Casual Family Nudity

I am a 45 year old woman with a husband and three kids, all living at home. My daughters are 23 and 20 and my son is 14 (the baby of the family).

I wouldn't call us nudists since we are never nude outside the house and have no desire to go to nudist resorts or beaches. But we are extremely casual about nudity inside the house with each other, and are very comfortable with our bodies and discussing sex with our children.

I am a stay-at-home mom and am generally naked all day along. I keep a robe handy just in case. No one outside my house ever sees me naked.

My husband is not comfortable totally naked but goes about in his shorts.

My 23 year old daughter is just like me - very comfortable with her body and is naked 24x7 inside the house. But she has a job as a lawyer in training and is away most of the day.

My 20 year daughter prefers to wear a T-shirt or sweater and panties in the house.

My son is a puzzle. He was extremely comfortable nude in the house until he was 12, and then suddently became more modest. He generally goes about in his shorts and t-shirt even tho' my daughters and I have been very open to him about accepting his body as is.

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He's A Teenage Boy..

Teenage Boys Are The Most Complex Creatures On This Planet..

I Used To Be One..........So I Should Know......



Cheers Glen.

 

That's what I figured. He has to go thru' his teenage years and come to terms with family nudity (or not). He is the baby of the family and is somewhat spoiled by his older sisters, especially my older daughter who mothers him constantly. Hope he overcomes his shyness. Just two years ago he was completely comfortable cuddling with his sisters when they were all naked.

 

Your husband wears shorts, your daughter wears tshirt and panties, let him choose and when/if ready it will be his decision. I agree, he's a boy going through big changes and he should be allowed to go through those changes at his pace.

 

Not my scene--but no judgements ,thats for sure*

 

I don't want to give a wrong impression of our family life. There is absolutely no sex or inappropriate behavior of any kind. It's just that we are very matter-of-fact about nudity and are very comfortable showing or not showing any body part to each other. I believe in "growing up without shame" and that's how I was raised, and want to raise my kids. Even my second daughter who remains mostly clothed has no problem removing her panties in front of other family members when she has to (like peeing in the bathroom when someone else is at the sink or shower etc). I insist we lock the bathroom when we poop - some lines have to be drawn.

My only concern is that my son is not comfortable with his body with or without clothes.
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If I may be so bold, I don't think that your son is uncomfortable about his body so much as he might be noticing some "reactions" that have started happening to him at his age. Innocent as you want it to be, to a 12 year old boy cuddling naked with any girl, sister or no, is bound to prompt a physiological response. And while it sounds like you have tried to raise them to respect sexuality as a natural thing and placed boundaries around what you consider to be "inappropriate", the fact remains that boys cannot control much of their sexual response when you start entering puberty and the hormones begin coursing through their veins in earnest! I know from experience that sibling attraction can and does happen even when we know better, and he might just be afraid of some of the things that he is feeling with his twenty-something sisters parading around in the buff.

 

(to barefoot matthew) I'm no psychologists but you may be right, though I hope not. If he is feeling something for his sisters, it's time to have a long, heart to heart talk with him. If that doesn't work, I'll have to insist all of us become a textile family. I absolutely cannot have any inappropriate thought or behavior at home.

I'll have a talk with him when we're alone (and fully clothed) and figure out what's going on in his mind.

I grew up as a single child totally naked in front of my parents all my life, and never felt anything sexual towards my parents. In fact I used to think my father had a particularly ugly body, though I really admired my mother.

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I don't think you should or need to talk to him. He realizes it wouldn't be right and that is why he is clothing himself.

Like Matthew said, sometimes things can't be helped. He will grow out of it and things will be normal - not that they aren't now, it seems like he knows what's goin on just fine.

 

I think I should talk to him. I don't want to alienate him from the family. The two girls are adults and can take care of themselves. I need him to know he is an important part of the family. I'll let you know tomorrow how the talk went.

 

This seems odd. It is kind of wrong that it seems odd. God ment us to be naked but yet it someone seems totally foreign to me. Like the uncircumcised penis... It seems odd and foreign too. We truly are evolving into our artificial environment.

 

Deciding what is best in a family when there are different views is not easy. Ideally I hope you could accept that one or two may be clothed and others not, and their views change over time. I hope you can all be content regardless of the way that you choose.

