Can't Get Over My Ex Sexually

Long story but please bare with me, just feel like sharing this with someone. Comments/opinions are welcome good or bad. Wasn't sure to post it here because it has a bit of everything, love, sex, confession etc etc...

Back in 07 I started to talk to this 18 y/o girl on a music message board. First we became "message board b/f and g/f" but soon it got more serious even though we lived about 13 hours away. We would email everyday and move on to talking on the phone almost everyday. She is a born again christian, and on her 15 birthday received a promise ring from her pastor. She was pretty serious about it and I accepted that there would be no sex unless we were getting married, it took alot from me but I thought we live so far away from each other it won't be that hard. The stars aligned and her church made a trip to my state and after 8 months long distance relationship we met. She was even prettier in person, I had seen plenty of her pics before but in person she was stunning. Here was this mexican girl in front of me about 5"7, body nicely shaped after years of playing volleyball in high school, long straight black hair, firm ass and thights with proportionate breasts not too big or small with a flat tummy about 150 pounds, she was by no means skinny but had a curvy body without being overweight. She was the best looking girl I had ever dated for sure. We met at the hotel her church was staying at, I got a room and met there. After the initial awkwardness of finally meeting and on the second night, we started making out, I pulled down her blouse and bra to expose her breast and while sucking and licking them moved my hand down and started rubbing between her legs, we switched positions and she unzipped my pants pulling my hard cock out...I could tell she was new to this cause she didn't know what to do with it lol, but suddenly we stopped and she reminded me of her promise ring etc etc...After that meeting our feelings became stronger and I visited her for thanksgiving, when I met her mom, her dad left them a long time ago, and her family. They were real nice and I got along with them pretty good, of course always reminding me they were a christian family and that they expected me to respect aka not have sex with her until marriage. Of course during that time we made out and move on to a bit of oral sex, most of the time me on the receiving end because she couldn't stop giggling whenever my mouth was anywhere near her love spot. Over the next months we would meet halfway, and a couple of times got a hotel room where I finally got to see her beautiful naked body and even try to 69 but ended up just making out naked. Finally it was her turned to visit me and meet my family, she ended up staying at my moms place, it was a letdown because I was hoping she would stay at a hotel and get a little action, because even though I was aware of her beliefs I knew that we couldn't suppress our urges forever. I showed her my place and while watching tv things started to get a little hot. While making out I reached under her jeans and asked her what she was wearing..."it's a little black thong, I put it on for you". I knew it was on then...we took our clothes off, and while she was laying tummy down I kissed her back, until I went down to her ass. I noticed she was very responsive so I started kissing her buttcheeks until softly I opened them and started licking her asshole softly. She was moaning and pushed her ass on to my tongue...it was so wet from my saliva that I got up pull her hips up and started rubbing my hard dick into her ass until it was it. She was enjoying it so much and telling me to go harder until I finally came...it was awesome. Fast forward some months later in 09 they close the place where I was working, and moved to her apartment complex. It was hard leaving my family and friends, but I felt so strongly about her i thought it was worthy.

Things changed when we were together. Even though the sexual tension was there, her attitude change and her beliefs affected our relationship. She wanted me to assist to church 3 times a week, volunteer @ her church, change what I listened to and the way I dressed, get baptized...and I did some of it because I thought that's what love was, change to whatever your partner wanted sacrificing your own believes and ways just to please them. In the meantime sexually we found something by accident that gave us orgasms and became our go to activity while she stayed virgin(we tried anal again but she couldn't take it). While making out on our sides facing each other in bed I took her pants off and and while having her panties on I put my dick between her pussy lips/clit and her panties. This created an AWESOME feeling while we were grinding on each other she was being stimulated reaching orgasms and I would cum in her pussy creating a cream pie effect without penetrating her. Also her breasts were available for me to touch or kiss while grabbing on her ass and pulling her towards me while I grinded my dick as hard as I could between her pussy lips and clit. The panties added some stimulation but we did it naked too, I would recommend this activity to anyone trying to stay "virgin" or if you want something new to do.

After a year of being together she broke up with me and I was devastated. I failed to see this wasn't working and try to get back with her, and became a fwb relationship...I got into some problems with the law, had to move back with my family and here I'm in another long distance relationship with a wonderful person whom I love very much. She loves me the way I'm and accepts me, we share the same life philosophy and I think she's my soulmate. Here is the problem, I still think about my ex. Not in a romantic way, but in a sexual way. I still think about her as the best looking girl I ever dated, just thinking about her nice tight body perfect ass and breasts and those DSL, perfect smile. I've masturbated multiple times in the past looking at her pictures thinking about the past, and part of me thinks that because I never got to have actual intercourse with her I still have it on my mind as something I would've want to do it and never did.
My current g/f is good looking, but after 2 kids her body shows it. I might sound like a jerk but im open to opinions or advice because I just want to enjoy my current relationship and put an end to this lust for a person that really didn't care about me and was the wrong person for me.

Thanks for reading.

 

I am no expert on anything, but just know the differecne between love and lust.

 

I just feel bad lusting for a person while I'm with my girl...I know we all do it from time to time but it's been going for too long I think and my current girl deserves my whole attention.

 

Foremost, you need to determine if you want a serious relationship or a sexual relationship. I don't think it's wise at this time to be in a relationship until you can figure out what it is you want from a relationship. If you are in a relationship, and constantly thinking of another then it is not fair to the person who is in the current relationship with you. I would suggest you remain relationship-free until you know exactly what you want....

 

Yeah, if I were her....I would want the thoughts with me or at least know and then given the choice to make up my own mind about it..
Does she know...? I skimmed through your post, so I do not know if you said your girlfriend knows or not.

 

No she doesn't know. I don't think she would stay with me if I told her I fantasize about my ex.

 

I want both a serious and sexual relationships, to me they go together. And I want it with my current g/f. Sometimes I thinkmI'm over thinking the whole thing, I mean who doesn't fantasize about an ex, it's just that a part of me feels guilty about it

 

if you just fantasize...nothing to feel guilty about really, is there with who you are with...
it is called being between a rock and a hard place....

 

Not necessarily does both a sexual and serious relationship go hand in hand. It depends on what the individual wants. In your case, you stated you wanted both with your current girlfriend which is great. As for fantasizing about your previous relationship, there is nothing wrong with it to a certain degree. However, if you are making love to your current girlfriend and fantasizing about your previous relationship while in the lovemaking process then that is an issue that needs to be dealt with. Personally, I have never made love to my current while thinking of my ex because I have healed sexually, physically and mentally before embarking on a new relationship. That's why it's so important to take a break before entering a new relationship as not to have second thoughts or hurt the one you are currently with.....

 

No I've never had sex with my current s/o while thinking of my ex and I know it will never get that far. Thanks for the input!

 

Thanks for your opinion.

 

opinion....for some reason I hate that word.....

 

I sometimes despise the word as well, especially when what I speak is fact and some regards it as an opinion of mine.

facts are not merely opinions.

 

lol...
why the novel? seems to be copy and pasted.. you should have just formed it into a short question if you really want opinions concerning this..
instead you wrote teen erotica..lol gross

 

I couldn't even get through all this trash.. I think I stopped at the part that says "at her love spot"
LMAO oh this is too good

 

so bad, that it's almost good

 

Yeah, I read this more thoroughly after I had first repsonded....and wondered why did I respond here at all....
Saw some words or sentences I could relate to at that point, I guess...have learned my lesson now.....

 

You are welcome!

 

saw some words or sentences?.....

 

well, as long as I knew what i meant is all that matters, i guess....