breaking on through...

will someone please explain to me what happens when your ego dies?

how do you know?

where do you go?

do you actually leave planet earth?

 

No. You realize that the 'self' that you thought you were, was merely thoughts, and a complete illusion. Truth becomes you, and you are whole.

It's really quite simple

And, your ego comes back. Most likely with a healthy perspective on things and if you're lucky, some questions answered.

 

ive just talked to my mind on large doses of acid

i dont know if thats ego death or what but i realized that everyone around me was me

 

good post, i agree with all of your points. but ever since my last salvia trip i have had the point of view that we hold these fears because we need time to mature in order to be ready.

imagine this:

reality in 'this life' is a relatively lower frame of existence -- although really there is no relativity because there are infinite frames -- behind it, there is another life. the binding force that holds us to this reality is fear, and beyond it is just complete absurdity. when we experience what we call total ego death and unification with the godhead, we are transcending to this higher reality. alot of the time it can seem like this reality, this ultimate enlightenment in our reality, is all that there is. but it isn't. there is an enlightenment there that will take you to even higher realities, and so on.

that, for some reason, scares me. although now that i have put it all out there it just seems rather silly to be afraid of. hah.

i guess it's just pretty hard to be able to let go of everything.

it could also be because during that last salvia trip i was torn from my reality and thrust into transcendance so fast that afterwards i was just incredibly glad to be alive and in this ego state. it feels like my ego is a necesary fear, that keeps me in a protective shell so i that i can develop until im ready.

 

I prefer the term ego loss to ego death, it's a semantics issue though so w/e.

Ego loss is a silent transformation. Realizing that everyone around you is you is certainly powerful, and in my opinion true in a way. However, ego loss is realizing that THERE IS NO YOU.

Who is the one that made that realization? Who is the one thinking when you think? Is it the same one who observes the thoughts? Feel it out.

You'll know for sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt when you experience ego loss.

If you need any help or have any questions, do not hesitate to ask, and may the force be with you!

 

No. There are no lower frames of existence. The existence that you are perceiving right now is all that there is. The idea of there being "higher" planes of existence is simply your ego perceiving a lack in your current reality, and trying to compensate for that, but this lack is only an illusion. Let it go, you'll be rewarded. As I said, realizing the ultimate truth of reality is one of the simplest things that can be done. Truth isn't complicated, that's what's so nice about it

When you say that your ego is a necessary fear, remember that you didn't have an ego when you were born. Your ego was taught to you by society. And something to keep in mind, is that ego death DOES NOT "kill" your ego. It gives you a timeless moment to experience the world without an ego, after which your ego returns, most likely in better shape than when it left. "I" am an ego talking right now, so if you fear "completely losing yourself" realize that ego loss is actually FINDING yourself.

If you think you aren't ready now, you may never be ready. Enlightenment is realizing that NOW is TRUTH. The future is an ego game, as is the past. If that's what you want out of life, then good on ya. I wasn't ok with that though.

Sorry if I seemed a little negative in this post, I really hope you're able to achieve what it is that you think are missing!

 

huzzah brah

yeah don't get muddled with cute little intellectual (ego) games of higher/lower existences (there's that damn dualistic western viewpoint again, you know, the one that's not founded in any data?).

This is all one big medium of experience, you can be in it with ego or without ego. Without is much better, it's just that simple.

You are afraid that without ego you are somehow "dead". But ego is just your mind, and you *have* your mind, you are not your mind.

So that which *has* your mind, your Consciousness, Self, Soul, Atman, whatever, can survive perfectly naked and blissful right here in the thick of human shit

 

Well put, and thank you for the welcome to the forums!

 

This following quote, the first to appear in the book it is extracted from, is one which I often go back to when I feel confused. Surely it must seem cliche to some to have it applied to a psychedelic experience, but I find that it sums up the nature of existence and our place within it with more potency than all the volumes of spiritual texts, and sayings by all people who have been turned on in the history of our world. Often I find myself at what appears to be a crossroad in how I embrace my life, and I think of my previous beliefs and how they have changed dramatically as I've had more experience watching the Sun come up and go down while contemplating soul, ego, God, death, etc. and I eventually realized that to even focus in meditation on a deeper nature is contradictory to reality. As said above, reality is to be experienced at face value. Any other approach is not receptive to love because it is guided by beliefs and expectations. If you believe your going to break through and brace for it, it will not happen. We already have broken through, and you are waiting for youself to stop waiting for you to show up

"The tao that can be told
is not the eternal Tao
The name that can be named
is not the eternal Name.

