chapter 1

Discussion in 'Writers Forum' started by deez nutz, May 12, 2004.

  1. deez nutz

    deez nutz Member

    This is a story of a woman who explored father than any man had ever dreamed to far away places no one has ever heard about and has made love to the most beautiful of creatures that dwell on this hell bound earth. She was a pirate of both land a water. Her name was Amore.
    Amore lived in a forest among her tribe of people although she was not proud of some of the history of her tribe she loved them anyway. She lived in a house that was built into the trees. A beautiful sight to behold. It had beautiful flowers growing everywhere as well as bonsai trees growing from every direction. Where Amore lived at was in a forest that rested among a mountain top, when she looked out she could see beauty as far as the eye could reach. It was paradise. But Amore's life wasn't always like this, she had to travel many moons and endure many battles to reach this paradise for both her and her people. It all started in America.
     
  2. veinglory

    veinglory Member

    What are you after? What is this? It has some technical errors and hasn't got to the plot yet? Feels ab it like a prologue, which is the part of a story I general throw away before sending out my manuscript. Looks like an interesting character, what time is it set in, what does she do?
     
  3. mkc414

    mkc414 Member

    I think it is a good start, it seems like you are tapping into your imagination. It runs a little short for a first chapter, maybe introduce some things that are interacted with in some way by the character. Keep writing if you are serious about it. cheers,

    mkc
     
  4. deez nutz

    deez nutz Member

    Yeah so it all started in America. Ever since Amore was little she wanted to explore far and wide around the world her favorite word was adventure. So like most American teens that want to travel with out money, she hopped on tour with the Grateful Dead. From that day forth as she left out of her family's drive way her life was never the same.
     
  5. MaxPower

    MaxPower Kicker Of Asses

    You've gone from fantasy land to acid trip back to fantasy land and then to modern day America.......

    I like it.
     
  6. deez nutz

    deez nutz Member

    yes my friend the key to life is to make your fantasy a reality, and my reality happens to be in modern day America.Fantasy is reality.Acid is irrelivant.
     
  7. jendi17

    jendi17 Member

    I like it. I would suggest putting a little bit more about the plot in Chapter 1 though. I think you have a good start and it sounds unique to me.
     
  8. deez nutz

    deez nutz Member

    your really smart for only being 15 Jendi. :)
     

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