Boyfriend doesn't want sex anymore after this incident...?

So basically he doesn't want it anymore... cause hes scared I'll get pregnant and he says we aren't ready for a kid..
I agree..but we've been doing it since December 2012 and I have never gotten pregnant and we're always careful...
But he said he doesn't want to do it anymore, end of discussion, and that he doesnt even wanna bring it up again..

My breasts were hurting and sore few days ago and he started getting worried and paranoid of me being pregnant cause my period wasnt on yet, but my period started yesterday.. and he knows that..
He said hes gonna have a talk with me about it and that we should hold off till marriage, claims that we do it like rabbits. How is doing it 2 or 3 times a week like rabbits..? We didnt do it nearly as much as we used to when we first met.....

Am I weird for crying over it and feeling bad..? I mean its a part of intimacy and getting closer with someone you love yet he wants to stop it and KNOWS we're always careful about what we do..
After the paranoid incident I said we shouldn't do it anymore just to see his reaction and he agreed....

He goes on to say its up to me when to decide and if and when I ever wanna do it again, then we will. He said he thinks it should be my decision and not his...which made me feel a little better.. yet goes on to say we shouldnt anymore and thats final later on in the same day..
I feel bad that he changed his mind about me making the decision on when we'll do it again to never doing it again.

He said "And this crap..? It's going to stop cause we end up getting paranoid for months on end and I'm gonna put a stop to it and control my urges as best as I can, it makes us paranoid and I'm tired of it and tired of taking chances"

Paranoid for months on end? We only been paranoid about 3 times out of the 2 years we've been doing it.

How do I talk to him about it..? I dont know what to say about it all..

Im worried he'll find someone else to do that with and forget about me in the time we're waiting....
I wanna talk to him about it and doing it again one day but not one day soon to avoid pressure being put on him, but I'm scared as hell that he'll get it in his mind that I'm using him .. like an ex did once..

He knows I've been in a bad mood and it'll be embarrassing to tell him why I've been gloomy..

 

Actually its kinda hard to find a way to get around it cause he doesn't have money or a job to get that kind of stuff and I live with my family and he lives with his, so theres not a way of either of our family finding out

I'm 20 and he's 21

I doubt it... cause he's always at home and talks to me every single day and sends me morning texts and talks to me right when i wake up and talks throughout the day without seeming suspicious but he has gone quiet but only when hes busy with something

 

I don't think it has anything to do with him finding another woman, wanting another woman, etc.

It's normal after a pregnancy scare for the guy or gal to want to be more careful. It's a reality check, and it put's some people's priorities in check.

And if you aren't using birth control; you aren't being careful.

You can get intimate with hands, mouths, even backdoors. No baby-making parts have to touch.

If you're too broke for birth control (which you can buy for pennies on amazon), then you are way too broke to have a kid. Listen to your boyfriend.

12 Lifestyles Variety Pack, $2.18 (most trusted brand worldwide)

Trojan, Durex, Crown variety 36pk, $7.95 (I've heard bad things about Durex though)

12pk Fantasy w/ spermicide, $0.49

12pk Trojan Magnum, $0.48 (most trusted brand in America)

Personally, I like the Lifestyles one, have bought it a couple times; but I'm sure there are even better deals than these ones I found in a minute or so of browsing.

 

You have issues here. And I don't just mean because you're pent up.

You go straight from 2-3 times a weak to no physical intimacy at all.?What happened to hands and mouths, like before the virginity was lost and pregnancy scares were freshly beaten into your heads? That's just odd.

You told him out right that you did not want to have sex. That hurts, no matter the reason. His ego is bruised. However, having his ego dinged has turned to him behaving in a dominant way that's hurting you rather than him communicating with you. If you can't open the lines of comunication over a scare, I shudder to think what would happen if you had a child.

And telling you it's your choice, but not being able to handle it like a man when you make a choice? Are you sure this one is marriage material?

Additionally, depending on country and county, you may be able to get free or cheep birth control. You are over 18, so you won't need parental consent in most countries. Call clinics and Google to find them in your area, get a ride from a friend if you have to. The government does not want to pay support to any more single mothers than they have to, so they can help in some places, and other places have foundations for women's health. If none of these ways will help in your location, maybe you really have been irresponsible.

 

Sounds like you decided to play games with him, and it backfired.

I think you should say something like "Remember when I said that we shouldn't have sex anymore? I didn't mean that. I was being stupid, I'm sorry. I like having sex with you and I want to start having sex again."

 

He's gay.

 

you stupid bitches can't even win at ur own stupid games, so why play? That's like me walkin up to a group of niggas in the projects in brownsville brooklyn and act like i'm gonna rob on of em "just to see what the reaction is". Probly end up gettin stripped out of my boots. People don't like to play games!

 

^
that reminds me of this video at 2:35
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4awVqRr1eCo"]Miami Zombie Attack Prank! - YouTube

 

deleted

 

Troll'd

 

I'm seeing a couple of things here.

One of your reasons for no BC is that your parents might find out. (And you're 20 and 21. I would think that your parents would want you to use BC.) But its clear that both of you are good at hiding stuff from people that are close to you.

He expresses that he was "paranoid for months" after the other scares. Something that you were unaware of (he is good at hiding stuff) and that hiding has lead you to dismiss the paranoia that he felt and is feeling.

Your question is "should I feel..." And you continually try to talk us into believing that he has no rational basis for feeling the way that he does.

It seems that you undervalue your feelings (they can be changed with an internet posting), you undervalue his feelings and you're both good at hiding stuff from people close to you.

(I'm not saying its your fault or you're wrong or that he's right. The data that presented is mostly about you and your feelings. Not enough data to draw conclusions about him.)

Other than echoing the other recommendations for using birth control, I don't really have much to say about your current dilemma.

But this dilemma has highlighted some things that the two of you are going to have to work on if you want a successful marriage. So, I guess that the current dry spell had some good come out of it.

 

Deleted because I posted in the wrong thread.

 

lol