Big Bang In the beginning, God farted,Known today as the Big Bang,Some fourteen billion, years ago,Expanding, from every direction!Caught by surprise the angels ran!Angels, often having sensitive noses,Flying away in every single direction!Like a cartoon, speeding up the action!Like a short, Charlie Chaplin movie reel!Like terrified chickens, scattering forever!Like a stampeding herd, of wild elephants!Lucifer was caught, completely flat-footed!Unlucky enough to have been close to God!Broadsided each volley hitting him hardest!That he was just not, prepared to deal with!Never possessed, of a great sense of humor!Not being inclined to just forgive and forget!Devastated, debilitated and totally outraged!Indignant, and unwilling to ever forgive him!Swearing one day, he would have his revenge!He hid underground, just refusing to come up!Began practicing atrocious disrespectful farts!With nobody to talk to, God grew quite bored;So, with a funky wave of his hand,Created all the heavens and earth,Out of the, still, lingering stench.Then he created, Adam and Eve,Who ran away screaming holding their noses!Questioning, God's warped sense of humor!Today Joan Osborn runs around singing,Dancing, in the isles like a whirlwind,Sometimes inciting audiences to riot!Yet,“What if God Was One of Us?”Would we all get up and run away?Ever since those first confusing days,The rumor that keeps on going around,Is, something, must be inherently wrong,With the absurdly comical species of homo sapiens,For God to punish us so badly right from the start!Yet the angels keep insisting God was just kidding,Promising they'll come back again, later,Whenever the smell finally dies down,To help clean up the remaining mess.Whilst, the last anyone saw of God,Laughing gently never unpleasantly,Appearing, quite comfortably relieved,Merrily frolicking away into the sunset,He exclaimed: “Sometimes it just feels so good to let her rip!”Whilst, adroitly holding his nose making his most merciful retreat...
This poem expresses the agnostic sentiments and more Asian view of all my poetry. Humor and beauty are treated as indivisible complimentary-opposites or yin and yang. As an agnostic myself the poetry expresses for me how its important to learn how to forgive and forget and make the most out of whatever life brings. Cussing out God or the fates or spending our entire lives fighting the good fight without knowing who and what we are fighting for are just counterproductive. Many hippies I know believe that if you can't poke a little gentle fun at your own beliefs, including religious ones, its just not something they are terribly interested in either.
