Can happy relationships last without sex?

You could find an assexual woman and both be happy. But a woman with libido would be very frustrated in a relationship with an assexual man. Fingerings and dildos and the like do not replace a man desiring you, touching you, hard for you, having intercourse with you.

If a woman with libido would fall in love with you, she'd perhaps think she could change you with time, or she'd perhaps think she could live with it, but with time, she'd realize she had made a mistake. Sometimes we don't realize we can't deal with things we initially hoped we could.

To avoid breaking hearts and hurting yourself and others, try to stick to assexual women. There are plenty of those out there.

I wish you well. I know some assexual people and they're very often misunderstood.

 

just marry someone. hipforums needs more women complaining about their asexual husbands.

 

That is actually a good point. I would like to ask the OP why a woman is necessary?

 

I still make strong emotional connections with people, but emotions and sexuality are not necessarily connected to one another. Love and sexual desire are not the same thing. I can love, but I can't sexually desire someone. His point isn't as solid as he would like to believe.

Asexuality is still new, so not many people believe that it can exist. Without getting into too much detail, there is asexual and aromantic. They don't always go hand in hand.

Asexual means that there is no interest in sex. This does not affect how attractive or unattractive people are to us. Like I said, paintings are pretty but we don't want to have sex with paintings.

Aromantic means that there is no interest in romance. I am not aromantic. I believe in soul mates and true love.

Also, humans can find anything visually pleasing, but this doesn't mean that we are sexually attracted to everything we think is pretty.

 

But you must be more attracted to females? If your attraction was the same across the board where sexual feelings are not involved then it should not matter if your partner is female or male. To prefer females suggest there is sexual attraction there.

Asexuality isn't new...... The label is, the feelings aren't, there will have been people through different eras having the same feelings, it is just now, there is a label for it.

 

I was talking about the label.

But your assumption is not entirely logical. I like art, but that doesn't mean that I like landscapes and portraits equally.

There are heteromatics, biromantics, panromantics, etc. I don't prefer to be with women, but I have never had any emotional connections to any males I know. Men can be just as aesthetically pleasing a women, but I'm just plain not going to touch a penis. So, since the point of the board is to understand how willing women would cope with no sex using a real penis, it isn't relavent to mention men.

 

If you are asexual and were with an asexual man there would be no need to touch any penis....it sounds to me like you are wanting a relationship with a woman with a libido.... It doesn't add up.

 

You are misinterpreting it. I don't WANT a relationship with a sexual woman, I just don't want to be limited to only asexuals because that is a very narrow selection of people. So, I don't want to be worried about meeting someone, falling in love with them, and then the relationship not working because of the one thing I won't do. I don't want to be LIMITED to meeting asexuals online and would like to be able to know how someone would feel if I fell for a person at work, at college, in a coffee shop, etc.

More people are sexual than asexual so it is more likely that I will fall in love with a sexual person and if I do,I want to know if it's possible to keep that person happy without using my penis.

As I said about the males, I have not had any emotional connections to any and would, for that reason alone, be more happy with a woman. If a connection like that did form, then good for me, but it's just unlikely. Again, I don't want to be limited to asexuals because I want to have the option to fall for anyone anywhere and have a chance.

 

The art fallacy is a big one. You're seriously dumbing down what art is, and what sex is, to draw illegitimate examples that may make sense at a language level, but do not have even remotely related meaning.

As you say, you're clearly strait, you not only don't have interest in males, you will NOT touch a penis, but will touch a vagina.

As for how women would cope with it, several people have explained it to you.... It is very unfair to try to start a relationship like that with someone with a libido, and it will not work.

You, and people like you, make up labels.

The simple fact is that all these things are tied in. Romantic feelings are a part of sexual feeling, that's simply what it is.

Asexuality is not "new", OR it does not exist. There are surely people with higher or lower sex drives, but it's not something new, and it's not simply how one is, without cause.

