Bicurious.... With straight wife

Hi my name is Jaye. I'm currently in a relationship of 5 years. I love my partner and we have a pretty good sex life. Considering with just had a kid. But My partner is pretty conservative and isnt intetested in exploring and crazy kinks with me. I have not come out and said I'm bi. I have always suspected myself to. I have had many fantasy's and cravings to explore this i was a teenager . But the thought of getting caught kept me away. I have enjoyed using some toys here and there which i have bought. okay (alot of toys) But usually throw away. She actually found a dildo once and asked what the fuck is this lol. I said what do you think. And we left it at that.

I fantasise oftern about every crazy bisexual encounter you can think of. Recently I have found I really enjoy cd"ing and imagine submitting myself to someone who would enjoy it haha. The cd'ing really turns me on alot!! I find myself doing it as soon as she leaves the house ! It's becoming abit of problem cause I enjoy it soo much! I feel like she is going to come home one day and catch me. . I really don't know what to do.. Is there is anyone else out there who had been in a similar position. What did you do? If you partner isn't interested in it. And your worried if she sees you cross dressed. It change you relationship alot. Did you keep hiding it and enjoy it now and then . Or did you manage to stop doing it It seems I stop for awhile but then I crave it so much it boils over..... and I keep going back toplaying with toys while cross-dressing.

 

Most guys who don't want their partner to find out about their sexuality/kinks will remain silent about them and I'm thinking that if crossdressing is your thing, yeah, she might not have a sense of humor or understanding about that. If you are sure that you can't talk to her about this, chill out and work on being a good father.

 

In our lives, we have explored many different types of fun kinks. Its all good, if everyone is on the same page. Bottom line is love, sex and having fun with each other. Alone time is good too and we allow each other the time to chill or explore with our toys, etc. Talking and openess is the key .

 

So you have refrained from exploring your sexual interests and even agreed to live with a conservative woman and have a child, thereby agreeing to limit your sexual freedom to heterosexuality with only one person.

Since you like your sex life with your girlfriend, it can be said that your girlfriend is honouring the - implicit - agreements, while you want more than you are entitled to. It doesn't matter whether it's additional women or men. Bisexual response patterns are not evidence of deviant sexuality, they only prove that sexual possibilities have not been successfully blocked. Therefore, the claim of bisexuality cannot be used as an excuse in such cases.

As long as no third parties are involved, that seems a bit harsh at first. But is it appealing to be constantly on the defensive, fearing that family life will eventually collapse? Men should not underestimate women's amazing ability to find out about a man's sex life. The potential financial consequences of female dissatisfaction need to be considered.

You should first clarify what you really want, perhaps with the help of specialist forums and hotlines, and then consider further steps with a suitable therapist.

 

Pretty sure most men imagine themselves as women at some point. It doesn't mean we're gay or bi or trans, but imaginative.

And women's clothes are often better. I find it a bummer that I can't wear a skirt as normal dressing because it has a lot of advantages. But I've learned to make do and wear shorts that are skirt-like but still technically shorts. And women's jeans, I have a few pairs I wear, that have the shape, stretchiness, softness, and snug package benefit, but without the frilly pockets.

That doesn't detract from my masculinity nor make me attracted to males. I just enjoy the benefits of improved clothing.

 

This is why I wear my Kilts as much as possible.

 

I would wear kilts but they're so damn long!

 

You can get them at different lengths - mine are on the short side.

 

Welcome!

 

I find that I have the same issues with clothing. I love the idea of a skirt, but hate how it looks on me. I have zero inclination towards being gay or bi, and think it makes me look gay. Not like that would be bad, but it would not be who I am. Maybe it is in my own head, but I wish there were more masculine looking skirts or Kilts that did not look sooo Irish. I sort of feel like a poser when I put on a traditional Kilt. I bought one with the idea for my wife and I to go out for St Patrick’s day. sort of an excuse to test the waters, but just could do it. I felt like a poser. Also I do not like how long the traditional Kilts are. I guess I have to settle for short length wide legged liner-less shorts and commando. If anyone has links to kilt options that are shorter and less Irish looking please respond.

 

Look at "Utility Kilts" and you can also have them made to order at different lengths.

Try USA Kilts on line.

 

There's also the hiking skirts, they claim are gender neutral. You can find them with a search. Several options come up. Purple rain is one. Hiking Skirt with Pockets for Women and Men – LightHeart Gear another. Pretty cool.

However, it's worth noting that for men an open skirt needs to be pretty long in order to allow sitting without spilling the goods. A skirt can be short but requires a cloth strip from front to back to catch things when sitting. The strap can hang when walking and allow most of the air over benefits.

