Please be patient with me as I am brand new to posting in a forum. I'd like to ask you men your opinion on this topic that has bothered me so much. I'd like to give a brief background of my relationship with my boyfriend so you the reader can give me a more precise opinion. I'm an attractive sexy, classy, and young looking 43 year old woman. I was previously married for 22 years, left, was alone for 4 years then met a man who I've been with for two years. He is 53 years old and was dependant on Viagra until he met me. He no longer needs Viagra which I cant not for the life of me understand how that can happen but thats another post lol. I moved into his house 6 months ago and we for the most part have a happy sexual life. We have sex almost every night during our entire relationship and I always do everything I can to look my best, smell my best, be as creative and sexual as possible. I have a very high sex drive and love to try new things with him. ANYWAYS to my one little question now.... What do you think if your sex partner closes his eyes during sex? It doesnt happen all the time and most times he wants more light to be able to see him but sometimes he closes his eyes, doesnt even look at me while I'm pleasuring him. I find it very hurtful and makes me feel ugly when it does happen. It happened lastnight. I went to bed before he did, I just got into bed when he come into the room a moment later. The light was out and he snuggled up close beside me and started to pleasure me, well things got heated up, but near the end I decided I wanted to turn on the lights before he got a chance to finish cause I WANTED to show him to notice how hard my nipples were etc etc and well he didnt even open his eyes until the end when he finished all over my breasts. His eyes were open for that. I dont know. Like I said, he has done this sort of thing from time to time right from the beginning but it really hurts me. What do you guys think? Please be gentle with me lol. I am 43 but dont understand a whole lot of love.
I close my eyes sometimes even with really hot women sometimes. For me it's just that I can focus on how something feels, because my brain has less information to process from the visual input areas of the brain. Kinda like how blind people have heightened hearing. --- As long as it's not an everyday thing, him not looking at you a majority of the time and thus failing to meet your needs in the bedroom, I really don't see anything that needs to carry the connotations you assert to yourself just because he closes his eyes 50% of the time. You even said "most of the time he wants light to see" so I really think you're reading into this.
Thanks for your insite monkjr I thought all guys are visual, especially during sex. Well maybe he was just really enjoying what I was doing to him. I never thought that could happen but yeah, makes sense. )
I guess you're only asking for men's opinions on this. I'm a woman and I want to give a response and maybe I can offer input about the men I've been with.. I find myself with both open and closed eyes during sex. Sometimes lights on, lights off (isn't that kind of the same as eyes closed). I havn't really paid attention if I have my eyes more open or more closed during the time. I think having my eyes closed helps me focus more, helps me focus on the sensation. Just like with closing your eyes during kissing. So I've never thought anything of myself or my partner closing their eyes. It's a really nice feeling when both my partner and I have our eyes closed and then open them at the same time. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but if someone is just ALWAYS closing their eyes, it would maybe have me believe that my partner was imagining being with someone else during sex. But to me, closed eyes sounds very normal..
Thanks for your comment RainyDayHype, I shouldn't have said just men. I meant men as mankind lol. God point you make about how eyes natually close during kissing. So true. I guess I'm just reading to much into this. i feel a lot better and thanks guys. I've been hurt in the past and guess my fear is being hurt again by my new man so I try so hard to do all the right things to be his all and everthing he will ever need. Crazy I know,
I am going to add to this. With the lights on I see things, like pictures on the wall, and it might be hard to concentrate depending on my day and such. Closing the eyes might help at times and having them open at other times, like Monkjr said, Kinda like the blind gaining a better sense of hearing because the brain has less other things to process. If he can't look you in the eye when talking to you or say, eating at the table, just being together, then worry, during sex it's normal but not the whole time. If he gets off without the blue pills that's a really good sign things are good for you and him, don't worry about the little stuff.
You say he doesn't need the little blue pill anymore. Maybe you are so damn hot that he has to close his eyes to keep from coming to quickly. It sounds like you two have a great relationship, ask him why and then go further if you still feel you need to. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Welcome to HF and good luck.
I close my eyes all the time during sex because it makes the sensations even more intense. I've peeked sometimes when DH is kissing me (when having sex) and his eyes are closed. Doesn't bother me. If he just shuts his eyes all the time, from the moment you enter the room, that might be odd. You can always incorporate it- blindfold him! Your ego should have gotten quite a boost that he quit viagra since meeting you!
I feel more free in the dark. I'm self conscious. But I close my eyes because I feel like I enjoy it more.
I let my dick do my thinking and I had sex with a 200lb girl once, did doggy, I had to close my eyes just to get some sort of image in my mind of a porno or something. Other then that though, when you look someone right in the eyes it seems to me it makes it way more passionate. So maybe he is thinking of something else? Not trying to make you mad or think he is, Im just saying it could be a possibility. When I get head I close my eyes probably 80% of the time during it. Just like a way to keep a good eurphoric state
Way to TOFTT bud! In all seriousness (thought I'd replied to this thread early but didn't see my response, weird...) OP I wouldn't take this to be anything about you. Closing eyes is natural for a little bit during sex or related stuff. Granted your nipples may have been hard like you mention in your OP and I wish you'd taken pictures and posted so we could judge but there does come a point where eye contact or too much eye contact I should say can also rip you out of the mood. Again don't by any means take it that he's not into you, but like others have said, with your eye's shut off your mind is free to explore what the eyes can't see which is a lot. So don't let your insecurities get to you and don't hold this against him
Perhaps that's part of what is going on about quiting the viagra pills. He could be afraid any distraction would make him lose his erection. My husband loses his erection if he's distracted by anything. It could be a bird singing outside. So, during sex he'll lose his erection and I have to work it back up. It's a delicate balance of 1000 factors to help him have sex. It could be your partner is trying to stay really focused in order to keep going.
Sometimes a person closes their eyes bc it heightens other senses. As long as it does not happen all the time, I would not worry about it. I close my eyes when I want to concentrate on how something feels
I close my eyes most of the time because I feel uncomfortable when I have them open and my partner is staring right back at me.
there are a lot of factors that can come into play here. I like to have a candle or a small light to have some point of reference and be able to see. Anyone that tells you they never fantasized about someone else is probably not telling the truth but for me I have to close my eyes to tune out some of the extra (mess in the room or something else) but most of the time when I am closing my eyes is to regain control and make things last longer. When I am having sensual sex or "making love" it's very important to lock eyes and pay attention. Explain to him that you want him to watch and that you are ok with it. He might think it makes you feel uncomfortable.
