Bi men and aging

I understand; it's something that a lot of men wind up doing. I've told a lot of women, "If you don't fuck your man, someone else can and will..." and they get pretty salty about it but I counter it by asking, "Really, what did you think was going to happen when you decided you didn't want to have sex anymore?" It's one thing when medical issues make it impossible for her to have sex and so many women use menopause as a reason to not have sex and, all too often, to their detriment because their man isn't going to settle for being celibate so... they might not step to the side with a woman but sucking cock with a buddy? Maybe dicking each other down?

That works and she doesn't have to worry about being bothered with having sex. If she finds out, sure, there will be hell to pay but a lot of guys ask, "Baby, what do you expect me to do? I still want and need to have sex!" And the moral thing of doing nothing about this situation just ain't gonna fly with a lot of men. And... if you don't take care of your man, someone else can and will and it just might be another man.

 

When I have spoken to my wife about it I have equated it to chocolate. “You have given up chocolate for a time, but you always return to it at some point. Never can you give it up long term. I can, and because I can so you have to also. Since I don’t need it you don’t either.”
Of course this line of reasoning doesn’t fly, so I leave it at that. She has gone as far as to say “I don’t want to know how you solve the no sex in our marriage issue”
So I leave no indication of how I solve it. My goal isn’t to punish her for not wanting it. It’s biology, she isn’t not desiring sex to punish me. She just doesn’t have any libido anymore. In every other aspect of our marriage she is a great wife. It is out of respect that I keep it hidden from her. She characterizes sex differently than I do, she can’t imagine sex apart from love. I think most women(not all, but most) think the same in this regard.
Most men are able to separated the two. My sexual fulfillment can be gained apart from love. I don’t have to be in love with the person who is sucking my dick. For me it’s as simple as that.

 

Yeah, a lot of wives don't want to know how you're doing to deal with and solve this particular problem; there are some wives who know that their hubby has taken up with another guy and is content not to say anything about it as long as hubby is still being hubby and not of a mind to run off with whomever they're having sex with. This "mode" tends to work for a lot of husbands but, yeah, there are still the horror stories where this version of "don't ask, don't tell" ain't gonna fly wth her. She's never going to have sex again and you're not going to either unless you step to the side or divorce her.

I've always said that men are easier to get into bed than women are because we have that ability to keep sex and love separate and we understand that we don't need to be in love with each other in order to have whatever sex we're having - we get together, get our dicks hard, make them soft again and... go get a beer or something.

 

KD23:

Just my personal observation............

Though "sex" unto itself is "simple", in some sense, the complexities involving it oare many, especially if a deep emotional connection builds between two males who are married, but CRAVE sex with other males.

For yours truly, a strong EMOTIONAL "connection" would make ANY M2M sex even MORE erotic and intense; HOWEVER, if there is NO emotional connection between the men involved (say in a "one-night stand situation", or whatever) that should NOT prevent two (or more) hard and horny guys from getting it on with one another, HOT and HEAVY!

 

I've always understood that an emotional connection was optional but with gay guys, so many of them were looking for (a) good dick and (b) a good, strong emotional connection. Girls looked for that connection and often demanded it, stating that a lack of it meant that her legs were going to stay closed, which made getting with a guy easier because the last thing he was looking for or even wanted was somebody getting into their feelings because whatever sex they were having was off the chain.

Being horny was enough of an emotional connection. Being in the moment and working toward busting a nut - then busting one. Ahh, damn, I needed that - thanks, man! See you when I see you!

 

Just was thinking of "when the wife's away, hubby will play" (with other men!).........

If the wife's away, and hubby's horny as hell for some intense M2M action, what scenario might he encounter, in order to relieve his pent-up "blue balls"?

Some discreet action via an established FWB?

A quick internet hookup?

A trip to a local adult book store?

Or, perhaps (and I have heard of a number of such encounters) a good blowjob or a quick fuck, courtesy of a visting repairman/cable guy/gardener, etc.?

Or, perhaps, just leisurely jacking to porn, knowing that he can take it slow and easy, with the wife away for a spell........