So it's worth a try but in the end for me I've just opted for the shorts. I tend to go cutoffs and expand the leg and crotch room so they're like a skirt with a strip of fabric. To the casual observer they just look like shorts except if following me climbing. I also have luck with some "active wear" shorts - I get em a little big and cut the legs to height, usually to just below the pocket depth. Last ones I got at Costco inexpensively and the leg fabric left over was about six inches but they came out nice. Thin, leaves a nice print, airy, great for hiking and biking and shopping but not much protection when working on stuff.

So... Lots of options to explore.

 

For me, I am looking for something fairly short. I would want a length that is just long enough that would provide coverage as long as I was careful. No different than a woman in a mini-skirt. The risk of possible exposure for a woman is partly why they like wearing mini-skirts as well. I am not looking to do cartwheels or rock climbing, but possibly hiking trails and working around the yard etc. I will check out some of your suggestions. Thank you.

 

You might consider finding a plain denim mini skirt in a thrift store that fits. Maybe trim the hem to where your want it (I like wrist length on the sides and finger tip length front center). Experiment to see what works best. Then sew a strip of denim about 2"wide and 6" long to the front and back center just above the hem. Experiment to find your recipe.

That allows for the risk of exposure plus allows sitting with legs closed without showing. To show just open a leg a little in the direction of the target. Hiking a steep rough section, the people below will get a show. Normal walking, nothing shows.

 

I would love to be able to wear a dress full time. Not because I want to look feminine. But because of the comfort that comes with having nothing interfere with my male parts. I have a running kilt that I love. I don't wear underwear with anything and my running kilt is almost like running or hiking/walking nude. Nude is my preferred way but most people don't see it my way. So the next best thing would be to wear a dress or kilt.

BTW, most men have had a inkling of what it might be like to cross dress or partake in bisexual adventures. Even those with a straight marriage wonder what it would be like to have same sex relations. And who hasn't tried on their wifes undergarments or dress at one time or another. When I turned around and looked at myself in her miniskirt, sweet sufferin succotash, right there's a nice looking ass.

 

I've been looking at Utility Kilts myself (Not into crossdressing; I want one for comfort, and because I have both Irish and Scottish ancestry), and there are some fairly decent ones on both Amazon and eBay. Besides there and USA Kilts, try Damn Near Kilt `Em. They have some products on Amazon, but more on their own site.

I am in the same boat about being bicurious with a straight wife, but I want to experience being a bottom. She'd kill me if she found out.

 

Thanks for the legal analysis.

 

Partner relationships and kids make an already difficult exploration more challenging. I think wherever you are on your personal journey, it's easier if you can share with your significant other. It's not easy to have the first conversation but you might think about framing it around HER fantasies. It took a while for me to get my wife to open up but after a while we were able to have great conversations about past lovers and fantasies and started to get to the things we used to keep hidden. Once we focused on her fantasies it got easier to share mine because it was about BOTH of us, not just my fantasies.
Getting into fantasies, you might find some that are more fun as fantasies than realities. Just happens.
CD fantasies, those are yours. I had similar fantasies and when I mentioned some to my wife she was like 'that's your fantasy. you deal with it' which told me she didn't want to participate or hear about it.
I started collecting a couple wigs, skirts, tops, stockings, panties, all stored in boxes, out of her sight because she didn't share this fantasy but didn't judge me. Shoes, that was tough because I have big feet. I also found dresses work better for my figure than skirts and tops. Long sleeves to tone down my arms and manly tattoos.
I found out I don't look pretty no matter what I try but from the neck down I can put together a pretty sexy bitch.
The first time the wife left town for business I drove out, fully dressed as a woman, the to the nearest metro to an alt bar I scoped out. This was on my way to a fantasy to have a group of guys cover me in cum as a woman. After trolling around I found a group of 5 guys playing pool. They didn't seem to interested but after I explained what I was doing to the friendliest looking one of them, we went to the alley behind the bar where they obliged me with a face full of cocks and cum in my mouth and some just being jacked off onto my face. There was a lot of 'take it faggot', 'how do you like being a slut' kind of stuff but that added to the rush. After they were all done one guy stayed behind to get a full blowjob. We walked back into the bar with me with cum on my dress and face and wig and after smiling at a few people there I left and drove home. I was rock hard and stroking myself all the way back. Being in a dress, smelling like cum, passing drivers while cross dressed, it was just a total rush.
I would never gone ahead with that fantasy if I didn't share it with my wife. Even with her lack of interest, it was okay to follow my desire because we were able to talk about it without any shame.

 

I hate to be killjoy, but if you go further you will lose your marraige and your child, let alone your financial security. Twice divorced here. Be prepared.