Can't Make My Girlfriend Reach Orgasm

Hello everyone,

Need your help, tips, suggestions or thoughts.

I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 months and I haven't been able to make her reach orgasm. I've never had this problem before.
It makes me feel sad, lost, confused and don't know what to do.

My last girlfriend told me that I was the best she has ever had in bed and made her feel like no one else did before; My previous girlfriends always had orgasms and the few women I've dated and had sex with reached orgasms all the time.

I love foreplay, kissing, caressing, rubbing, teasing...then rubbing my fingers on her vagina and clit, love to go down and give her oral sex (which I really enjoy) and after all that, move on to penetration.
When I'm in bed I tell my girlfriend how sexy she looks, that she tastes amazing, that I love the way she moves, that's she is incredibly beautiful; pretty much I tell her how I feel.

When I'm giving her oral sex, there's very little signs of her enjoying like moans or hips movement. I was used to this driving them crazy and really enjoying themselves!. Only when I use my finger to stimulate her g-spot is when there are greater sings of more enjoyment. I've asked her to tell me when I'm hitting the spot she likes and at the right speed; I've given her oral sex and g-spot stimulation for almost 30 minutes after another 20 mins of foreplay...no orgasm at all
She really enjoys penetration and likes it when I do it fast, however I can't keep up the speed she wants for very long because I start to get sore or tired. Our sessions they usually go for one and a half to 3 hours or more and I can't never make her reach orgasm.

Why is this so important to me? because my girlfriend's pleasure is all that matters honestly. For example, if she comes 2 or 3 times during a session and then asks me to stop because she is getting sore or tired, I have no problem stopping and going to sleep or continuing with our day, even if I don't have an orgasm.

We talked and I told her I was feeling really down because I wasn't able to pleasure her; she said that I do pleasure her and she enjoys it. Then I told her that I've never seen her, legs shake, back curve, eyes go white, literally cum or move up and down like crazy when having an orgasm (which I think is a beautiful thing). She told me she's never had any of that before. I don't know if she said it to be nice or is the true. I asked her what she likes and how she likes it but still no luck.
A day later I told her that I don't expect her to react the same way other women did, that I don't want her to reach climax next time; pretty much making her feel like it's okay if she doesn't reach it and that I'm not trying to pressure it.

We have been talking about wedding, spending life together, kids, wedding location, guests, etc... we even saw houses for sale together. It sounds crazy because we haven't been together for that long.

What do you girls/guys think? what can be done?

Thanks in advance.

 

Relax - about everything.

 

ask her if she can make herself orgasm, it might not be anything to do with you.

has she ever even had an orgasm?

 

First of all, it's mega sweet that you're so concerned about it. If she says you pleasure her, then keep doing what you're doing, and don't stress it . She said she's not a dramatic cummer, so just take her word for it.

Have you tried incorporating any toys? If she's more into penetration than foreplay, maybe try a vibrating cock ring. Since you get tired from going fast, try wearing one of those and go deep and slow while really grinding it against her. There's various creams and such that might help enhance the experience for her as well. You might also try using a bullet during oral to try to amp up the experience as well.

 

Pay attention to MAMA!

 

What caliber?

 

Agreed, don't take this as your problem! There's a lot of reasons why a gal might not be able to orgasm - some have never learned, and then there's all kinds of head stuff to interfere. She may have been conditioned that sex is "bad" and she has guilt about enjoying herself. She may have never even experimented with herself. You haven't known her that long, and this is an area to get to know her better. Communication is so important, and I think it is awesome that you want to satisfy her. If she doesn't want to talk about it, then she may have shame interfering. There needs to be mutual trust, that she can discuss this with you. That's a level of intimacy that you'd want with a future wife, right? Just show her how supportive you are and that you want her to feel comfortable enough with you that she can explore her sexuality.

When you are going to maybe spend the rest of your life with someone and this is a concern for you, then you better get it hashed out before the wedding! There are too many couples in sexless marriages cheating because there's problems and no communication; don't be added to the list! Life is too short!

I was never one to read erotic novels, but I've had my own sex-drive/responsiveness issues and so I recently began reading them, staring with 50 Shades of Grey, and let me tell you, it definitely helped light me up! I made a pen-pal with a guy who was in a sexless marriage and out looking to have a FWB fling, and I suggested he get 50 Shades, give it to his wife, read it himself (good fodder for ideas in the bedroom), and his response was that guys are more into porn...totally missed the point!

There are some pretty hot erotic novels out there now, written by women, so who better to understand what imagery gets women off - men should read this stuff to get an idea of what floats their women's boats!

 

I can't either.

 

She can only be herself. If you want her to be someone else, let her be free to find someone who really wants her. She is not the women in your past. If they were so great, where are they now? Just chill. She's not so into clitoral nor labial stimulation. She has told you as much by not responding. Why can't you listen? The less I have to tell my partner in words, the better I think he is in bed. Final thoughts... if I know dude is goal oriented and thinks sex is all about noise and orgasm, it gives me performance anxiety, and it makes it so hard to get off. It doesn't matter if he later claims there is no pressure for me to climax. He already broke it. Sometimes time fixes that, sometimes I find someone else to fuck instead.

