Hi I hope someone here can give me some advice. My long term girlfriend has recently admitted she also like girls. Apparently this is not something new and she has known for a long time but because she comes from the Caribbean she has hidden this until now. I'm confused because on the one hand I'm very turned on by the thought of her being with a woman but on the other hand I feel threatened by it. Since telling me this she has been back to her home country and been with numerous women, she always tells me she has been with them but very few details of what happened. Before she went back I noticed our sex life declined and that she was visiting lesbian websites, both for porn and forums. I'm concerned about where this is heading as it certainly seems she enjoys sex with women maybe more than with me, she certainly orgasms more with them, one young girl made her come so many times in a night she lost count. I'm due to go to the Caribbean soon and she has asked me to buy a strap-on toy for her and take with me so she can use it on her "girlfriend". Not sure if I can handle that, would be very excited to watch but also very jealous. Not sure how to handle this, we've been together nearly 9 years and have talked about starting a family. Any sensible advice would be appreciated.
I would talk to her about maybe having a FFM threesome. Then you and another woman could please her and maybe even you and her could start sharing women instead of her going off and fucking women without you.
I have yet to meet a str8 dude who does not think that lesbian sex is hot. Especially if he gets to watch or maybe even get involved. Relatively few str8 women would say this about the gay sex though. Dating of the light NSA kind is one thing. Starting a family, with all the obligations and duties it involves is quite another thing. Eventually, only you can decide if you want to see your relationship as being open, as opposed to being monogamous, and yeah, only you want to decide if you want to take the risks associated with it. I would not call this an ideal family constellation, though... KD
Interesting. My "ex" and I discussed having a three-way relationship with my transwoman friend when he visited me this spring, since all three of us are bisexual/pansexual. I'm also asexual so don't care that much and don't seem to get jealous. But my thinking is that SOMEONE is going to be left out and get jealous eventually. I'm curious about who else tried this and how it worked out. I love both of them and would enjoy being with either or both, or just watching them, but I'm also perfectly happy as a single. But people can't help how they react and it seems I'd be inviting trouble. But having 3-way orgies sounds like heaven to me! That way everyone gets what he/she/zer wants. But for how long? It's true that in the case above, a younger woman might leave the male out if they started a family, but I don't know that. Maybe the babies will just have more nurturing and attention from two females, and the male could have more sex. Unless her women friends get jealous of him and push him away. :sunny:
Take charge dude... Man up and make her feel like you're her man, and you're confident with her alternative lifestyle. Just as long as you set the rules that BOTH of you can play with the third party, then that should be that. Of course outside of the bedroom, you need to pamper her, show her that you deeply love her, and want this relationship. No offense, but women don't like weak men. If you're constantly showing her your insecurities and lack of confidence then you're just asking for a break up. This revelation of her bisexuality is an opportunity for you to be a part of it if you truly want to be with her. And if she sees that you support it, you're comfortable with it, and confident with yourself, she will reward you by including you in that fun. What you need to do is make it known in your relationship is that you're fine with her lifestyle but include you when the opportunity arises. If her girlfriends are trying to turn your girl against you, then you need to instill your commitment and dedication to your girl so that she has your back and defends you. I understand how a woman can manipulate another into dumping their man. Hell it happens in the average, ordinary heterosexual relationships daily. But because your girl has that little extra thing about her that a lot of guys find appealing and would dream to have with their women, you need to stake your claim and make sure you're going to be around for a good long time. And for you, you need to know for sure that this is the woman you want to grow old with. If not, and you don't think you can shake that insecurity feeling of her bisexuality, then you need to cut your losses, get the hell out, and let her choose someone else that's comfortable with her lifestyle.