 

(to Elaine555) no better action than talk to him. The all female environment could be overwhelming for him. His father not being nude doen't help the cause. He may be speculating why his father is like that. Besides, at 12 the hormones start acting and he will be embarrased if he has an erection or semi-erection in front of females. His modesty may signal that he is concerned with not diplaying any sexual signals to the family. Its complex but find out what would make him feel happy and go naked.

 

I think that is what it is. His father told me once he'd be mortified if he had an erection in front of the girls. That's why he has his shorts on all the time. Even tho' I've told him it's OK - its natural and no big deal. I really don't think the girls would care.

My older girl is a touchy feely person and likes to hug and kiss. She is so unselfconscious about her body its beautiful and a little uncomfortable at the same time. She thinks nothing of hugging her father or me with a full body hug when she is nude. Or lounging about on the sofa with her legs spread open reading a book or watching TV. Maybe my son fears an erection. Anyway I'll talk to him soon.

 

Keep talking to both of them. They could be nude but try to hide a bit the erections if that bother them. Your husband running around with shorts is sending a powerful signal to your boy. Nothing wrong with your daughter being so open but she has to understand the dynamics and avoid embarrasing situations. Drawing a line on behaviour in your case is difficult. In one case you dont want to go sexual but in the other ... nature its playing its usual tricks. Its natural. Your sun will have to grow up a bit ...maybe when he is 19 or 20 and has experienced sex with his girlfriends then his behavior will be more level headed. In mean time if your older daughter hugs him with full body and he has an erection ...its too much natural force for him to control. I come from a nudist family but we never had displays of genitals like your daughter do. We were more consertvatives in that arena. I recommend you keep talking to him and try to convince him this is very normal.

 

Actually writing about my family and reading the responses has cleared my thoughts a bit. I think it's not my son I should be talking to, but my older daughter. I should ask her to tone it down a bit. What do you guys think?

 

I think asking her to tone it down a bit would be a good idea; although she clearly had no sexual intent her body position could be interpreted otherwise. With your son, just try explaining to him that erections are perfectly natural, and that if he gets one no-one will mind, or tease him later, just make sure our daughters are aware of this too!

Finally, a big hug for raising 3 kids with confidence in themselves and their bodies. There is so much negative pressure on people to conform now; you are setting your family a wonderful example!

 

I won't tell her to tone it down, as much as I'd remind her that her actions my make her brother uncomfortable and if he does get a erection, then she needs to handle it well.

 

(Elaine55) It could be that your daughter has to control herself a bit when he is around and its itchy. He is also going thru some changes like pubic hair, size, etc. and that is stressful. The sisters should avoid teasing him ... they should wait until he is a bit older for teasing. Other than that I would not worry much and stay emotionally close to him. He could be more embarrased when he discover masturbation. Are the girls sexually active??? -
At 12 he may have a constant erection specially with so many girls around. Let us know how is he doing.

 

Well, I spoke with my older daughter. I'm very close to everyone in my family emotionally and there are no secrets between us. She told me lying nude around the house is her way of de-stressing. She is a part time law student with a full time job in a law firm, so she is in a business suit with tights and heels from 6:30 am to about 7 pm, and always sitting up straight with her legs crossed in the business setting.

When she comes home and on weekends, she wants to kick everything off and completely relax to de-stress. That's why she is nude all the time at home. I understand that. Anyway I am naked most of the time at home, so how can I complain? She said there is nothing sexual at all - in fact I know both girls and I look on my son as a baby still even tho' he is 14 now.

I've taught all my children each person has to find their own way to de-stress - being naked in the house, masturbation in private, or having casual sex with protection when you reach adulthood. My older one tried sex at 18 (with my blessing), didn't like it, said it was more stressful, and hasn't had sex since then. Yes, they share everything with me. She says she doesn't enjoy it and will wait until she gets married.

My younger daughter became sexually active at 19, and has really taken to it. Her boyfriend is our next door neighbor (about a mile away - we live in the middle of nowhere) and they have frequent sex to de-stress. The whole family knows it, her father and I are fine with that, and so are his parents.

I know all three kids masturbate in the privacy of their bedrooms. I think it's healthy. Anyway my older one said she will try to tone it down, but she suspects that is not the problem. I'll talk to my son when I get him alone in the house.
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