cant get girlfriend to orgasm

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by freddy778877, May 14, 2013.

  1. freddy778877

    freddy778877 Guest

    she is starting to hate sex because she can never get off, last time she said it hurt and felt like sand paper...its not just me she said shes been with multiple partners and never was able to orgasm or even enjoy it. where do i go from here? could it be birth control?
     
  2. freddy778877

    freddy778877 Guest

  3. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

    Use your tongue!
     
  4. Start with oral sex. Make sure she's super wet before you start having sex. Maybe even use lube.
     
  5. Heat

    Heat Smile, it's contagious! :) Lifetime Supporter

    Be kind to both of you and use lube. That may even help her to relax enough to enjoy it.
     
  6. MikeE

    MikeE Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    Not your job. Her becoming comfortable with sex is her job, she gets to decide how and when. You are interested in that, you are a part of that.

    She should talk with one of her girl friends about the issue.
    Does she masturbate?
    Does she lubricate during masturbation.
    More or less than when with you?

    The paradigm of you doing the right things to her body, with the goal of her orgasm doesn't sound like it would work.

    Perhaps, you exercising less control, letting her move at her own pace. Waiting for her to unhook her bra, without you suggesting it, for example. Will let her get comfortable with her own skin and body reactions.

    Try changing goals from "the two of us having orgasms" to "the two of us enjoying our bodies".

    Heck, it might even be possible that you will give her something more valuable than an orgasm, her awareness of her sexual orientation.
     
  7. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    yes, I know girls that hadnt been on it. came from just a touch, once on BC couldnt get a jack hammer to get them off.. That synthetic crap just fuckd them all up..
     
  8. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    Have you tried stroking her clit while having intercourse at the same time or touching her somewhere else where she's sensitive as well?
     
  9. freddy778877

    freddy778877 Guest

    went down on her for almost an hour...nothing some heavy breathing and the odd gasp..should i look into a vibrator or something or get her to stop taking BC?

    ive been looking into this and this is what i came up with:

    1. connect with her better overall
    2. dont put pressure on her to f***
    3. make it all about her in bed
    4. when shes ready try some lube if she wants to try it
    5. if none of this goes well talk to her about getting herself off/getting a vibrator before we go any further?
     
  10. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    Does she or has she mentioned anything to do with vibrators in your conversations at any stage before?
    Would she let you use one at all or is she not that way inclined?
    I once used a dildo one night to stimulate my wife, but I didn't tell her what I was using as she was facing the other way. When I told her I was not using my penis, she freaked out & wanted to know what I were using instead. That was the first time I had used a sex toy on her but not the last. I bought a few other types to try & get her aroused instead of using my penis or fingers. So you may need to ask her views on sex toys when she's in a nice & friendly mood.
     
  11. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Staff Member Super Moderator

    Oh, yeah, surprises with. Person already nervous and unable to let go is a grand idea.
     
  12. abigail92

    abigail92 Guest

    Longer and exciting foreplay, make her wet. Girls sex drive are emotionally driven.
    Try sex game like Sensual Board Game could helps.
     
  13. crystal456

    crystal456 Member

    Bring her to staycation at a posh hotel or travelling. I am sure she will be excited.
     
  14. freddy778877

    freddy778877 Guest

    thats a cool idea actually, maybe get a vibrator/lube go to a nice hotel just to get out of the same old routine, go out for dinner maybe some alcohol, how does that sound?
     
  15. Cutted

    Cutted Cutted

    Only about 30% of women can orgasm from intercourse alone, and another 25% from intercourse with simultaneous clitoral stimulation, 25% from masturbation only, and the rest seldom or never orgasm.
     
  16. pipgirl

    pipgirl Member

    Can she orgasm by herself? I mean does she masturbate?
     
  17. tuesdaystar

    tuesdaystar Interneter

    Can she get herself off? Has she ever had an orgasm?

    I think it's somewhat common for women to have trouble having an orgasm from penetration.

    I don't always have one, I sometimes have 5 or more. I usually have better luck when I've had a clitoral orgasm first.

    She needs to be relaxed and comfortable and healthy and hydrated.

    Let her take control, complete control. Let her just do what makes her feel good and you just flow with her rhythm.
     
  18. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

    Ya know that statistic of the 25% who are masturbation only comers, and the other 20% who can't reach orgasm are highly debated as being in existence due to a culture's sexual morality (usually repressive) belief systems.

    They argue a mental block (usually shame) set early in life changes the neurology, and sexual-psychology, of a woman that impacts the individual as an adult. The other factor I think is lack of sexual knowledge by both men and women of that said society.
     
  19. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

    How did your wife's "freak out" response last? Were you in the doghouse because of that move you pulled on her?

    Still I don't recommend doing this with girls in the bedroom, it seems extremely likely to backfire.
     

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