I talked to your girlfriend today. She's fucking sick of you. Or sick of fucking you. Or both. Yes, probably both. She's this close (indicates a very small distance) to ditching you for a real man, someone who isn't tiny, shrivled, and sexually insecure. What's that you say? You're tired of that little shoestring dangling between your legs? WELL, SO IS YOUR WIFE! It's about time took some action...maybe now you can finally get some action, ya fuckin pansy! Order EXTENZ today, and you'll recieve sexual confidence, an 80% chance of an extra inch or two, a girlfriend who won't cheat on you (as much), and a few side effects we won't get into now. But wait! It just so happens we have Ron Jeremy joining us today, along with some random whore! How's it going Ron? Ron: Just fine, Bob! You know, you're going to start seeing this add in a lot of magazines, and I'm pretty sure it will convince you to stop being such a simpering little fairy and order this amazing product. But don't take my word for it, just ask this little fuckslut what she thinks! She only fucks people who can afford a bottle of EXTENZ ($19.95) Slut: That's right, Ron. I just love men! I love porn and sex, and getting drilled in the ass while sucking off ugly fat pigs like yourself! But if there's one thing that really turns me off, it's men who don't purchase massive quantities of EXTENZ. Sorry guys, if you want a date with this whore, your going to have to call our number and order this incredible sex solution! (note: I will not actually date you). Ron: That's great, bitch. Now, while you scratch your nasty diseased ****, let's go to our hilarious bloopers and outakes we painstakingly staged to look candid! Host: Ron, you fucking idiot. We're saving those for the end of the show, so our viewers have an excuse to keep watching. Slut: As if their microscopic penises and non-existent sex lives weren't reason enough! Ron: Ha ha ha. Aint that the truth! Host: I hear ya, Ron. All jokes aside though, if you don't order EXTENZ right now, you'll probably never have sex again. With so many people using EXTENZ regurlarly, the competition for bigger dicks is becoming quite fierce. The odds of your meat being outsized by the rest of the country are now a whopping 167 to 1 (statistics have no factual basis). Slut: The point being, if you want to get off, you had better get on...the EXTENZ bandwagon. Ron: Did I mention EXTENZ is the number one dick-supplement in the adult film industry? Slut: I love adult film! Host: Once again, the number is (toll free) 1-800-I-WANT-TO-STOP-BEING-SUCH-A-NINNY-AND-GET-A-DICK-THAT-CAN-BE-SEEN-WITH-THE-NAKED-EYE Ron: Just remember, both God and Jesus endorse EXTENZ, the #1 male enhancement!