I really want my bf to spank me till I have bruises. It is such a turn on when it hurts to sit down the next day. I can't convince him to hit me that hard
Sigh. You cannot MAKE someone do your kink. You can wheel and deal if he's slighly uncomfortable with bruising, but ok with impact play. Maybe he thinks it might be fodder for legal action, I which case he shouldn't have his dick anywhere near someone he cannot trust. If he's ok with spanking, but not marks, find what gets you both what you want.
I can assure you that he knows there would never be any legal action. The other night I put my hair in pigtails and wore a siper short skirt w/heels and pretened to be the barely legal baby sitter who got into the liquor cabinet. He had no problem spanking me then. So I think I may be a school girl getting sent to the principles office for discipline
I can sympathize in that I am a bisexual dude who (no matter If I date dudes or chicks) it's nearly impossible to get them to Spank me Long and Hard and Punishingly enough to actually "teach me a lesson" in that they actually "deter" my behavior. We want it (my current gf) to have a "behavior modification" effect but she needs to punish me much harder for it to work. my pain tolerance is high...
If you come at him like you came at us with this post then I understand why he doesn't want to do it. - You have to ask. Not demend. - You can't ask during the moment. It has to be before. I know that sounds boring, but that's just how it has to be. Some people can go with the flow when you do or ask for something sexually random, without permission. But, most people aren't like that. And you never know who is or isn't like that, so it's better to be safe than sorry. You don't want to traumatize anyone. - Take it slow. Start with gentle pats and go from there. By the way, you're lucky you found a guy that doesn't want to be rough with you. All the guys I end up with want to be rough. They want to do much more than spanking, Not saying that you should settle. You should be sexually satisfied to the fullness. I'm just saying don't be so hard on him. And be careful what you wish you for. Sometimes you will get it and then some, that you don't want.
hmmm... I guess you have a point, abarambling. Perhaps it's caution on his part... or empathy? My experience tends to be this: Every LTR I have ever had (both with women, and the ones I've had with men) have all involved quite a lot of spanking. To me it seems that there are two broad categories of spanking fetishists. There's definitely overlap (quite a bit actually) between the two types, but if you ever saw Pulp Fiction, it's kind of like Uma Thurman askin' John Travolta's Character: "So, are you an Elvis man or a Beatles man..." She acknowledges that a person can like both, but never equally... they tend towards one or the other. And so it seems to be the same with spanking fetishists: either they associate spanking more with EROTICISM, or they associate it more with PUNISHMENT. That's been more of a determining factor in my spanking relationships oftentimes than the whole sub/dom thing...
