Comfort zones and ripping the band-aid off

Sometimes i think small talk means something different in english. That or people claiming such aversity against small talk are thinking of a few specific examples. I mean i know I did have small talk on here with most of the persons who claim to dislike it a lot (except maybe PR, although even reactions to and from him in certain threads have bordered on small talk at times imo)

 

I should say, I dont like small talk with people I dont really know. I dont mind idle chit chat among friends but making forced conversation with someone I dont know that well or don't know at all is beyond painful to me

 

I think of it as when you are standing with someone you don’t know very well and chatting about the weather or commenting on something arbitrary, like “wow, the line to get a coffee is really long, wonder what the hold up is?” “ sure is a hot one today.” Etc. I don’t mind chit chat among people I know. Not every conversation needs to be deep and important. Banter can be fun.

 

@YouFreeMe & @Meliai In similar situations, do you like conversations that just jump in depth on a particular topic?

 

GB taking notes

 

I don't mind when people stay in their comfort zones: it's when they want me to also be in their comfort zone that irks me.

I'm looking at you American social conservatives.

 

This honestly has never happened. I have jumped into deep conversations with strangers at parties but I was drinking so it is hard to say how I would react in sober situations. I think I would probably be intrigued if someone I didnt really know initiated a deep conversation with me

 

Yes, attempting to fulfill my desires to become a Pickup Artist.

 

I feel like there is a buffer period of talking with someone before jumping into deep conversations, like it seems it might come off as pretentious to do it right away. Assuming you know what I mean, it's fascinating that there is such a restricted spectrum of desirable communication between small talk and deep conversations.

 

I wish small talk was centered on the things that were, yes, mundane, but also awesome to talk about: what are your favorite pizza toppings? Did O.J. do it? Top five favorite bands? Do you like the smell of books? Why does Buzz freeze around Andy if he doesn't know he's a toy?

Ya know, important shit...

 

I like small talk, big talk, any talk.

 

I think there is something between chit chat/small talk and deep conversation.. When people associate "deep" with "pretentious" I assume they're thinking like "meaning of life" type depth and I don't think that's necessary.

There's a type of conversation that is the precursor to deep, and it doesn't have to go deep... But also deep can mean deeply interested, where as small talk is what I do with people I have to speak to but am not interested in.

Small talk that has no potential to develop, maybe that's what I don't like.

 

I like interacting with people who are wise but don't always display it. And can be silly and goofy yet remain down to earth.

I've interacted with people who always get in depth about things. After a while they come off as too dry and dull. They are good to interact with from time to time but not all the time. I like people who are more versatile.

 

Yeah. I'm not going to say "I don't like chit chat" anymore.

 

This is a metaphor I often use. The other point is that people who walk into the water slowly sometimes turn around and get out because they think it's too cold, but if you jump in and duck your head, your body temperature equalises and you realise it doesn't feel as cold as it did.

 

Yeah this is true of me as well. Sometimes I just find conversation in general exhausting and would rather just joke around with someone and be silly. I like smart people who are capable of deep thought but I also just love when I meet a fellow silly person.

 

If one can't act silly or stupid for little kids--anywhere---too bad for you. I can't think of any place I feel uncomfortable, so I guess the band- aid fell off years ago. I can talk to anyone--even morons.

 

Recognizable. Especially exhausting in a foreign language!

 

You could get a lot of practice around here.... This state is full of them.

 

yeah, but for me it's usually comfortable. i sometimes wonder how often i'm sitting there enjoying the silence and whoever i'm with is suffering severe mental anguish because i'm not saying anything.