 

All of the above? Something you didn't mention above? Although, getting yourself off doesn't exactly count as M2M action since it's a solo act but I'm digressing a bit. Men, for the longest time, have had to plan their dalliances with other men around whatever their wives do on a daily basis. The wife who has a job is 'easy' to plan around although if you take the day off to do one of the first four things you listed, she might want to take the day off to be with you and, hmm, maybe for some fun that doesn't include any men other than you. This history is rife with horror stories of the wife coming home from work unexpectedly and catching hubby bent over the sofa and "Bruce" is banging the fuck out of him. Oops.

The stay-at-home wife presents even more problems and especially if she doesn't go out of the home all that often and the history here is that the husband who is always asking what she's going to do today could become suspect and get her asking, "Why do you want to know?" Now, if she doesn't work but she goes out to get her hair/nails done, sure, you might be able to plan something around that but most guys who have a wife who stays home usually (a) looks for someone who can host or (b) spends some cash to get a motel room, hit the local ABS or maybe even hope to get lucky to be able to duck into an alley for a quickie, get blown walking through the park, stuff like that.

Traveling for business is great for all of the above - unless your wife comes with you and what do you do if she asks if she can come to Chicago with you because she's never been there? Do you tell her that she can't come? That she'll be bored silly if she does? That she'd wind up spending her day by herself while you handle the business you came to Chicago to do? Yeah, this one gets interesting and, as far as I know, doesn't happen all that much.

The first two things on your 'list' can have a huge hosting problem attached to it; the next thing, well, if your wife is the kind of woman who wants to know where you're going and why, telling her that you're going to the ABS might be interesting unless she knows about your great porn collection so you might be able to tell her you're going there except, um, how long does it take to buy some porn? The next one - getting lucky with a service provider - can happen (I've had it happen quite a few times) but is more in the realm of unimaginative porn or food for thought along the lines of, "What would I do if the cable guy wanted to suck my cock?" But this one only works when your wife isn't going to be at home, of course.

All of this really speaks to a guy having to be opportunistic when it comes to getting some dick; you have to be creative and inventive as well as not having much in the way of fear; unless you have her permission, you have to be a consummate, Oscar-worthy actor and, yeah, liar to be able to explain to her what you're doing, why you're doing it, where you're doing it, so on and so forth.

A guy told his wife that I had asked him to come over to help me work on my car - and that was the truth because I did and what I was doing to my Lincoln was a two-man job. The other reason was, of course, we wanted to spend some time sucking each other off and that became problematic because she kept calling him every ten minutes asking where he was and what he was doing - and when was he coming home. A couple of times, he gave me his phone so I could tell her that, yes, he's still with me, no, I don't know how much longer this is going to take because I broke a wrench and we're about to go get a new one - and that was the truth but as I was talking to her, he was sucking my dick (and trying not to laugh).

He asked me why I didn't have to go through the shit he had to go through and I said, "Because my wife knows that I'm bi and that I suck dick and I've had permission for years now..."

There is nothing that will kill your mood than to be jerking off, taking it nice and easy and... your wife comes home unexpectedly and starts bellowing for you or, worse, comes looking for you and there you are, on the bed, naked, cock in one hand, prostate stimulator poking out of your ass and you're wearing one of her bras. Or otherwise walking into to the bathroom when you're trying to rub a quick one out.

 

KD23:

Man, talk about a "thesis" worthy of a string of A's!

Once again, yet again, it's obvious that you've MORE than "got your shit together", and are ready to implement any contingency plan!

You brought up a VERY good point, one that I totally did not take into consideration:

"What if the wife is almost always at home"?

That, certainly, can throw a monkey wrench into in the mix, IF the horny bi hubby does not have any "alternate plans" in his arsenal.

Business trips?

Man, if I had a dollar for every internet story I've read about married buds on business trips together "getting it on" in the hotel, or, a bi guy away on a business trip, alone, looking for some M2M action to allow him to relieve his pent-up blue balls.

And, I've indeed read of married guys making (favorable!) comments to another guy:

"Fuck, man, you suck cock better than my wife!"

Or:

"Damn, your ass is fucking tighter than my wife's pussy!"

And so it goes............

 

You tend to learn a lot of shit about this over the decades and hearing how guys who don't have permission go about getting the dick they want... or why they can't get it. Yes, you get to hear that you suck cock better than the wife or women and, yes, whew, your ass is stupid tight and made me cum fast! Both are, in my opinion, the best compliments one man can give another. The allure is that (1) guys do suck cock and swallow cum and (2) if you want to fuck someone in the ass, you probably stand a better chance getting to fuck a guy in the ass than your wife or some other woman.

