Can a former male stripper ever have a serious relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. We got along from every angle possible, and the sex was great for both of us. I always knew that he missed the stripper life but told me he wanted to settle down and have a real relationship and didn’t want to date strippers anymore. A couple days ago, out of the blue he showed up to my place to break up with me. Now, after 6 months he says he wanted to be more sexually adventurous but NEVER mentioned anything like this before....I would totally be open to his suggestions or wants if he would have vocalized them. The only thing he kept saying was he wanted more passion and lust. My gut feeling is he can’t let go of the sex he had with his stripper girlfriends. I’m starting to wonder if he cheated... of if he will always be craving the stripper life. Can someone that had that type of lifestyle ever settle down with one person and be happy in a relationship?

 

It’s possible that’s why he broke up with you but I don’t think someone’s past job has much to do with if someone can be faithful or want a relationship. Just sounds like he wasn’t as into the relationship as you were. That’s what dating is about, to see who we will be compatible with. I wouldn’t blame yourself and I wouldn’t do things you otherwise wouldn’t do, to get a guy to stay in a relationship. Just my advice.

 

I worked next door to a strip club / topless bar for 17 years and knew quite a few of the girls. After work, a few of them who I got to know dropped in for a coffee before they headed off home. One girl regularly waited an hour until I had finished work, so that I could give her a ride home and after a long day I sometimes accepted her invitation to stop and relax with a cup of tea for half an hour with her AND HER HUSBAND, who was a merchant banker.

This is no freaky sex story. It is simply how the vast majority of people who work in the industry behave in real life the moment the lights in the club go down.
If you doubt what I am saying, watch the film Mona Lisa, starring Bob Hoskins, where he sees life behind the scenes at a topless bar, It is so realistic, that it is almost uncanny.

I am telling you this, simply to say that in my opinion your boyfriend was not a serious professional stripper. I imagine that he worked in the twilight of the industry with the sole intention of sampling as many as possible of the goods.

Sorry to sound so negative, but from the way that you describe him and his past, I would suggest that you run for the hills.

People who work in a chocolate factory, don't eat chocolate when they get home.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People who work in the sex industry don't have an orgy when they get home either. In fact their REAL sex life is often seriously lacking.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Thanks. Turns out he was cheating on me with, you guessed it, a stripper. Lied about why we broke up, lied to me and his family.

 

I knew and worked around a number of strippers and others in the sex industry years ago. One of my best friends was a male revue dancer and he told me that "You gotta' be somewhat of an exhibitionist to do this". I noticed that a lot of the men, especially the younger ones, were pretty narcissistic, as well. Anyone considering any relationship or other activities with strippers should keep this in mind. The younger men would do almost anything to get laid after a show with one or more of the girls from that same show, even though knew that disease, or even violence may follow. They did this week after week, sometimes for years. At one show where I was asked to come along to MC/DJ and provide security, we left the club only to find over a dozen angry men outside waiting for a fight. After we left, the younger guys all said they had to fight their way through the parking lot just to get in their cars and leave. The strippers who left with me didn't have that problem, but they were all also absolutely terrified of me after that, even though they all remained very safe crammed inside my little car while we left.

The point is, you really need to pay attention to the fact that, with strippers of every sort, there is gonna be some baggage that must be dealt with, and an inability to carry on a normal lasting relationship is one of those things. Some folks just have an endless need to search for "the next best screw" and don't realize that the "best screw" is the one you fine-tuned yourselves together with. It's an endless trap for them, and some don't escape until later in life.

 

I have been a stripper and still do perform occasionally, I also do a number of other adult roles that include sex. It's not necessarily the fantasy type of role some believe it to be, it can be very hard work. The last thing I would want is to come home to a partner wanting sex. I wouldn't want a serious relationship anyway, only because I know I couldn't commit to it the way a partner has the right to expect. But the flip side is I know a lot of people, have a very wide circle of friends many of those I have met whilst working, and they treat me as a good friend and a lot of fun, but not the type of guy you'd recommend to someone to have a relationship with. When I do eventually quit what I do, which won't be anytime soon, I'd like to carry on with the social life I lead rather than commit to just one person.