BPD has ups snd downs too, but they're generally not as extreme as bipolar. And I strongly believe that lithium and tegretol (carbamazepine) is one major mind fuck. Thank god I got off doctor's prescribed crap.
aww.... sorry man I know what fluctuation your talking about ...... its so wearisome after while... the ups and downs throwing everything off... Ive often wondered if I was Bipolar. That severe up/down thing certainly rings a bell .... during my mid-late teens I had emotional/mental whirlwind type things ALL the time.... it was crazy, I FELT crazy sometimes.... but I somehow managed through it... then after I hit 20, I went from the high/lows to just LOW ... and stayed with depression for a few years... so when I finally went to a clinic a couple years ago and got treated for that, they didnt diagnose me bipolar, because my symptoms didnt match at the time. But I still get it occasionally.... the manic feeling... the all-powerful "I can take on the world!" feeling like I can do ANYTHING..... and a few days later, I could be back at -0, shit level, ....... actually here lately Ive had some of the hyped up thing, going days with little sleep, mind spinning, aggitated, restless energy, etc.. but...... I am so familiar with this rollercoaster feeling.. .. I used to actually think it was normal and that everyone was that way! Makes me sad to know that its possible to be more balanced person, and wish I could have gotten treated for it years ago. Or at least ... wish I had an understanding of what I was going through back then. It would have helped. haha I love the list of peoples advice there... *grin* its amusing but also true.. everyone thinks they know whats wrong and have an answer to give dont they? .... ughh, I had my share of that! Dontcha love that happy high feeling tho? I mean ... when its the powerful confident one, and not the crazy angry one .. lol ..... I loved that high.... I miss feeling that good... *sighs*
Yea. And the real mind fuck is that bipolar weaves itself like a cancer thru every fiber of your personality, to the point where you cant tell where the bipolar starts and the YOU ends. I know someone who has been bipolar since they were a child. How can you possibly ever know who you really are with the EVIL TWIN hanging around your neck like a ball and chain.......
You might think FUN now, but this bad boy tends to get worse with age. Yup, the person I know who grew up bipolar became a semi famous guitar player, a computer programmer, and was always the boss or manager at all his high paying jobs, but now he cant even work, or plan, or keep his mind straight... He also had some BIG life experiences that were NOT so good and those most likely never would have happened if he wouldnt have been bipolar. In short, the bipolar controlled and molded his entire life, and he didnt even realise he WAS bipolar until a couple years ago when the physical symptoms got the better of him! His mom thought he was the devil when he was a little kid and she was afraid of him, his dad just gave him everything he wanted to keep him happy. The Seneca Indians (who were mostly afraid of him) thought he had special magic powers and tried to initiate him into the position of medicine man, his wife of 20 years and his kids thought he was posessed by demons or some special powerful being, the local preacher thought he might have the ability to exorcise demons and sent folks to him that seemed possessed.... He grew up believing in all that, cause thats how his entire life was. People even tried to kill him. And he ended up killing a couple of people in the process(self defence). He had to become a body builder so that he could protect himself during all the inevitable fights he found himself in. He just thought he was a real bad ass, and figured that he really DID have special super human powers. He thought that Jesus really DID talk to him. He thought that he really COULDNT be killed. He thought for sure that everybody else was fucked up and he was the only one who had any sense. He really DID think he was from a different dimension.... He spent his whole life that way until recently. Imagine what a mind fuck it would be to suddenly realize that the guy you thought you were your entire life was just the product of a serious mental disorder. So, he went from being more than human to simply trying to live ANY kind of normal life under the canopy of all those meds and symptoms..... Headaches, stomach aches, rashes, sleepless nights, confusion, anxiety attacks, feeling like killing himself, and anger and stress over things that most folks dont even notice or think about... Nope, definately NOT fun. Oh, and before someone having a bad day gets all over me for not using the correct punctuation, I have a bipolar keyboard.......................
After studying bipolar a bit in psych this year, i always kinda compared it to what it would be like if a really depressed person was addicted to cocaine. is this anything like what you think it's like?
doesn't it make sense that however a person is balanced is the way they were meant to be balanced by whomever created them in the first place? who is to say what is the proper balance?
You know, life is a mix of ups and downs. Today, we are led to believe that if you have ups and downs, that you have some knid of 'disease' called 'bipolar disorder', which used to be called 'manic-depressive psychosis'. The problem is, that most people that are 'diagnosed' with his 'disorder' don't have anything wrong with them at all-they're just going through the normal ups and downs of life, and need a balance in their lives and some human kindness and love. While it is true that it has been scientifically proven that chemical imbalances CAN cause this problem, the real problem is that there is no blood test or any other kind of scientific method that a doctor can use to determine whether a particular person that comes into their office really has this imbalance-they're simply using guesswork to assume that a person has it, and there's nothing scientific about that at all. Then the person is given a bunch of expensive medications that have numerous side-effects that usually do them much more harm than good. It's exactly the same thing with 'depression'. Look at it this way-would you want a doctor to start giving you chemotherapy because he THOUGHT you had cancer? You'd want to KNOW you had cancer before you started taking the chemo. With 'depression' and 'bipolar disorder', doctors are prescribing medications to people that they THINK have 'chemical imbalances' that are causing their 'problems', and there's no scientific way to prove it. That's not science, that's nothing more than 21st Century witchcraft! And it's making tons of money for pharmaceutical companies and doctors alike. People today need to have something spiritual and natural to solve these 'problems'. They need love, companionship, proper nutrition, vitamins, fresh air, exercise, and a lot of other simple, basic things that will make a world of difference in the way they feel. I've known lots of people that take medications for these problems, and all they did was get worse. Trust me, none of those people had 'chemical imbalances'-they had LIFE imbalances, and all the damn medicine did was make them worse. Every single one of them.
Sometimes I think I have bipolar but now I believe its what I call "life fluctuations" and its perfectly normal. Sometimes I feel so good, so filled with love and I can just feel the "force" moving through me. I feel so connected, plugged into a stream of infinite possibility. Other times I feel like blah, like an insecure nowhere piece of shit... Like there is no reason to exist, life is pointless and everyone around me is selfish and blind. IThese feelings are normal to me and try to hold no attachment to them but just be an observer. I attribute it to hormones, the seasons, brain chemicals, metabolism, excercise, and the stars. Everything plays into effect, including the people around me and where they are at... I would reccomend http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vipassana So fuck you too, you whiney flesh bag. Love and Light Cosmic B
"Across the Universe" the Beatles Words are flying out like endless rain into a paper cup They slither while they pass They slip away across the universe Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting thorough my open mind Possessing and caressing me Jai guru deva om Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes That call me on and on across the universe Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe Jai guru deva om Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing through my open ears exciting and inviting me Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns It calls me on and on across the universe Jai guru deva om Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Nothing's gonna change my world Jai guru deva Jai guru deva