Your experiences will definitely vary.

See, if a guy can't host, it's usually because there's a wife and other family members at home and at any given moment in time. If the guy in question doesn't have plans to deal with this, well, he probably won't be getting any M2M action. As an aside, the "I can't host!" thing can be a lie because a guy who lives alone can host... but stranger danger says not to let some dude in your home that you don't know all that well. Horror stories about being robbed and/or assaulted in their own home is enough to make a guy who could host not dare to.

I once asked a guy who said he couldn't host because he didn't trust me, "But you want to come to my home and I'm supposed to trust you, right? How the fuck does that work?" Needless to say, he didn't get his "black cock" experience, and another guy invited me into his home and we had a grand time sucking each other off.

I thought that once you become an adult - or you're already one - being able to have sex with another guy gets to be problematic and, as such, you need to have plans you can activate when you want to get some dick and now that doing so isn't as easy it as it was when you were younger (and if you partook back then) If you find yourself married and bitten by the "dick bug," yeah, you need to formulate plans to be able to get and that includes being able to fit it into your daily routine.

 

KD23:

Yeah, you would THINK that with AGE comes MATURITY; well, GUESS AGAIN....it don't always work like that!

Personally, if a bisexual man marries (and he KNOWS he's ALWAYS going to be trying to get some dick and male tail on the side) it would seem that, he would have a "battle plan" of sorts, at the ready,one which would at least guarantee him the CHANCE to hook up with another guy for mutual sucking/fucking, without the wife getting wind of anything.

Then, too, as you and I have already discussed, there will always be those men with bisexual tendencies who truly hope that being married to a woman will "cure" them of their need for dick and male ass.

Far too many of these guys end up facing a VERY rude awakening, at some point in their mariage, especially when the wife always seems to "have a headache"......

 

This issue isn't all that prevalent with men who are bi and been getting some before they got married; sure, they know they're bi, they know what being married means, but they have a plan or nine or ten so that he'll be able to get some M2M action if she gets funny and stingy with the coochie. The guys with the bigger problem are the ones who were 100% straight when they got married but now, four or five years down the road, they're interested in M2M and usually via watching gay porn and some guys get bit watching straight porn but focusing attention on the big dick ravaging the woman's pussy and then the huge load he either sprays all over her or pumps into her and he's watching it ooze out of her and stuff like that.

Those guys have no experience in planning on how to get some dick; they know that the wife can't find out about this because they've heard about the horror stories so they have a lot of shit they need to figure out that they never had to consider before. And if a guy thinks that an overabundance of pussy will cure them from wanting M2M sex, I'd beg to differ with him because as so many of us have learned, you can get all the pussy you can handle but when you want cock, that's the only thing that's really going to satisfy the need.

Age and maturity have nothing to do with this. If "Carl" is thinking about getting some dick, he has to figure out how he could get some and in a way that his wife never, ever, finds out about it and he also has to consider whether she works, when she does, how long is her workday or if she's a stay-at-home wife. Then you factor in children, from young ones to the teenaged ones you'd rather bury in the backyard and will be glad when their asses head off for college and, hopefully, far, far away from home. Once again, the hosting issue becomes paramount and, honestly, I don't really remember how many times I had to cancel a "playdate" with a guy because one of my kids got sick and I have to come get them.

The logistics involved when you're bi and married can be a bitch and a half. Then consider the man who has permission to get all the dick he needs but there's a provision that he cannot have sex with a man in the home - now we're back to being able to host becoming a problem.

Is this getting messy enough for you?

 

KD23:

Once again, I MUST say:

"Damn, do you know your shit!"

NO ONE could EVER accuse you about NOT knowing how to get dick when the mood hits, and your balls are boiling!

Man, could you ever give lessons in "DICK-ology 101"!

My LAST DOLLAR would be on YOU, for certain!