The unnamable is the eternally real.
Naming is the origin
of all particular things.

Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

Yet mystery and manifestations
arise from the same source.
This source is called darkness.

Darkness within darkness.
The gateway to all understanding."
- Tao Te Ching, Chapter 1

 

"If a man is concerned with radical change where is he to begin?
Can there be a change not superficially but in depth?
What is to be changed?

Is change a matter of faith of finding another pattern?
Does it come about through knowledge or exercise of will?

Can a material process in the brain bring about a change in itself?
Is insight dependent on a material process?
Has insight a cause?"
- Krishnamurti

Dont worry Desos, that is an entirely normal reaction to the visions these plants give us. Quite often they seem to be a preview of our own death, and if this is what is being shown to us, I cant think of any better way for Nature to grab our attention then by showing us how easily our gift of being aware will be taken away, and without emotion.
The ego is nothing to fear, and nothing to feel put back by when coming back to. Your ego is your life as you know it now, and you do not want to die right? So we are all relieved after experincing THE vision, the samadhi, the zen, because we are just regular people trying to ease our own suffering and the suffering of those around us. There are 3 main spiritual trips in my experience, the first which is finding God within all, the second which is a state of beautiful but often frightening trascendence (a samadhi with direct communion), and the third which is like dying into absence of material creation entirely. The third has proven to be the most painful, the most (seemingly) chaotic, and the hardest to accept and move on with life afterwards. What I find to be so strange, is that with the first kind of experience, there is a deep sensation of love felt and a guiding affirmation which wants you to step into the light so you can see.
The second has this sort of, well, really how can anyone put it? Some of us say wavelength, some of us say "relax and float downstream" and so on, but there is no way to put it into words properly. For me, it's been those moments right before ascending into the peak, and as the LSD has you feeling goofy and aware, suddenly it shifts gears on you as the peak grips every fibre of your being and it's like suddenly the entire world, the galaxy, the universe itself has just plugged you into a program that is going on. That's always been going on. And you cant move, or think, or speak, you can only stand still for the 5 or so minutes that it takes place, and spacetime ceases, opinions vanish, self control becomes a cosmic joke, and I've always felt in that moment that someone or something has reached down and placed a hand on my shoulder and whispered in my ear "Be clam, dont turn around, just open your eyes..." and then everything slowly starts to come back, space and time, my ability to move (albeit clumsly), my ability to cry, animals and bugs trail by after being frozen etc. and the trip has left me with nothing but a vision of the direct heart of Nature as she weaves us into being, a diminshed attachment to fear, and a euphoria which surely is the highest a human can go when receiving inspiration from external substances.
And then there is the inner workings that are revealed during the third kind of trip, but if I were able to express it in words I would not be telling any truth, because during the peak of that kind of trip (of which I've only had one from magic mushrooms, although came damn near it again with LSD some time later) there was no existence, and therefor I have no memory of it even happening. I just remember it coming, and I remember watching myself come back out of it, so Im certain that I didnt just pass out lol :tongue:
My advice to you Desos is that if you are experiencing real fears, and are struggling with the trascendent state, you may want to consider taking a break from psychedelics for a time. I've been using them for almost 9 years now and I was never able to incorporate any of what I had been taught from them into the actuality of my daily life until I took a break, which lasted for the first 2 years after my sons birth. The more you go in without taking a breather, the more confusion and bewilderment, and quite possibly fear will continue battling for leadership in your kingdom.

 

yep, im not going to be smoking salvia again until this is entirely integrated into my life. but lsd it seems helps me integrate it. i have only been taking normal doses so it's just like having my ego split open slightly so i can change and understand everything in a more clear light.

and i am not talking about ego loss and profound realizations, i am talking about the eternal tao, transcendence.

