of these motivations can easily be rated on 1 to 10 point scales for both fantasy and actions. Combining the ratings for fantasy and actions will provide a solid measure of both homoerotic and heteroerotic motivations. Given how erotic fantasy is often a more accurate indicator of the strength of homoerotic and heteroerotic motivations, it is suggested that a 2X greater weighting be applied to the erotic fantasy measure.”

Many people agonise because they don't know how to choose between a blue and a black ballpoint refill, and between the line width M and F. The simplest solution is to buy four ballpoint pens with four different refills. Then observe which one you use the most. The solution is trial and error.

Your most important task now is not the choice of one of the currently popular sexual identity labels, but the answer to the question: What do you want to do in the erotic field? If you want to explore your homoerotic side, gain more experience in this area, both in fantasy and in practice. Or decide that you want to settle for the heteroerotic side, because that is a comfortable solution.

P. S.

A weighted decision matrix may be helpful for later decision problems. You ask yourself which characteristics are particularly important to you in a human primate and then compare the scores for males, females or specific individuals that are to be compared.

Brad Bowins: A Four-Component Model of Sexual Orientation & Its Application to Psychotherapy

 

Well I am 98% pure hetero...having said that, 2% of me loves sucking cock! I'm looking forward to engaging in some real, down and dirty, fuck-licking...where I can enjoy a dripping pussy and a wet cock at the same time.

 

What do you like better?

Cock or Pussy?

 

That ebbs and flows, like waves rising and falling; the "bi-cycle".

 

Pussy as I am still waiting to try Cock.. I have wanted to for so long just have never gotten the nerve up yet. I travel a lot and have tried looking in some of the rest areas along 95 just not my luck. also probably not the best options as well. I did catch a guy filming me pee and I can not lie got me a little hard. Sorry if that sounds lame..