brain damage?

Discussion in 'LSD - Acid Trips' started by virusborne, Nov 21, 2009.

  1. Keekers

    Keekers Members

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    Sooo I don't know where my response went or if it went through. Anyway, I'll say what I said again really quickly. I have noticed this in myself as well. I did acid about 2 months ago for the second time, and it didn't seem to be too clean but I only had one other experience to base it off of. Anyway, now I have a weird speech impediment which isn't exactly like stuttering, but I get words and thoughts mixed up as they come out of my mouth even though it's straight in my mind. I feel you brother/sister and I wish we could comfort each other because I feel like I'm losing/lost my mind and no one is here to comfort me in person and to tell me that I didn't f up my brain, although maybe I did.
     
  2. someuser

    someuser Members

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    Pretty much how I feel word for word.. I used to speak quite loudly and very clearly; I thrived in the social circle. I felt like I shred through words while continuously conscious of multiple conversations in the room, popping in and out of each at will. In retrospect, I was even proud of my ability to articulate. That was about 5 years ago before I went on a short acid binge. Short is about 3-4 months of acid one or twice a month. Sure, that's nothing compared to some people's intake, but that was quite the bender for me. So now, my words are all fucked up, it's like they're all trying to come out at the same time. Very often, I feel like the speech engine is roaring in my brain, the wheels of my mouth are spinning and screeching, but I'm not moving forward and I'm repeating myself on the first syllable like a buzzing bug zapper. Then the wheels finally get traction and boom I spit the sentence out and I drive over a cliff. At times, I actually have to think about forming the words and remembering to slow down so I don't blurt out and look like a moron, which has inexorably led me to become a very quiet person. I'm mostly silent in circles now even if its not a loud environment. One on one conversation is okay, so long as I'm not stressed out of my mind, but still I know I'm not communicating to nearly the same level as I used to. Also, there's extreme anxiety and depression build up in the same past 5 years as well, but it's hard to tell what's attributed to what, or what has fed what how. I think you guys know how all everything gets all tangled up.
    SO, rapping has helped. Kinda funny at first, but practicing pronouncing syllable by syllable, especially at a fast pace has really helped me wrangle my words in. It's also really fun. I've seen therapists and the lot, and it's basically come down to me believing that my brain is quite plastic and repairable and putting conscious effort into my speech to slowly regain power over my vocal vocabulary.
     
    ZenKarma likes this.
  3. ~Zen~

    ~Zen~ Ancient Mariner Administrator

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    Your experience is typical from what I have seen, and observed in myself. Having done more than my share of really pure LSD back when it was legal, I suffered tremendously from reality dysfunction. It took a year or more to recover. My family thought I had gone insane... they still really don't trust me 50 years later... but I did recover, and am frankly wiser for the experience. And no, I wouldn't drop acid again, even if it was pure, and a mild dose.

    If I wanted to get high, or alter my reality, I'd smoke some thing safe, like some organic cannabis. Or drink a glass of good wine before doing any thing like that again.
     
    SpacemanSpiff likes this.
  4. MeAgain

    MeAgain Dazed & Confused Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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  5. yoni42

    yoni42 Guest

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    You are just anxious, it will go away and you will be back at normal.
     

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