We are sexual, and this is fucking hardwired in, very deep. It's how our shit works. Sometimes things go the opposite way and people are attracted to more than just the opposite sex, but it's still a human brain, working in a normal way.

Asexual is an easy way to class people who don't like sex, for whatever reason, or don't like it very much. But it's not very much of a legitimate sexual identity, as you're proving. It's more of a malady. Not that it needs to be treated in most cases, but in yours, yeah, you're sort of sadistically trying to figure out how to entrap people in a nasty situation with you, where they're dependent but still not in a satisfying relationship.

These are not "romantic" feelings you have, these are sadistic feelings. You have talked about females essentially like things that you want to own, and it doesn't sound like you've ever had much of a friend, either. Maybe if you can develop a normal friendship, that would be a starter. It can, and probably should, be with a male, and not sexual in nature.

 

I'm not looking to "entrap" anyone in a relationship with me, I'm asking if what I'm willing to do will be enough. I'm looking for ways to make up for the one thing I won't do. It isn't as if I am trying to take something away from people just for shits and giggles.

I won't argue that asexuality is its own orientation because it's a sub-level of any other sexuality. Romance, however, is not necessarily connected to sex. The reason that I have to compare it to a seemingly unrelated subject is because, as you are showcasing, not fully understood. I was explaining that people, just like paintings, can be seen without sexual desire while still bringing out emotions.

I don't even touch my own penis sexually, but I suppose I could be convinced to touch someone else's if I cared about them enough.

You are making a lot of assumptions about my friendships that are completely unfounded. Not only have I had many "normal" nonsexualness friendships with both genders, but I have many very close friends that at least somewhat understand my situation. I'm not an antisocial person and I can usually become good friends with anyone.

However, this entire thread has little to do with me and my asexuality was not the point meant to be discussed. I'm not sure why you felt it necessary to, unsuccessfully, disprove the particular way that I see romance and utterly dismiss asexuality as just a low sex drive when it is a 0% sex drive.

Perhaps this topic would have stayed on course if I had instead simply asked: "if for any reason your boyfriend refused to have any sexual interactions involving his penis, what could he do, sexually or not, to give you a fullfilling relationship"

 

Yeah, you want it to be enough. But we're still discussing struggling to keep up with enough, there's a clear understanding that even if it WAS enough, it wouldn't be any moreso.

In normal humans, you will not be a fulfilling partner. You might be a fine friend, but not in a boyfriend or husband type of way.

People have sex. People like sex. People like to have a lot of sex. Even a "low" sex drive is a LOT higher than asexual.

If what you say is true, and you have friends and just want romance, take one of these close friends out to dinner. Done and done.

 

At least this post was on topic, though you may have to clarify the first paragraph's meaning.

The reason I started this was because lesbian couples work and are generally happy with one another sexually. They don't have penal sex but have many ways around this and are still satisfied. Whether they use toys, oral, fingering, or something else, they are still sexually content. As I would be willing to do any of those things, the question is why the actual penis is important when it can be replaced by a dildo or vibrator, as in lesbian relationships. "Scissoring" I cannot do, but I've never read or heard of it being the most pleasurable experiance.

 

They are lacking a certain type of physical stimulation, but are not attracted to people with a penis. They may do what they can to replace it (or may not), and they're still sexually attracted and excitable people, who can get into sex. You want to sit there with your clothes on and play obgyn, and scientifically stimulate someone while claiming to not be attracted to them like that.... it doesn't matter how talented your fingers might be, or WHAT toy you use, if the emotions are not there it's mostly going to be creepy for them. Maybe not creepy for someone who knows you as a friend and wants to get off, but creepy for someone who's actually WITH you, and understands that they're just "art", to be stimulated enough that they stick around and act like a friend. Then why are they not just your friend, and bumping uglies with someone who's into it?