 

sadly orgasms with women is less mechanical than guys, Its all about leanrt techniques, state of mind and relaxing. Just people no matter what don't make this into a serious conversation or a big deal on you or her. Women with each man take time with them they have to mentally get use to them and let all inhibition go. Yes you have been with her 3 months but you are still in early stages she may not fully be relaxed or is confused herself, often women put pressure on it and dont fully relax into the experience of sex. Keep doing what you are doing but make sure you say to her enjoy and really make her relaxed even prompt her to enjoy each little thing you do to her body and not focus on reaching orgasm, keep making it about her and not a race. Im sure it will happen for you both. good luck.

 

Don't necessarily have sex every time you are loving and cuddling.
Relax has been said lots but a little weed has worked wonders. A lot can work wonders too, but maybe in a different way.
Cowgirl and standing are two great positions.
Playing with sex on her own, being kind and intimate with herself. Hitatchi or Doxy perhaps?
Orgasms begin in the head, but orgasms are not essential for great sex. I'd just enjoy sex together if you like being together.

 

I was having a problem with making my wife have an orgasm. We were having missionary style sex and I kept cramping up. We switched to doggy style and I haven't had this problem ever since. Maybe a new position is all you need to try. Also don't go straight for the vagina. Don't forget about kissing, and caressing and and all that kind of stuff. I also use ginseng and damiana does wonders for our sex.

 

I can never understand why the next line in these threads isn't ''so I dumped her and found a better girlfriend''

set her free....if she comes back....set her free again....get a new gf

life is too short....let some other dude make her cum if you cant....why torture her?

 

I've gotta be honest.. I think it would be so low of someone to leave their partner because of sex-related reasons. (Between just the two of them, if your partner cheats, by all means get rid of them.)
"My girlfriend doesn't have any orgasms, what do I do!?" "Dump her!" That's just SO low..
If she says you're pleasing her, you probably are, and if she hasn't told you your sex lives together sucks, then she's probably content. I have yet to have an orgasm, period. But my boyfriend still pleasures me, I'm still pleased with the sex we have.

I understand that sex is great and all, and if your libidos are totally opposite you're probably not going to be the most sexually content person, but I just can't justify leaving someone that I love because they aren't perfect in bed..

 

wowzers....I got lots to say.

First of all...you are making her orgasms about you. YOU feel bad, YOU want to MAKE her orgasm. no, no, no. It's not about you and you don;t make someone feel something. Relax, so she will relax.

Second...not everyone reacts the same to orgasm. One person my writhe, scream and tear at the walls while another may simply sigh.

Third...many girls fake orgasm to make their man feel good...stroking that ego. And girls will tell their guy how great they are in bed...blah, blah, blah...again more ego stroking. You may have UNREAL expectations from this gal because of your past experiences.

Lastly....talk to your girl and ask if there is anything she wants you to do. Ask if she feels satisfied...ask if when she masturbates, do the orgasms feel the same as when she is with you. If she is fine...then leave her alone, relax and enjoy one another.


There is much, much more to sex than orgasms young grasshopper.

 

It took several years for my wife to learn how to orgasm. She was very hot girl, but never masturbated when she was young and thought I should give her orgasms. Every time after our make out sessions I heard how I'm acting wrong, don't apply enough press, don't do it in a right speed, how I can't listen her thoughts and that things what she needs are different every time. I encouraged her to use her own fingers and vibrator on her clit in our make out sessions and alone, press her legs firmly together and tense her whole body. After hard exercising she finally got the point - I was and am still very proud of her!

 

A womans orgasm starts hours before you reach the bedroom. For a man, sex is an act. For a woman, sex is an event. So the stimulation she needs begins with your romantic acts as you escort her to dinner. You make the evening about HER. You then take the walk holding hands to some enchanted place, whispering in her ear, that she is all that matters to you. Some nice kissing and attention goes here. By the time you reach the bedroom, her event meets your act. Now all the same things you were doing before will set her ablaze! I must say though, I think you both are rushing this relationship. I would slow things down, and even wait on the sex, until you can see if you and this woman are really in love, and then make a commitment to each other and get married. Good luck!

 

^ straight from the "how to be a gentleman" pamphlet.

 

Well my bf couldn't really do it too, but with the assistance of "toys" seems like things are going smoothly and better.

 

I was going through this with a girl recently, and she made it known to her friends and mother we'd been having this issue. She otherwise enjoyed our sex, though. Her mother asked if we'd been having sex, and then followed up by asking if her ex-bf was better in bed. I was mortified to have heard this second hand from my girl, and even more so when she insinuated the answer is yes. It just felt shitty all the way around, and the fact of the matter is that it wasn't like she was the best person I had ever slept with either. But we enjoyed each other a lot and I thought that was enough.

She couldn't understand when I reacted negatively to hearing all of this. Is it legitimate to be upset over a partner sharing intimate details like that with others, or did I overreact? She had apologized for being childish/immature about it (re sharing intimate details), but I honestly don't know if I could ever feel comfortable around her mother or friends, even AFTER we figure things out. Is that unreasonable of me?

Thank you.