 

I do my best. Okay, when I was young and very full of cum, being able to deplete my supply of cum was so easy that it was almost criminal; I had male friends who wanted to do it and one of my best friends was a gay bottom who not only mastered the art of cocksucking but had an asshole that felt better than pussy. It was easy to sneak in some sex and, well, okay, we may have thought we were being slick and fooling the adults around us but, nope, we weren't that slick and they weren't fooled all that much. Anyway, we could spend a night or a weekend with each other and spend that time in the bedroom having sex or be outside playing and "disappear" somewhere to do so sucking and fucking and if there was a guy who wanted to do it - but couldn't because of siblings, parents, whatever, they'd get indoctrinated into being able to do it anywhere and it didn't take all that long to give/get a blowjob.

Adulthood changed all of that. Unless you were single and had your own place, you had to plan and scheme in order to be able to get the M2M sex you were looking for and if you were married, you could almost forget about getting some cock unless you were willing to go behind her back. When trying to get into a guy's pants, I have heard so many reasons why being able to do this just wasn't possible because if life didn't happen, shit would happen that ensured that the only cock you'll be playing with today is your own. Or I'm trying to get into a guy's pants and he's coming up with all kinds of reasons why he can't do what he says he needs to do - and every suggestion I make is countered with yet another improbably reason why he can't take thirty minutes or less for us to 69 and suck each other off.

You hear these things and take note of them. Sometimes the reasons are bullshit, but they usually aren't because being an adult and trying to get some cock is a lot harder than it was if you were trying to get some when you were younger and, yeah, being married? You'd better have a plan and that plan should have some plans and while you cannot plan for every contingency, you can plan for a lot of them - you just gotta be smart about it.

And yes, I'm nerdy enough to pay attention to such things...

 

Didn't had sex for a year with a women and pretty much the same with one guy. I feel like a dipshit. I'm 47 and drink, take crack and smoke weed, have a belly. I'm not even trolling, 4 years ago, i was on top. I thought about it a lot and men are asking much more than i thought 27 years ago. That's when i understood i was bi.

 

.....it would be interesting indeed if we had one VERY senior bisexual man, one well into his 80s, recounting his recent bi experiences, in relation to his advanced age (he MIGHT just surprise us!)

I had a gay friend out of state (RIP) who was in his early 90s and STILL "getting it on" with several gai/bi buds several times a week.....he certainly DID NOT let a little thing like AGE slow him down!

Our phone chats were ALWAYS quite "educational"........

 

Well, you're gonna have to wait quite a while before I'm 80 - and I hope to still be around at 80! I'll be 70 in a few months, and it does have me thinking about what I might want to experience as well as how my age is going to affect my bisexuality - and, of course. my ability to have sex. I want to still be able to enjoy having my dick sucked as well as retaining the ability to give a damned good blowjob - and still be able to eat a pussy right off of some young chick's body. Maybe I won't be able to shoot a gallon of cum but the orgasmic feelings should still be pretty fucking amazing...

Shit. Forgot to add that I'd love to still be able to fill someone's pussy or ass with my dick and with the hope it'll take me a long time to "cum" and I still have the stamina to keep at it and give someone a good fucking.

 

KD23:

I LIKE a fellow with a POSITIVE outlook!

(NO HOLES BARRED!)

BTW:

Wishing you a HAPPY (and horny!) birthday a bit early!

 

The old saying goes:

".......with age comes wisdom......"

If this is true, then, surely, an elderly bisexual gentleman indeed must be QUITE knowledgable!

 

Whoever said that was probably smoking something that was illegal and/or they were heterosexual, staunchly so, and couldn't fathom being older and, oops, bisexual. Okay, I'm an elderly bisexual gentleman who has amassed a lot of knowledge about a lot of things. Does it make me wise? That depends on who you ask and who you're talking to. To someone younger and way younger than I am, maybe I appear to be wise or like my children when they were young, thinking that I'm crazy and I don't know what I'm talking about - then they get older and find out that I was wise when, in reality, I know a lot of shit that they don't know or they think they do.

There are, very likely, bisexual men who are older than I am and they know some stuff that I don't but they also likely know that knowledge isn't wisdom because it's not what you know that makes you wise; it's doing... stuff; making mistakes and watching others make mistakes - but also having successes and seeing others who've had similar successes and being able to put it all together to have a larger worldview than you did when you were 12. My lady is older than I am, and I wouldn't say that she's wise - but that's probably because she's not that much older than I am, we grew up in the same era, and I've done more shit than she has.

Knowledge doesn't make one wise; it's how you use what you know.

 

KD23:

Another EXCELLENT response......I agree with your last line 100%!