 

As you walk around in your normal life, try and see that you are tao. Once this reality comes upon you, even as a cold intellectual fact, you will lose much of your fear, for what is scary about becoming one with yourself?

You are already you this whole time, why is it scary now? Fear has no place here, it only sneaked past the guards, but now you've got it by the scruff and can escort it out, to continue enmeshing yourself into your world.

 

it's scary because what is out there, none of us are even remotely ready for. i got a glimpse of that during my last salvia trip, and well it freaked me out.

i now view life as a preparation for what comes after. i can't explain how happy i was to be alive again, and how glad i was to have more time to prepare.

and it's not really like i am trying to break through, i am more just wondering how it is so possible to let go. i am not pushing this, it is coming on me, but i can't help but resist. imagine gale force winds sweeping my feet off the ground and attempting to suck me away but i am holding onto a railing screaming NOOOO!!

you know, now that i think of it that would be an incredible picture/painting.

i just don't know how to let go of this life.

 

Your first problem is that you think of this life as just "prologue" for "teh real show". Thinking of it like that, it becomes uncritical to let go. Why? When you die, you'll just go to level 2, right?

IMO that is what's holding you back.

Consider the very, very real possibility that this is all there is my friend. Do you want to spend it afraid of being free?

 

Very good advice. After my first ego loss experience on lsd, I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing in life, I felt like there was something I was seriously missing now but didn't know what it was. Despite my experience of the profound, I felt worse than I did before.

~2 years after I stopped taking psychadelics, I was able to piece together that the thing I was missing was being in touch with my being. I began to meditate on a regular basis, read about various eastern philosophies (taoism probably being the most helpful) and my life fell into place. I used to be an extremely anti social introvert, with high amounts of social anxiety. Once I began to meditate into ego loss on a regular basis, without any effort, I developed a rich group of friends, became much more outgoing, and was able to let go of that which was causing me to be miserable. Through ego loss meditation, I was able to find internal peace, and external happiness.

Acid is a door. But the reward is far beyond the door, and if you keep returning to the door you're never going to get the reward.

 

i agree that's why u can relate to someone knowing only their acid intake lol
also that why first and 2nd experiencies are in general the most profound ones.

in my opinion, the hard change or shift of perspective that the lsd causes basically put ourselves in a situation where we are only a part of something very big that is alive, and the feeling of being replenished every moment of our lives is too much joy to handle hence the extasis lol
the hability to comprehend this varies one to another and is a great metaphore for enlightement nowadays...

 

i beleive that when you die you go to a higher reality, if you are ready. if you are not, you are reincarnated until you are ready.

i do consider myself free. all of the insights that everyone is saying i have already incorporated into my life. but i still hold the viewpoint that this life is just a learning experience intended for growth. i guess that the problem is that i am not entirely sure that i have experienced, or gown enough to be able to let go completely and browse other dimensions.

 

“If you think you're free, there's no escape possible.” - Ram Dass

 

alright thats not exactly what i meant. i am free in the sense that you are talking about. im just not sure that we are talking about the same thing here.

"Another thing to consider, is what is ego loss? Ego loss is the experience of a blank state of awareness. You can call it the spirit, love, existence, everything, nothing, infinity, so on and so on, but really all it is, is yourself with no expectations or requirements. Don't say "I'll do this so that I can achieve ego loss". Say "I'll do this.""

is not what i meant. i am talking about leaving this reality behind for eternity during a trip.

--

i just dont really agree with people that hold the view that enlightenment or wholeness is acheiveable. there are higher levels of enlightenment that are acheivable, but to say that you are now whole would imply that reality is finite. well it isn't, it keeps spiraling outwards infinitely.

even when achieving so-called 'wholeness' there is an whole other level that things can go to, we just often can't even see or comprehend it. we aren't receptive to those frequencies, yet...

don't get me wrong though introspectre, i think it's great to have a new intellectual poster on these forums. welcome.

 

Thank you for the welcome! Please don't confuse me for an intellectual though, I don't even have a high school diploma !

You are that infinite spiral. Wholeness is simple. The idea that you are separate from "that which is", or that any separation within what exists can even be made, is illusory.