im 33. ive never had a date, never been kissed or anything. in school, I would be bullied and made fun of by kids and teachers. this made me grow up suicidal and crying myself to sleep every night. I would cut my wrists and then go to sleep hoping I would bleed out in the middle of the night and wake up in a better place. it caused me to become anti social. im an adult now and still cry myself to sleep and also suicidal attempts. the lonliness has become so bad that ive seriously considered going to a bad neighborhood hoping to be raped. that way atleast I can somebody wanted me for something, even if it is that. people have told me that I need mental help. but im wondering is it really mental problems or just extreme lonliness?
Join an all women's volunteer group. And then wonder if they might want to get into your bed. I'll have to go now to my lonely bed; thanks for letting the bed bugs be immoral, at least.:2thumbsup:
Sounds like you have had a lot of depression and loneliness in your life and are desperate for someone to give you some attention. I would say in my experiences in life being mentally ill and disabled that you sound like you have more than just loneliness and simple things like that and you would most likely benefit from professional help. Trust me I have had a lot of sex in my younger days and was still extremely depressed and lonely and even at times suicidal it is not a symptom of loneliness to want to take your own life. Suicide ideations and attempts are a sign of a serious mental health issue and you should really consider getting professional help for those aspects of your life. You mentioned that you feel antisocial are you speaking from a clinical aspect like you do not chose to obey the law, defy authority and do not like people in general? Or, just don't feel like being social? I would hope you could get some professional help and maybe some medication to help with the suicidal idealizations and crying yourself to sleep at night. As far as not having been kissed and your virginity that is something you will have to work out on your own or with the help of a mental health professional. You really sound like you need some professional help and a good friend who you can talk to and trust, if you can try and see someone for your mental health. You do not have to continue to live this way. Are you gainfully employed? Do you have any sort of social life? or go places to socialize where you could make a friend while getting professional mental health care? Please get some professional mental health help and I hope things improve for you.
If its your supposed mental problems then everyone else can blame you or some unseeable condition that again comes back to being your fault. They can just blame you and dont have to face an personal responsibility If it is loneliness however, then that is because everyone else sucks, will for the most part only bother with you if you have money, are pretty or popular i.e can get stuff from you. But then they'd have to acknowledge part of the problem at least, lies with them. Which is never going to happen. So you have to watch out for that shit. It was never about anything wrong with you, people are greedy, selfish, jealous little knobheads. Start blaming everyone else
Vanilla is right. The bullies are wrong. How can anyone say how someone, who isn't them, is supposed to be. You are perfect just the way you are. Whether you hsve a mental illness or not, if you feel suicidal, you should see a counselor to examine your line of thought. Suicidal thoughts occur with and without mental illness. At the same time, even people without mental illness need someone to talk to sometimes - someone with the tools to help you find your way.
you may want to visit www.suicideforum.com to talk about this more seeing a counselor sounds like a good idea. things can probably get a lot better for you, but you need to get some help hope that things get better soon! :grouphug:
Which is just more of its her fault isnt it. Maybe everyone thats ever ignored her should be made to go to a counsellor
sorry VG, not valid. If she got stabbed and I told her to go to the hospital, I wouldn't be saying that it's her fault. She needs help regardless of who is to blame.
Yah, being hip is NOT going to help with this kind of pain. There is PRIMAL THERAPY as discussed here and Janov DOES take on some freebie cases. It may be worth a phone call here: http://www.primaltherapy.com/
get some confidence and don't be insecure. so many depressions problems come from it I swear. we can only help ourselves. We can ask for advice, but we can only help ourselves. Met plenty of people much less fortunate than myself who were much more positive in daily life. These people don't even have internet to type in self doubt. Strait up dude. If you wanted pussy or dick, and anything else in life you would go get it and not talk about it. Most people who are very successful love what they do because when times get hard they can step through the ugly, and they don't complain cause it could always be worse. You could be in the fucking jungle warfare in some foreign country. Your not. So get up.
get a hair cut, buy a nice shirt, keep your chin up and if you hit on someone attractive the worst thing that can happen is you don't get laid. most people are so afraid of being rejected they never try. both grown men and women. those who don't try something well,... unsuccessful
i agree. getting bullied and made fun of is not her fault (if she is a she, they haven't specified). but not getting your head together on it by the age of 33...a professional external advice is not only recommended it's probably unavoidable. not to mention she has actually cut herself because of this thing, and still wishes to die. that is not something a mentally healthy person does. yeah, i say, go consult a therapist. it doesn't make you insane or anything, but you do need help with dealing with whatever it is you can't deal with.
only person you can help is yourself. people don't do that for you. they might. in the end, all you have is yourself. nobody can force you to walk up a set of stairs. gotta do it yourself.
Yea, not saying it's the OP's fault... but not getting over being bullied as a child--by age 33. To the point of not having the confidence to ever go on a date (because ANYONE can get a date or two in their life if they try, anyone.), cry yourself to sleep at night, cut, want to die.... I think the main issue is you NEED to get over your past... or should I say the past things that have happened to you... now. I say this as someone who had to get over past things that were done to me in that arena also. And I'll tell you what, I'm 33 too (soon 34) and although memories aren't wiped clean...I had to decide for myself that fuck those people... they were young and dumb anyways. I wasn't gonna remain a victim all my life and punish myself. I have a very fulfilling life but it's because I have dealt with the things from my past that hurt a lot. VG is right about one thing... those things weren't YOUR fault so be mad at someone else and stop feeling like something is wrong with YOU. But then you also gotta let it go and move on because at some point it does become your fault for selling yourself short your whole life and continuing the cycle. And that train has been gone from the station.
