Well I don't know what u look like or what she looks like so it's hard to judge if u should just settle lol jk
so there was no crying before she knew about the propose? i mean, man, if it is what i thinking ... if thats it ... i'd dump her right now ... dont waste your time with her
You have your whole life to find a proper mate. If you care for her, and you can manage it, be her friend. Distance is no excuse for disloyalty.
She was crying during the whole convo. Every minute of it when she heard every word that I said, and I wasn't pleasent. But after telling her that, I made something boil inside of her.
I have no idea why she cheated, neither does she according to her. It might've been something that was bottled up inside her. She might've wanted to be the same person that she was before she met me and before she was a bit more calm when it came to parties. I couldn't cheat even if there was a gun next to my head. Loyalty is my highest value. I had so many chances to do so during the time she was gone and not for a second did I think that it would be worth it, nor did I for a second think about going through with it.
She's not the girl for u. U sound like a catch and their is a "good girl" out there just waiting for someone like u to sweep her off her feet. Don't waste anymore time on this one she will only bitter u
This is such a huge headache for me. It's so incredibly difficult to keep a clear head and try to ignore her while she's writing long letters about how she knows what she has done and how she wishes she had a second chance. All of those promises of being herself in front of me are taking an effect on me. I know that I'll be happier without her, I know that it will be hard to completely forget about her but I can't seem to do it. God damn it I wish God would've given me a damn pair of balls when it came to these situations.
Lmao. Thanks for the advice, but in this situation, watching naked women only reminds me of what happened, lol.
Gotta say, once a cheater always a cheater (IMHO) and it is over. She will cheat again. Distance is an excuse she used to justify her inability to stay true. So, live with lies and excuses until the next it happens (there will be a next time) or take your lumps, dump her and move on. Much easier said than done, but it is the best advice
I read all the posts, and good advice was given already... Here's my 2cents though: the way u describe your relationship sounds exactly like how i used to describe a relationship i was in once. I wasn't cheated on (not that i know of) so i'm not talking about the cheating thing, but about everything else : the other person crying their hearts out, the fact that they justified everything they did wrong with "i dont know why i did that but i'm so so sorry, please please give me another chance", the manipulation and whatnot.. I used to "not be able to keep a clear head" and i used to think i'd never be able to move on and forget the guy. But i did, it took time and a few good friends who opened my eyes. And there's a name for those relationships : abusive. I wont go into details to how strong the abuse was in my case, as i think it doesn't apply to your situation, but i know what it's like to put up with someone's bs because u think u can't live without them. About the cheating : u said loyalty is your "highest value", she broke your heart and lost your trust, of course she's going to try and mend that, but if u let her, chances are she'll do it again and again. U said it yourself, if u ever get back together, u'll be suspicious everytime she goes out partying without u.. could u live like that? Also, she knows, she just doesn't want to admit that she was being extremely selfish. Of course. I mean, she can't say "ok i wanted another guy, i treated u like sh*t but forgive me", so yea, it's just easier for her to say "i dont know why i did that, i was drunk". Even if u're completely wasted, u still realize it when u're hooking up with someone, and if u're in love with someone else u just can't do it (unless u're in an open relationship i guess). So its pure selfishness there. If u can't get over the girl, just remind yourself how she didn't spend one second thinking of u while she was in that other man's arms, she was having a great time, u weren't in the picture. U're 21, u really do have all your life ahead of u, and believe me there are better girls who deserve u.
I can guarantee she will break your heart again. You aren't the right type of people for each other. But, the thing is, if you're really willing to go through it again, for some more happy, intimate moments; I think it's only fair for the world to give you its blessing. I'm purposely playing devil's advocate to balance out your soft feelings towards her; you need to try to make a clear headed decision - do you want to be with her, knowing full well that it could happen again (possibly over and over, ever more increasingly) -- that she is just not as domestic of a person as you?
I couldn't go back to a girl who did that to me, especially if loyalty being my most prized trait in a significant other. Regardless, brace yourself for her cheating on you again. Also if you do decide to give her a 2nd chance, get her tested for ever STD/STI possible before you touch her again.
And you did so on purpose. And you probably liked it. And now you come to a forum to whine about how YOU are in tough place. Sounds like you were smothering her and she took a deep breath when she could. Which doesn't justify her actions. But you still need to grow a pair.
