I haven't slept with a girl in years, but I am seeing one. I'm always checking out women, even since i was a little girl, but I wont get into detail on that. But even as a little girl, i remember thinking, i should be staring at men, not women. So i tried staring at men. lol. Anyway. I've slept with guys but I haven't been turned on by them in a long time. Yet I do fall for one and find them very attractive. But I have come to the conclusion that I'm a lesbian. Just not sure if I'm bi or a lesbian. Is it possible to be a lesbian (not bi) and be attracted to men?
If your attraction to men isn't anything past finding them *physically* appealing, you really can still be a lesbian. I really don't think there are any set rules for sexuality... If you're sexually/emotionally aroused by/attracted to women; you're a lesbian. If both sexes do it (regardless of it's at the same time or something that happens in differing time periods), you're probably bisexual. (I don't dismiss 'bisexual' as a label like some, but I do know plenty of people that label themselves as such but lean towards one gender or another, especially in 'phases'.) And, yes, I think you can still identify as lesbian and find men attractive. The difference, IMO, is you don't want to actually have sex with them. I'm a lesbian but I drool over certain men... Especially two men together. I don't want to join them, I'd just rather watch like a pervert. Still a lesbian. Still only want women.
meh, you could be a lesbian and fall for one dude. but if you're falling for both, you probably just like both.
I don't think that the rare, occasional opposite sex attraction would make you bisexual any more than the rare, occasional same sex attraction makes an otherwise straight person. If you aren't acting on it and have no desire to, then it's not a big deal. I see sexual orientation as sort of a numerical scale. I'm about 50/50 dead even as far as my attraction to each gender goes. My partner's about 90/10 in favor of women. She can still find a man very attractive, it's just that it's pretty rare for her to do that. Very few people are completely gay or completely straight. Almost everyone's going to occasionally see someone of the gender they're not usually interested in and find them attractive. Besides, you say that you've slept with men in the past, so at one point you were interested in them. I presume that attraction went away for a time, or at least you didn't notice it or pay attention to it, and it might be coming back. Sometimes sexuality does that.
Sexuality is personal and difficult to label. I say love who you feel good about loving, screw who you feel good about screwing and you are doing it right