I know this might sound weird, at least gross, to some. But I think there may be a method to classifying farts. Not just my method (see below), but maybe the medical community too? I know I have this relatively harmless fart, I have often from time to time, and it smells (I would say) like stale potato chips. In fact, I once heard some medical guy say, farts do sometimes smell like "stale butter" for a reason (sorry, I forget the exact reason). And that's right! Stale potato chips, or rancid butter. Either description fits. And I think we are all familiar with the rotten eggs one (doubtless, the result of sulfur, in our colon). There also is one, I sometimes get, I call the Beef Bourguignon one. It (not to gross you all out) smells like rotten beef stew, mushrooms and maybe just a hint of wine (yes, all very gross--don't worry, I know). Actually, one time, my paternal grandfather stood up from a chair, and let one loose in my face that smelled like mushrooms. (At the time, my grandfather and I were at odds, over a personal matter. I told my mother about it, but she assured me it was nothing.) And there are, I am sure, a myriad of more. What ones are you all familiar with? And are there any medical personnel on these boards? (BTW, I am drinking tonight (and planning on staying home the next day, FWIW). But I have only had one drink so far. So this is definitely NOT a drunken thread.) Well?
Just When I Thought I Had Seen It All On The Internet, Along Comes jimbee...... :toilet: Cheers Glen.
I don't know if there is any actual classifications but here's something gross....sometimes if I'm dealing with terrible smells at work, I notice my farts can smell like that later uke:
The dead chicken madras The mute ninja (silent but deadly) The divorcer The Fukishima The one that scares the cat And of course the dreaded, oh shit, was so sure that was just going to be a fart
I think Farts would best be classified by sound for a primary classification and then maybe smell as a secondary classification. I say this due to smells of farts tend to have a unique smell specific to the person (not that I go out of my way to verify this statement) like other smells such as pheremones and body odors in general. The fart sound seems to have more of a consistent spectrum of registers. I suggest a method with a system I have developed called F.A.R.T which stands for Flatulence Auditory Resonance Table.
My favorite is the "shart". If you dont know what a shart is ill explain.. its basically when you think you have to fart, and you let loose but its actually shit that comes out instead of air. It's a classic
Good god, I can't believe I'm seriously replying to this but.... Occasionally my farts smell like kraft dinner mac and cheese. Like exactly like it, but when I haven't eaten any.
Wow, you must be the guru of farts then. You would be, since gorillas are known to eat their own poop.
Do you collect, filter farts, freeze them until solid, mix it with some acid, inject them in your veins or swallow them whole? Enlighten me, my guru.
Because I have a life other than marking how much time a commenter responds to a comment, like some people .....
i can't say i've notice my farts having different smells. there's stinky and not stinky, and i always kind of thought that was it. sure, some are stinkier than others, but it seems to mostly just be a greater intensity of the same basic odor.
