Boyfriend came out as Bi

my boyfriend told me about a month ago that he is bi and has slept with 4 men over the last 4/5 years or so. He hasn’t slept with any since August two years ago. He said he felt like telling me because he hated lying to me. He told me the first time happened when he was getting a massage abroad and he really enjoyed it so signed up to Grindr and met the other three there. He isn’t on it anymore and said he would be 80/20 bi. He only likes the feel of a cock up his bum as he says. We have tried pegging but I don’t think I’m that great at it. I’m not judging him at all, it was a shock but I’ve slept with a girl. No point in putting labels on anyone. He talked about a threesome and it does really turn me on the thought of it of him and another guy but I guess I’m just worried that I’ll end up not being enough. Please don’t hate me for saying all this, I guess I just wanted to talk to someone about it. I love watching gay porn but I’m unsure about it in real life if you know what I mean?

 

That’s good that he was honest with you. I guess it’s just a matter of if you want this as part of your life, you know? If you don’t, there’s nothing wrong with letting him know that.

 

I think my advice is for you, OP, to do more of actually communicating with your partner and discussing this topic, and less of trying to get answers from some random people on the internet who essentially know nothing about your relationship in a specific sense. Kudos to him for being frank about his bisexuality.

 

I don't see you as looking for advise but more looking for information from people that may have had similar situations.
In my situation while my wife and I were active in the bedroom it would have been a problem, something I couldn't juggle. I think that sex outside my relationship with anyone would be problematic. It seems you are upset that you arent all he needs and that is normal. It's really not your problem it's his and if you feel you can't deal with not being all he needs you need to tell him. As far as opinion I don't see a guy who enjoys being screwed by another guy as someone who's going to ever stop wanting that, so if it's not something you want long term you need to stand your ground and let him know. The occasional stray from the norm is something most can weather but this looks different. You say he hasn't done this since August two years ago, were you and he together then?

 

Keep practicing pegging. You’ll get better.

 

I think that his honesty is a sign that he is committed to you and trusts you enough to share. I think a lot of guys just enjoy the animalistic side of sex with other guys...and he probably would not want any kind of relationship with a dude. Maybe from time to time you guys could indulge in a bi threeway, or even just bring up the fantasy while having phone sex. My wife is not interested in my interest of sex with guys, but I still need to express that side of myself. Sometimes just the fantasy is enough. Remember all anyone wants is to be accepted by their lover.

 

My wife and I have a pretty open relationship when regards to talking about stuff...I know she isn’t into the side of me that is open to bi sex....but just as I would be cool with her playing to enhance her sexuality...I wish she would give me the ok to partake in my own desires from time to time.

 

I do completely accept him and i love him so muc..it was a shock more than anything. I did wonder and asked him before and he always denied it.

He did say that its a fantasy more than anything and it feels good but he chose to be with me. I love that he trusts me so much. He did say about a bi threesome but im just not ready for that yet..

 

Yeah, i just wanted to know if anyone was going through the same thing.

We werent together then..he was single and had broke uo with his gf prior to this. He says its more of a fantasy and loves having sex with me because he loves me. I asked him what would happen if i never wanted a bi threesome and he said that it woulf never happen then..he chose me. He doesnt ever want to be with another guy unless im there too

 

Im really no good at it but he said im getting better so thats something lol

 

I agree completely..it took a lot for him to tell me and i am the only one who know. I live him so much and the only reason i came on this was to stop talking to him about it because i dont want to make him wonder that i think less of him because that couldnt be further from the truth..

 

I just wish he had told me sooner although i know it cant have beem easy. I love him and i did think long and hard about whether i could and i can. I just wamted to know if anyone else has been or is in a similar situation

 

Just remember it’s not a sickness or an affliction. It could be a rest thing for you both!

 

I agree that there is absolutely nothing wrong about it at all..you feel how you feel and thats all there is to it. I love him just the same..

 

It took me years to tell my wife I enjoy dildos in the back side. I was getting close to it the first time until she made a very negative comment about it so I left it alone for a couple more years. The biggest problem she had was thinking I would turn gay and leave her for a man in 20 years.lol. I told her I have no attraction to men and even if I did, if I got what I wanted from her I would never have to leave. She got over that pretty quick. Since she is bi sexual she has a lot of experience using dildos. One thing to try( if he's a tit man) bend over him with your tits in his face work it with your hand. You will both learn pegging doesn't have to be with a strap on

 

Thats what i was worried about initially too..i panicked that he was actually gay and just didnt know it yet. He assured me that he has found men attractive but in a sex and up the bum kinda way. Im definitely a lot more comfortable with it now, it was just a shock at first.
We have tried it without the strap on but he seems to prefer that..im just not good at it lol

 

My wife wasn’t good at it the first time or second time but when she finally figured out she enjoys it when she is drunk and wants to be aggressive....it worked out. I consider myself the same. I don’t think dudes are hot, but I think about cock more than I’d care to admit.

 

I'm the same as her, when i've had drink i tend to be more relaxed about it.
Yeah, he said he would look at a guy and wonder what his cock would feel like but thats about it. He could never be with a guy on a romantic level. He did attempt to be the top but he couldn't stay hard to be able to go through with it. He said actually fucking a guy doesnt appeal to him

 

Me either. I’m right there with him. I like the idea of being used like a little slut. I wouldn’t be into kissing or anything romantic. I just enjoy the rawness

 

You have actually made me feel a lot better because that is pretty much what he has said. He said he just attempted being the top to see what it would be like and be didnt like it it. The kissing etc didnt reay do anything for him either but he was new to it so figured he might as well.

I feel like a horrible girlfriend for feeling odd about it at first.. i love him so much for actually trusting me with it.. im just not ready for a threesome or anything like that just yet but i have my own confidence issues as well but he did reassure me that we never have to do anything i dont want to