Cause if someone's not into it, sex is going to suck. It's not just a set of movements. There are, in fact, people who consider themselves strait, or gay, but also may have sex with the gender they don't identify as being attracted to... they may obviously not be exclusively attracted to that gender and actually be bisexual (as everyone is somewhere on more of a sliding scale, than a polar orientation, even if they don't realize it, I believe), but they're still having fun sex with those they wouldn't consider dating, or whatever. They're both into it, and even if you're just a bit into the idea, once you're in the moment and everything gets going, you might be quite into it.

I digress. The main problem is that you can't have a relationship that means totally different things to it's participants. Maybe sometimes you can, but not when those things are as different as you describe, in the particular way that you describe.

Sex is not just having an orgasm, or they could masturbate and never have sex and be totally happy. Even if you had more normal intercourse, they would still probably not be happy, because it would be little more than masturbation with a life-sized doll, when they want to have real sex with a real partner.

 

You seem to have a theme of misinterpretations and assumptions. First of all, I don't see people AS art, that was just the only way to explain how I see them attractive without being sexually attractive. Whether lesbians are attracted to men or not, they have the same lady parts that feep the same when stimulated.

You also seem to assume that any sexual encounters that I participate in are awkward and technical. I can be passionate, or at least keep things heated, and most of my clothes can be off. I don't "play games," and I suppose you could say that I enjoy the aspect of making another person happy, so there are emotions. Sexual desire is not that emotion.

I suppose you imagine that I am a blank faced robot sitting beside someone with my hand in their pants, saying something akin to "Are you sexually satisfied for the day?" when i do go about sexual interactions, but this is not the case.

 

You have a theme of using metaphors, but being entirely unable to understand the use of metaphors, even your OWN metaphors.

You are playing both sides of the semantics game. Try paying attention to what I mean, not how I'm saying it. Because I get the idea that you're not as stupid as you pretend. First you act like a bloody retard and like everyone's answers are not simple enough, and when it's explained so that someone with an IQ of 70 should get it, you act offended and like you're all sorts of sophisticated, and your question went over everyone's heads.

It doesn't matter if you think you're into it. You're making no secret of the fact that you don't want to REALLY touch them sexually, you won't even take off more than MOST of your clothes.... do you not understand how this basically tells your "partner" that they're an untouchable? Do you not see how this contrasts with most people's sex lives, real or desired? You really do seem unable to understand normal human sexual behaviour.... Assuming you don't want to find the reason and change it, you need to stop trying to bend human sexuality to match your own lack thereof.

Every time you get the real (and pretty obvious) answer, which you don't really want, you pretend that nobody understands the question.

Of course it's not awkward and technical, or robotic, for YOU. And of course nobody will tell you that that's how it is.

Maybe "asexual" is a synonym for "autistic". This is what I've observed to be the argumentative style of those with autism or aspergers. They educate themselves thoroughly (if not quite in a balanced manner), and make up their mind. Then they ask a vague question to seek support for their point of view, and when they don't get that agreement, delve into a technical explanation where they use circular logic and logical fallacy (though surely they don't see it as such... logical ballet, maybe?) to justify their pre-determined answer to their own question. They tend to be great at SOME subtleties, and entirely miss the freight-train sized facts.

 

Yes, men do not have to use their penis to have a sexually fulfilling relationship. Oral, and fingers, and toys are all great alternatives.

 

Would you fuck a chick with a strap on?

When you finger a girl does your dick get hard?

 

If that is a good option, then yes, a strap on works for me.

And no. I get erections throughout the day with no correlation to sexual activities or thoughts. It's rather annoying.

 

Thank you for being helpful and giving me some hope.

 

I didn't come here to make a point, I came here to ask a question. This entire argument stemmed from you delineating from the actual topic and stating "facts" about humans. I haven't been offended but I find it interesting that you use words like "nobody" and "everyone" when you are the only person that I've had disagreements with. Most of those disagreements had more to do with me and how I see women, and how you say I objectify them, rather than the actual topic.